Got Divorce notice from ex

pm86 · Dec 5, 2013

I am feeling very sad and thinking why it all happened with me. Did I do any sin in past or present. My mom is a devotee of god and me too. She is like all the time at temples doing pooja or bhajan or kolatam. Even god did not save me. Whom should be blamed? I thought marriage is sacred relation and no matter what happens cannot separate couple but it happened. Its all like unexpected. And now I lost interest in life, donot know what happens with me. Now what should I do? I do not wish to fight or neither wish to sign mutually, in US even if one does not sign the other person get divorce with exparte. Should I just ignore and let him get it? Any valuable suggestions please IL?

naliniraut · Dec 5, 2013

Hugs to you dear. Honestly don't know what to say to you. Just felt like saying some words of comfort to you. Sometimes things happen which you can't control or anticipate in our life. Talk to someone who will give you some proper guidance. Hope you have some extended family around you. Be strong.

Laks09 · Dec 6, 2013

PK,
you have two choices. Don't bother about the notice and let DH get the divorce according to his terms or find a lawyer, get sound legal advice and get a divorce but make sure you get what is rightfully yours. Make sure you get your alimony or share of property et al. You have to stand up for yourself, girl. Nobody else will do that for you.
It is indeed unfortunate that your husband has chosen to get a divorce. I'm sure you are miserable and in grief. It's alright to grieve the loss of that dream relationship, because it was a significant dream. But it is also important to take actions that will help you once you are over the grief. So take charge, find a lawyer and fight for your rights. Love yourself more than him from this moment forward.

L

oaktree12 · Dec 6, 2013

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/married-life/238640-steps-healing-happy-liife-dedicated.html

Check this link dear. You will find it helpful.

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MaliniHari · Dec 6, 2013

Friend, hugs to you! IF you still think you can patch things, please talk to him one last time. If that does not work, please do not turn back. Time to pull up your socks and reinvent yourself. You cannot live with someone in a dilemma. Relationship is based on mutual trust. It can never be one sided. Think twice. Good luck.

pm86 · Dec 6, 2013

Thanks all.
Malini,
Talking through things are already done in 1 year of marriage, he has made up his mind. Now its almost 2 years and I know its inevitable. But somehow cannot accept the fact that he took this decision for reasons which are minor to me. My whole life is being ruined for this decision.

Pallavi4me · Dec 6, 2013

OP, I remember reading your posts. If I'm not wrong, he is the one who is not treating you properly and spending most of the time with his friend (his friend's wife), they are very emotionally attached, right!!!

You have clearly seen that there is no reason to stay with him under one roof, hence separated. Girl, though Divorce is not easy to accept but don't you think you are better without him in your life even if it is legally. Though you are living separately, legally you both are husband & wife when emotionally there is nothing left. He has taken the first step, be happy for that. Get rid of him.

Living with a wrong person since it is sacred relationship doesn't get you anywhere. Agreed, it is a sacred relationship, but when the other person in that relationship is not honoring it, where is the meaning to it. I can completely understand when you say, he initiated for some reasons which are minor to you. So from his action you can understand where you stand for him.

Stand firm. Exercise your rights. More than anything try to be peaceful. Life is much more and bigger to waste upon some worthless person.

guesshoo · Dec 6, 2013

Hugs to you dear.
You have received some really sound advice from the others here.

You husband has treated you terribly. It is his loss, not yours. Pallavi's words about sanctity of marriage are precious. In addition to finding a good lawyer, find a therapist, who will help you heal. Seriously. It will really help pull you out of your low mood and realise how much better you deserve.

Life fe will get better here on. You are in my prayers. Hugs again.

ivlakshmi · Dec 6, 2013

There is no point in living with some one who does not love you and treats you well. You have given him enough time so that he would change his mind and now don't waste your time on this relation ship. Love should always be from both the sides and there is no point to expect love if there is no love. All the best.

shruthisp · Dec 6, 2013

Pallavi4me said: ↑

Life is much more and bigger to waste upon some worthless person.
Click to expand...

I second Pallavi..
You should actually be relieved that you are not wasting ur time in a relationship which no longer has any meaning..
Stay Strong...