Gossip Is The Name Of The Warning Bell, This Time!

varalotti · Dec 26, 2006

Let me warn you, Kodha!

Kodha,
I read with great interest your contribution to this thread. While I appreciate the points you want to drive across, I am not happy over the language you used to express yourself.
As Meenu has rightly pointed out you have insulted one of the greatest contributors to this Forum, Mrs. Chitra Viswanathan. She has close to 5000 posts to her credit and many members are there in this forum attracted by her posts, ranging from recipes to religion, from proverbs to practical hints.
In my thread, when discussing the points given by me, you have every right to call me a fool. I will look for defences and if I could not find them, will gladly accept your contention and keep quiet. But, Kodha, you have no business to hurt somebody else in this forum, and that too a person no less than the stature of Mrs. Chitra Viswanathan.
In fact I was watching in helpless anger the way you expressed yourself and have not since visited this thread. I have not even replied to those who posted after you.
Now, Malathy Jey, with your kind permission, let me have the liberty to recommend appropriate restitution for the wrong done to Mrs Chitra.
Kodha, you will have to immediately edit your post removing derogatory references to Mrs. Chitra. And while doing so, you will have to offer an unconditional apology to her for your offensive post. And if you cannot bring yourself to do that, better stay away from all of my threads. And if you choose to visit in spite of this, I wont respond to your views and will simply ignore them..
You owe this at least in terms of this forum etiquette, in terms of maintaining the decorum of the forum, and above all, in terms of not hurting a good person and a wonderful contributor of this site.
You have mentioned my way of writing as "white-washing". I could sense the extreme derogation in your usage. But you know the effect of my white-washing posts? During the past one and a half years I have been a member of this site, throughout my close to 2000 posts, I have not knowingly or unknowingly hurt anybody. I have been hurt many times. But I chose not to hurt anybody. Because IL is not our business; neither is it our home. it is our favourite joint, where we come to relax, where we come looking for comfort exhausted by our official and personal pressures. And in such a place there is no scope for such strong words or no one, I underline the word, no one has the right to offend anybody.
And wrongs like this cannot be left unpunished. After editing your post and offering your unconditional apology to Mrs. Chitra, please stay away from the forum for a period of 2 weeks from now. Perhaps this agnathavasam might teach you some valuable lesson or two.
I sincerely hope you will take my comments in the proper sprit and act on my recommendations.
Please bear with me, Malathi Jey and Laxmi, for I have taken your moderator's role while recommending disciplinary action against the offending member. But since it has happened in my thread, I feel, I have the responsibility to do this.
Chitra, though I did not have a role in this, as the whole thing happened in my forum, I apologise for the hurt caused to you. Please forgive me.

regards,
Varalotti

lkodha · Dec 26, 2006

I apologise, Chitra Ma'am!

Dear Chitra Ma'am,
I was stunned by Varalottis very strong post condemning mine. I never thought he could be that strong in his words.
I don't want him to feel bad.
Hence I have removed the entire portion of my post dealing with your suggestion of blessing others.
And Chitra, Ma'am, I am offering my unconditional apologies to you. And I am terrribly sorry if my post had hurt you. Please forgive this silly girl and pray for me.
Varalotti, I wholeheartedly agree to the punishment proposed by you. I will not visit the site for a period of 15 days from now.
Are you happy, Varalotti?
regards,
Kodha Lakshmi

Vidya24 · Dec 26, 2006

and I learn from you, yet again Kodha!

Dear Kodha,

Saw the posts by Meenu and Varalotti. And read your reply. I learn from you yet again. To apologise sincerely in an open forum takes a lot of courage and strength of spirit. See you round soon.

regards
Vidya

Preethi · Dec 26, 2006

Late Reply to your thread, Varalotti

Dear Varalotti,

I could not participate actively in your threads offlate due to lot of work pressure and replying to your thread required lot of time and thoughts, which at this moment I couldn't afford...However the topic under discussion made me to write, despite my time constraints...

Let me just give my views quickly Varalotti. Gossips is something inevitable in our today's life, due to whatever reasons it arises. In my opinion, Gossip has two forms - one is harmless and other harmful. Gossip becomes harmless when it is just meant for time passing purpose and we healthily criticize the person for the heck of it (we used to do this with college friends) and taking home none of the discussions and forgetting abt it right there...

Harmful form is when its intended with a purpose of spreading wrong ideas and thoughts about one another, not only that, exaggeration plays a vital part here, at the end of such gosipping, we take home the ill thoughts about others magnified and dont forget the discussion and tend to pass our bad views and opinions to others...

Practically, due to various reasons, we are bound to be spectators of both harmless and harmful gossips at various times, though we may personally don't believe and divulge in it ourselves...The best way to handle gossip is take in all that you hear and forget about it the next moment and most importantly not forming an opinion about the victim (who is gossiped about) based on the outcome of these gossips but purely based on your personal equation with them. It's one's own mind and maturity to handle such talks that makes the outcome of gossip good or bad.

Keeping ourselves abreast of happenings around us, has become a necessity to be socially updated, but not at the cost of spoiling the image of a person to our own misinterpretations...

Personally, I never believed nor indulged in gossips, even if am subjected to such ill-gossipings, i have choosen to be a mere spectator or respond totally non-committal that am never asked for an opinion again, and forget about it the moment am out of the scene.

That was an interesting post from you Varalotti.

Love,
Preethi

varalotti · Dec 26, 2006

Let's Relax Ladies In New Year Celebrations!

Most Gracious ILites,
I was simply stunned by your overwhelming response to the Gossip thread. Sure we are going to take up heavy topics like that in future. But now, let's relax with a memorable new year celebration I had some 8 years back.
Please visit the Wednesdays thread and post your comments.
regards,
Varalotti

varalotti · Dec 29, 2006

Something Sweet This Saturday!

Most Gracious ILites,
I dont want to load something heavy on you during this new year weekend; at the same time I do not want you to miss an opportunity as the old year comes to a close.
So we are going to learn about Sweet Nothings, this Saturday.
I take this opportunity to wish you all a very happy and a prosperous New Year 2007.
regards,
Varalotti

varalotti · Mar 20, 2007

Let's Now Relax With a Convocation Congregation!

Most Gracious ILites,
Thanks for being with me when I handled one of the toughest and the most delicated topics, the HAMB. Believe me, it was a kind of tight rope walking for me.

But there were no risks because even if were to fall down there are 4000 plus good women to lift me up.

Now let's relax for a while. This week we are going to attend a convocation function at a local ladies college.

Let's see how the function goes by following this link:
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/w...i/5821-after-hamb-lets-relax-convocation.html

Regards,
Varalotti

varalotti · Mar 24, 2007

What Do You Want From Varalotti?

Most Gracious ILites,

This Saturday you are going to have a look at the menu card and place orders for your food. Yes, you are going to tell me what do you want from me.
I have posted a feedback questionnaire in Saturdays With Varalotti. Spend some time for me in answering the questions to help me make my posts more interesting for you.

With Affectionate Regards,
Varalotti

varalotti · Mar 26, 2007

Requesting Leave Of Absence!

Most Gracious ILites,

Greetings from Varalotti.

Owing to some professional and writing commitments I am now constrained to take a short break from IL. As of now I cannot say how long will I be away. But I am hopeful it might not be longer than a month.

If you want to reach me during this absence you are most welcome to pm me. I will definitely read your messages. I always maintain a five minutes swtich-gap between one task and another, whether the tasks are professional, personal or related to writing. I will use that time to read your pms and reply to them if called for.

In addition to fulfilling my commitments I will also use the time to re-organise my materials, to organise my thoughts so that when I come back after a gap, I will have some thing new, some thing fresh to share with you. I will try to change the wine; but if it is not possible, rest assured, I will at least change the bottle.

With the kind of affection I have been enjoying from you all along I am sure that you will bear with me for this absence.

With love and affection,
Varalotti

kanaka · Jan 12, 2008

Sir,
I happened to read your thread. wonderful. Feel happy when I read such articles.
To me it appears one of the reasons for gossip is men tend to ignore certain matters as insignificant or a trivial matter. Sometimes it is lou thinking which is equally dangerous.
It is an indication of a lady asking for a sympathetic hearing. We always need a shoulder to cry upon and we prefer our husband's giving us a chance.I know to a certain extent men have a different mental frame. I mean you are more logical minded whereas we go by emotions. But the same male species is ever ready to provide moral support to his lady colleagues in his office.(I have observed this in many situations).
An hour back I was just thinking of changing my habit of talking straight to the person. Sir, at times when you are frank people ladies cannot digest that. They twist the entire episode to their convenience.
Moreover we become unpopular. But your wrtitng has given me the strength to keep up my natural trait.
In your narration you have mentioned about the man eloping with the neighbour's wife. An honest reporting by a wife to her husband should not be a cause for immoral behaviour. My conclusion is both the ladies had no way of expressing themselves to their partners. The lady would have been trying to express her frustration to another woman.I feelt sad after reading the incident.
Still I do agree ladies more into mud slinging. kanaka