how often do you fight with your husband

Hmmm!I am in my third year of marriage!
First year:no fights!
Second year :Fights , i am saying fights cause the volumes were high !
Now we are tired to start a fight!Reason we are so busy with work that we are tired to start an argument in first place, infact when i am angry i simply turn quiet blessing in a way cause my battery is charged when i am quiet!

 

cat-mouse type: once in a fortnight or so
High volume fights: once in 2 months or so
Seriously big once: may be 3 times in these 8yrs of marriage...

 

Not often, but everything is back to normal in less than 1/2 an hour. it's me who get mad at him for being not organized, not punctual, not listening, not reading my mind etc. Most of the time he takes it quietly like a child taking it from the teacher. Sometimes he unsuccessfully tries to revolt. The issue is he keeps on repeating the same stuff and says i am like that. I ask in office are you like that and he says office is different.

 

Early, in the marriage we had some skirmishes and also some long drawn battles too. However, as time progressed, without saying as much, both of us made adjustments to accommodate each other. Nowadays, we fight very less frequently, may be one small fight every few months. That is because we developed a good understanding of each other and know what works.

I guess, it is all part of understanding each other. Quarrels and fights are also part of interaction and are useful in a way as they let us know the limits to which we can stretch our relationships. It is up to us as to how much we use them to develop better understanding of our spouses. It is like converging sequences in mathematics, initially the values vary a lot but with more iterations they gradually stabilize and tend towards a limit. Relationships too are like that. It takes time to converge towards stability.

 

my 1st yr of marrg was horrible. we were fighting all the time. understandng proboem n we won't talk for 1 or 2 days. after one yr the fights gradually decreasd. after our kid happened no more fights. my hubby has changd a lot. he doesn't takes anyhing seriously now no matter wht I say. I hardly remember any fights. sometimes I keep on shouting n he won't utter a single word. then ill realize n keep quite. may b hez laarnt the trick to manage me.

 

Initial years a lot...

but what I am amazed is, over a span of 11 years... I know how he thinks and when I have to start a fight I give upfront both sides of argument...

I go like

Look abc is my problem and your answer to this is a xyz and I am not agreeable to your xyz because of 123.. and the middle path where we meet is 467... and most of the time the fight is over at this point... no further arguments or disagreements... I open the fight and close it myself (mind you I close it amicably and not in a "my way or high way" fashion)

I wonder if this is what marriage does to you..

 

He had been "convinced" that it is simply not worth it :biggrin2:

 

Can we change this question to how often you do not fight with dh?

 

I am in my 3rd year of marriage now... No fights and no arguments till now... I feel happy for this But after reading all the posts here... I am just thinking, "Is this normal" thinkingsmiley