Husband very typical.horrible married life.

Sorry about it. The thread went into a discussion very near and dear to me.

Please resolve the daddy issue that has been intriguing to many. Happy New Year!!

 

Akanksha, you are entitled to your religious beliefs certainly, but it is absolutely heartless to impute disabilities to sins of a previous birth. Some are preventable, some are not. I would suggest you to take a few classes in biology, learn about genes, mutations, environmental factors etc, that influence foetal development before you make such statements. I hope that divine beings (if they exist at all) have better sense than to exact retribution in this manner. And whether you like it or not, many previously inexplicable curses to mankind have been resolved by science.

Sorry OP, but it makes my blood boil when people use religion to justify insensitivity.

 

hey sweetypi, chill yaar, sorry if you didn't like what I said. I am not heartless or insensitive. As i mentioned, i have a personal family experience and have gone through what you just mentioned about genetics, mutations, nutrition, child birth, pre/post natal care etc for a particular disease with no cure. Have discussed with doctors, researchers at Stanford, so much that i probably can write a book about the disease. Still didn't find solace in any explanation. That got me into religion, astrology etc. At young age, i was reading books that older people read or listen to. That got me into comparing religions and started reading books on other religions. So, what I wrote is not my imagination but is based on these texts. Science is good but at some point, science is helpless. Yet the pain is not resolved and the mind needs comfort to handle the challenges. At that point, religion, supreme power, God or whatever one believes in helps to provide the needed comfort and peace of mind.

I am perfectly fine with your point of view and respect it as well. Hopefully, now you may understand my point of view. Your comments did surprise me.

Sorry OP for the distraction.

 

I haven't read the other replies to your post so don't know what the others have said about your situation. Let me make one thing very straight: you say that he was like this from childhood, but is your DH a child now? No, of course not. Also, if he doesn't talk to you nicely or express his love, how come he is keeping up his supposed 'friendship' with that lady and advising her and making sure her emotional needs are being met while you are stranded? To me, this looks like a clear case of emotional affair. It hurts I know,but that is what I feel. I think noting is wrong with you expecting him to express his love and feeling jealous when other couples get cosy in front of you. You are young and obviously at your prime.

We women need emotional intimacy more than sex. What is lacking is emotional intimacy. And as with most marital problems, talking helps. DON'T GET ANGRY and start throwing things at him. Instead, sit and talk with him.May be you could go out to a nice place to eat and then talk to him. Speak in 'feel' sentences. For example, instead of saying, ''You chatted with her and you ignored me completely'', say, ''When you chat with her, I feel angry/devastated/sad/whatever you feel. Make him understand that what he is doing is ruining your relationships.

Seriously, if it were my hubby, I would be doing CID-giri as well so don't worry about that.

 

OP,

I wouldn't vouch that your husband has an EMA with that women because perfectly platonic relationships are possible between a man and woman.

But at the end of it, what is your gut feeling about the whole thing? Are you suspecting an affair between them because of their proximity/ informal talks? Are there trust issues between you and your husband? I feel the more you attack him the more he would retract himself. You can talk it out with your husband in a non attacking way (but I assume you have already done this and his reaction was to hide things from you to avoid the tough conversation). Why don't you take it up with her or her husband directly. If you are sure there is something fishy, inform her husband about her behavior. Forward all those messages and their interactions to her husband and ask him if he is comfortable with all this and explain the kind of tension it is creating in your life. You may also want to warn your husband that you might take it up directly with her and her family if he continues to do things you disapprove of.

P.S - Since I have known only your side of sure, please be sure that you are not being oversensitive and over exaggerating a matter that can simply be ignored. Please consider my suggestion only if you are sensing a serious potential affair between them that could do a lot of damage to you and your marriage.

 

OK. I am not putting my head if its emotional affair or pure friendship. I can say one thing he is insensitive towards you.
-sharing every detail with frnd but hvg limited relation with wife
-hvg friendship with a lady even when he knows that you are feeling insecure and having problems at home