is expecting time from husband is too much?

vinayak22 · Nov 11, 2013

My problems seems to be never ending.
Its been more than 7-88 days, i felt my husband is not talking to me much. On friday, he came from wwork, sat on laptop, had dinner and same- didn't talked to me.
I complained him in normal tone that he has no time for me, he should realize Iam alone home all day and when he comes home , he should atleast talk to me.

He started behaving more weird and not talking to me since 2 days. I am getting more angry but i too don't want to approach him. he came once to tell me that i have more ego than him. i have no friends relatives here to whom i can go and spend some time. I have been quiet since 2 days. This silence kills me. he would just stay quiet but wont come come and talk and try to find ways out. Everytime he does same if i expects something. Instead he would stop talking and would expects e to come.

I feel his behaviour is too weird. he never pampers me and saying sorry is agianst his rules.
what to do? how you guys patch up?

Vijaya@17 · Nov 11, 2013

Hugs to you dear. Pls devote your mind in reading, listening to music and keep yourself busy. Each ones nature is different and more we expect leads to disappointment. It's nice to get the love, admiration and encouragement.

Make some good dishes what he likes and say you specially prepared for him, engage in healthy conversation and devote some time in prayer, meditation. You will get answers. All the fingers are not of same size. Engage in some studies, have a positive mind.

vinayak22 · Nov 11, 2013

Thanks Vijaya di for replying. I was reading online novel sitting alone in room and feeling sinking. hope i find answers for my prayers.
Thanks

orchidgb · Nov 11, 2013

hi

some people are reserved, some are calm, some are wierd and some funny.... some are jollu and some people are loosu. we cant do anything. try to understand his nature and mood and act accordingly...

jeera2013 · Nov 11, 2013

Dear OP,
According to the book 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus', Men retreat to the cave once in a while to get the space they need. Retreating to the cave means they are just finding some 'ME' time. It can be for anything like solving an issue in office, thinking about a new investment or just to take a break. The author would have explained that this behavior is more common in men as their brain are structured that way. They have a greater awareness for their need of space and time.
Dont worry. You keep yourself occupied. Enroll in some online courses. Learn a new craft. Go out and explore.
Your DH will return back to normal after he get energized from the ME time.

RadiantFlower · Nov 11, 2013

vinayak22 said: ↑

My problems seems to be never ending.
Its been more than 7-88 days, i felt my husband is not talking to me much. On friday, he came from wwork, sat on laptop, had dinner and same- didn't talked to me.

I complained him in normal tone that he has no time for me, he should realize Iam alone home all day and when he comes home , he should atleast talk to me.

He started behaving more weird and not talking to me since 2 days. I am getting more angry but i too don't want to approach him. he came once to tell me that i have more ego than him.

i have no friends relatives here to whom i can go and spend some time.

I have been quiet since 2 days. This silence kills me. he would just stay quiet but wont come come and talk and try to find ways out. Everytime he does same if i expects something. Instead he would stop talking and would expects e to come.

I feel his behaviour is too weird. he never pampers me and saying sorry is agianst his rules.
what to do? how you guys patch up?
Click to expand...

OP,

Right now, you're acting too needy and clingy around your husband - those are not attractive traits. That's exactly the kind of insecure behaviour that repels him.

You need to learn to be happy on your own...only then will he seek you out.

rachaputi · Nov 11, 2013

Arrogance..

Try to sit and discuss, instead of being silence or quarrel.. Silence doesn't clear the issue..

ardhra · Nov 11, 2013

Oh dear hugs to you hugsmiley I am feeling as if I am reading my own story only difference is I am working. Initial days of marriage was filled with unknown silence.. Grave silence. We never quarrelled though...

This is what I did. Once I found out that DH was a good person, I started concentrating on my work, lots of novels, lots of music... So there was no time left to feel depressed. Then when DH noticed that I was not dependent on him for every single thing, he changed all by himself and now speaks to me whenever possible

If your DH is a nice man then just be on your own for some months.. He will surely come around console1

vinayak22 · Nov 12, 2013

Dear ardhra,

yes, i can feel that situation have been better if i would have been working. Now, i am totally dependent on him. I don't know if he is nice or not. I never speak ill about his family, nor demands for any gifts (though i expects). he was earning 20k when we got married and still not gud financialy but i always understands financial conditions but i feel so sad when i just asked for his time and for that too he started avoiding me completely. During such time i feel he doesn't care for me or love me. Today he just said, we both will try to change. He never consider it as his fault.

ardhra · Nov 12, 2013

vinayak22 said: ↑

Dear ardhra,

yes, i can feel that situation have been better if i would have been working. Now, i am totally dependent on him. I don't know if he is nice or not. I never speak ill about his family, nor demands for any gifts (though i expects). he was earning 20k when we got married and still not gud financialy but i always understands financial conditions but i feel so sad when i just asked for his time and for that too he started avoiding me completely. During such time i feel he doesn't care for me or love me. Today he just said, we both will try to change. He never consider it as his fault.
Click to expand...

Ok, this is what I can tell you... You are the better person to judge the situation as you are the one who are facing the problem... We all here can only give you ideas... How to implement them totally depends on you

If your husband -
1. caters to all your basic needs either on his own or after you demanding
2. does not tell all the x,y,z details between you both to his parents and siblings
3. does not have any bad habits
4. has a matured behavior for any situation
5. is giving you enough freedom...

then you will not have to worry... If you give him enough time, he'll definitely come around

Otherwise, little bit of talk between you two without involving others and without letting the emotions overflow will surely help..

All this will require you to be composed and open enough to accept the truth and generous enough to give him the space in which he feels secure and normal.

All is in your hands... All the best :thumbsup