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How to ask MIL to give back MY jewellery

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by persecutedDIL, Dec 23, 2013.

  1. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    whenever there is some occasion ask them to get you to locker as you want to wear your jewellery. Make it sure you go with them take your all jewellery then n there as in bank they cannot create a scene(I think so)n while coming back keep it all in your locker.

    If you don't manage to go along ask your heaviest set and much more to get and if you get them don't return.
     
  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    persecutedDIL....since you have already burnt your bridges with your MIL....why not just sit down with her and get it over with. Tell her the jewelery your parents and husband gave is yours and you want it back.(the jewelery she gave is also your streedhan ...but it will just cause heartburn.I don't understand why people give jewelery if they can't emotionally part with it.What is the use of such gifting).No arguments...just a statement that you want your stuff back. If she says some nonsense about her right to gift it to others....just tell her that your jewelery is not hers to gift.Period.
     
  3. Wondergirl137

    Wondergirl137 Gold IL'ite

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    The one thing that my lawyer very strongly told me was: "what is with you girls of today that you keep all your jewelry with your MIL?"

    I had done exactly the same thing - all jewelry by my parents, from relatives and all to my ex-husband from my relatives, kept with the ex-mil,thinking let it be if it feeds her ego and am at peace. I had to use legal ways to extract it and some of it I did not get back. My case is different and hence I had to resort to legal ways.

    So, all newly married and about to get married friends, how so ever good your PILs are, never ever keep your jewels with them, get a locker of your own,it is 1000 times more peaceful and saves un-necessary trouble.

    Yes, the streedhan (all jewels/articles/hh items, given to you by your parents and your in-laws) is only and only yours and refusal to give your streedhan back to you comes under breach of trust (there is a section for it in IPC) and is an offence. However, I don't think you need to go to that extent in your case.

    I am not sure about the jewels given to your husband by your relatives. It is a prominent and very cheap practice by many north indian (no offence, am northie as well) PILs to keep the jewels gifted to their son from his in-laws side and use it to gift to other relatives. If you can somehow convince your husband that you can make better use of the jewels gifted to him by your relatives/or that you need to gift your relatives on their children marriages back and he agrees to ask for them from his mom.

    Oh, and just go and ask for your jewels, say outright, no need to cover-up or make it honeyed because either way she is going to blame you sometime.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2014
  4. manu2009

    manu2009 Silver IL'ite

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    happy that you are aware of the concept of streedhan! very true, every piece of the jewellery and property gifted at the time of the marriage to the bride is her streedhan and no one has any right over it except the girl herself.

    if u are staying away from pil, simply ask her politely saying that you cannot wear them whenever you want to.

    since you are financially independent and your hubby appreciates that, request him to intervene and ask your mil to return your streedhan. u having a locker should be emphasized so your mil doesnot "fear" for the safety of the same.

    sorry to advise you in these words, but if humility and politeness doesnot work you need to use rough means and sky is the limit, but that will lead to discontent between u and hubby, so tread cautiously
     
  5. manu2009

    manu2009 Silver IL'ite

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    agree with wondergirl. all newly marrieds, keep your jewels with yourself, much much peaceful....
     
  6. soniaM

    soniaM Junior IL'ite

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    When I asked for my jewelry. .the answer dat I got was " konsi jewelry?? Woh toh sirf shaadi me dikhawa karne k liye tumko di gayi thi.. the very next moment I had tears in my eyes.. I was hurt deep within for such an insult..
     
  7. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    try some of these suggestions:
    1.in the next family function where all Inlaws will be present,wear very fake looking jewellary & tell everyone in loud voice that as MIL has kept all your jewellary in her locker ,you have nothing good to wear..............

    2.tell the the scary story the jewellary is getting stolen from lockers(whichever bank she has locker in)and its best to keep jewellary in different lockers .

    3.tell her you want to apply for loan against jewellary & need then for evaluation

    4.ask hubby to get your jewellary back for you.

    5.if you have children,tell her you want jewellary back so that you can give them at time of their marriage.

    6.suppose something happens to MIL ,only anyone who is nominated or joint locker holder can open the locker so ask her that its best she adds you as joint locker holder.

    7.tell her'so & so' GOD came in your dreams (or some pundit told you)& asked you to visit the temple decked up in wedding dress & jewellary to pray for long life of her son.
     
  8. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    When my husband was a small boy, his father got his mother a necklace. He fell in love with it and asked her then if she would give it to his wife when he got married. She made the mistake of saying yes.

    Fast forward about 15 years, and we get married. During our engagement I wore a necklace...very similar to the one he wanted me to get. She told me that he wanted her to give it to me, but since I already had a similar one, and also because I did not wear too much jewellery, what was the point?

    Fast forward another 15 years...my husband is STILL asking her for that necklace....and she still hasn't brought it out of the locker:)

    Some ladies will never part with their jewellery.
     
  9. kn543

    kn543 Bronze IL'ite

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    Personal experience, get DH involved and let him talk. Nothing else works as well as this.
     
  10. JustMyself

    JustMyself Gold IL'ite

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    Only after going through this thread, I learnt about "Stridhana", which is officiated by Hindu Marriage Law !!.. Weww !! How much to learn !!

    There is a very neat article here if any one is interested.

    For those, who want a quick view, synopsis goes as below. "In this sub-section, "property" includes both movable and immovable property acquired by a female Hindu by inheritance or devise, or at a partition, or in lieu arrears of maintenance, or by gift from any person, whether a relative or not, before, at or after her marriage, or by her own skill or exertion, or by purchase or by prescription, or in any other manner whatsoever, and also any such property held by her as stridhana immediately before the commencement of this Act."

    Catch for the OP may be below area
    Useful Tips to avoid pitfalls
    "In order to avoid future legal hassles, the bride or the bride family can do the following:

    • Keep a photocopy of all cheques, drafts etc. provided
    • Keep all cash receipts
    • Maintain photographs of jewellery, if provided"

    Hope this helps someone if not our OP.

    PS : All italicised text are extracts from easylaw-matrimonial-law-india.blogspot.com

    Cheers,
    JM
     
    1 person likes this.

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