Why god is doing this to me

Dear Jyotsna,

I'm sorry for how they have broken you. Your husband doesn't deserve any love from you. And you can't change him. If you give him enough trouble he'd beg and promise to change but he won't. Just reading your posts makes my blood boil. I'm just telling you these aggressive steps you need to take for the sake of your sons and your wellbeing.

contact he domestic violence shelter in your neighbourhood. Leave the house with their help and make your way back to India. Once in India, file a police complaint 498a against your ILs. They are the people who need to be behind bars for what they have done to you. The law is meant exactly for people like your husband and ILs.

Leave with your son. You have an education and a lovely son to support. Just leave the husband before he kills you. In India also contact women's organisations to get back as much back as possible from what your parents have given you. Seriously. As soon as your husband leaves the house, pack a bag, your passports and leave with your son.

Other iL ites, - does a DV shelter also help you move from your house? Or would police help better? Please advise.

 

See jyotsna get out of this ditch asap.
One of my friend married to mentally ill person. She came out ofher marriage and now living alone . She lost her mom and now working as teacher. Living a contended life. Be bold and come out of this hell. Follow the advice of guesshoo. God will give opportunities to escape he wont come in person to help u. You have to find the way to come out.

 

jyotsana, you are so strong. Just look at positive side of yours and get courage to move on with life... i will never like with such a person but if you still want then make sure you can take charge of your life. Believe in yourself and start moving.. you can do what you want.. prayers with you..

 

Sorry to hear your situation. I think you need to go to India. Forget about the H1 and job here. Call police, they will connect you to the correct social organization and help you. Good Luck.

 

You are a college topper. You have 70 lakhs wealth. You have supportive parents. You have H1B. What more do you want?

Usually, true personality of a person emerges after having child. When the all consuming child-care tasks loom large over a person, he/she will become unhappy/miserable/choked. He/She looks for reasons to escape. He/She cant cope with the stress. Enlightenment usually happens very soon after having the child. Some people never have that realization hence they blame/fight with/abuse the spouse.

 

I think you are still having dreams about your marraige life which is always a women's dream.
But, what is important now: Husband or Marriage Life or Kid?

*Your husband is not a man who protects his family. Taking care of him or trying to having a long relationship is useless.
*Marriage life is always depends on both. If one can't keep up then other can try.
If one totaly tries to break it then it will never stand.
**Kid has a future and he is your future. I think he deserves more. He can cape without a father but not with a abusive father.

You try to take care of the kid. Raise him like a man never like his father.
Show him love, show him what women in this country mean and how much she deserves and show him what the tradition of country mean where respect of women is all. Because Women(Mother) is source of all. That why Mathrudevobava comes in first place of all.



Because Women(Mother) is source of all. That why Mathrudevobava comes in first place of all.

 

If you have an h1, great. So I assume you are in US. Please contact a DV shelter in your area ASAP. They'll give you suggestions on where to live etc.
1. get your job in order first. Once you have your h1b in hand, only then move out.
2. I am not sure if the DV provides shelter or not (I have moved out of my own house and contacted a DV shelter as well, however, I have some family in the US, hence didn't need a place to stay right away)
3. Upon getting the job, and having some cash in hand, immediately rent out an apartment. Is your h1 with a job? I am not into IT and hence doesn't know how it works, but I am holing you will be getting salary right away, and will not be in bench..
4. Move to your apartment right away, open 1-2 credit cards on your name. Establish credit line.
5. Find from your local city websites for daycare etc, or a desi lady who can take care of kid for cheap.

Other than that, where are your parents? Can they help? Can your mom stay with you for a while? If anytime in this process, your husband troubles you in any way, call the local police station right away. Do not think twice. Your safety and kid's safety is priority. if you do move out, I am sure he will be upset and angry with you, and will come searching for you. If he creates any nonsense, contact your local DV shelter people they will let you know how to obtain temporary order protection (TPO). They also will guide you to get counseling sessions for yourself, and give your free/cheap legal advice. If you tell them exactly what happened to you, without hiding details of any physical violence, they can even deport your husband.

Try all that above, if at any point, anything falls apart - go back to India, and live there. Atleast, you don't have to deal with this immigration crap and do things alone, because it isn't going to be easy here and that's the harsh truth.

Other than that, if you have a roof over your head, some cash, education, you are on your way to building a better future for yourself. First establish yourself, you will have time to cry and think about the "why me" etc later on. God will help for sure - only if you pick up yourself and start helping yourself first.