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Why I decided to have no vacation with my PILs

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by persecutedDIL, Jan 8, 2014.

  1. MaliniHari

    MaliniHari Gold IL'ite

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    You have a noble heart! Hats off! But they do not deserve it hon! Never do this again.
     
  2. Wondergirl137

    Wondergirl137 Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry about the woes you had to go through when you wanted to be nice to your PILs. I think going on a vacation with the PILs and expecting it to be a perfect one is a "perfect dream"! If I were you I would drop the idea of that last one vacation with the PILs. If at-all you have to go,plan a pilgrimage, that too max 2 days long and let your husband/PILs decide the place,hotels food etc, you enjoy the luxury of being the quiet spectator.
    You might be the best planner at your home,among your friends and relatives,with the PIL's even if you would move the Himalayas for them or in simple words plan the best vacation,buy the best clothes, book 1st class tickets, it would always and always be about their son and not the DIL. And given the sick mentality/thinking most of the PILs have regarding DILs, you do good for them, they would think you are showing off and spending their son's hard earned money.
    I had give up taking initiatives on vacation,booking tickets, buy stuff for in-laws/SILs and/any such clan.
    But really kudos to you that you thought about and did go on a vacation with your PILs.
     
  3. gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh man..poor you :) You should follow my idea. I dont plan my vacations with them. Instead I send them beforehand to these places (I sponsor everything - tickets,taxi and hotel stay) and then for vacation 6months later- I go with my DH to the same place.And I usually say 'oh you guys just went there last year,right?So I have planned some place else to go :) '.
     
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  4. Butterflie

    Butterflie Bronze IL'ite

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    Ofcourse you were expecting applause for ur kind actions which dint happen. So the lesson is, some ppl never get it. Leave them out on vacations for the next 5 times and maybe they ll get to know!!
     
  5. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    HI I stopped going on vacations with IL long ago. It always becomes about them and not you. Moreover my DH gets so annoyed with them that he does not want to go. Time is precious why would you want to vacation with them, spend that time with your DH. As far as praise you will never get it, you could have put them at the ST. Regis in New York at $5,000 US a night and they still would find something to complain about. Your problem is your are being too kind and if you are , don't expect anything in return. My DH loves to vacation with my parents as he says they do their own thing and are low maintenance, and always wants to go with them. This drives my IL mad, but I don't really care what they think. They vacation with their daughter and I do with my parents.
     
  6. manu2009

    manu2009 Silver IL'ite

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    :bonksorry about the vacation, but I agree it was very much aapne pairo pe kulhadi marna:rotflbut I would like to congratulate you because of your initiative....it is the son or the daughter who take parents on a vacation but inspite of being a daughter(in-law) u tried walking that extra mile...:hatsoff

    in 2004, after completing 10yrs of marriage and a 4yr daughter in tow, we thought of a vacation, something like a second honey-moon alongwith my pil....what we did was combine the luxury, lazy trip with a visit to the temple of our family deity.....
    PIL KHUSH TO HUBBY KHUSH, SO MAI KHUSH!

    in 2009, we all went to the Andaman islands, hubby, daughter and son but this time my parents were with us.....they always wanted to visit there....especially the cellular jail....this time it was "AAI-BABA KHUSH TO MAI KHUSH, ISI LIYE HUBBY BHI KHUSH.."

    so keep up the good work hugsmiley
     
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  7. shantana

    shantana Platinum IL'ite

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    now PD, lesson learnt. dont ever do the mistake ever again.
    not in my dreams i will bring my PILs for vacations. enough with co-sis update whenever they returned from india trip or local vacantion trip.
     
  8. gurpreetsingh

    gurpreetsingh Gold IL'ite

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    Even i will not bring pils for vacation.. Even if they plan vacation, I am not willing to go... They do not visit any temple in their place .. whereas even if they go for some nice hill staation, they want to visit all road side temples too.. And we wold see the actual visiting spots for 2 /3 minutes... Their standard dialogue" ok we have taken photo and now we can leave"

    As someone said , mine too visit relative's realative's relative ( who are of no importance) even if they stay 100 km away

    And especially in long car journey , they talk so sarcastically .. So overall , vacation with pils is always a huge flop
     
  9. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    Anytime or anywhere...I just maintain a coedial relation. I have no problem going with my Pils...coz I know what to expect and I filter all unwanted sound frequencies.

    Anything too annoying will be reported.
     
  10. persecutedDIL

    persecutedDIL Gold IL'ite

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    @All - I enjoyed all your responses. Thanks!

    @yellowmango, anahita, sweetshreya, chillbreeze and others - the answer to your WHY is "learning curve effects".
    We perform something, we make mistakes, learn, do it again, re-learn etc etc.
    I would go once again with them to check if they have learnt something!

    If they do all the drama again, it would be a no-no forever! If they are polite, adjusting and not ungrateful (note - I did not say "grateful") this time, then may be the options are open - once with my kid(s) which I don't have yet :)

    Talk about "apne pairon mei aap hi kulhari maarna"!
    Am game for the love of my Darling Husband :p
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2014

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