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Second child or not!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by ppriya182010, Oct 22, 2013.

  1. Oct 22, 2013 #1
    ppriya182010

    ppriya182010 Gold IL'ite

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    I am sure there were threads started for this question. Me and my DH am at the cross roads right now. We have been trying to discuss about this for a long time now.

    My DD is almost 4.5 yrs and now I feel its high time we should make a decision once for all. I am working and always wanted to take a break, but due to visa issues, never got to take a break. But deep inside I know I could have quit if I really wanted, but just couldn't do it. Our biggest concern is finance (in case if I quit) and ofcourse the additional stress with another child.
     
    ppriya182010, Oct 22, 2013
    ppriya182010, Oct 22, 2013
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  2. Oct 22, 2013 #2
    Chitravivek

    Chitravivek Platinum IL'ite

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    Op: Do you think you and your husband can do justice to the second kid and treat him or her the same way as your first? having or not having second one is individula choice and if you think you can raise the new one equally and are mentally ready for one more then you should go for it.. But it needs to be a mutual decision from you and your husband and not just one person wanting it...
     
    Chitravivek, Oct 22, 2013
    Chitravivek, Oct 22, 2013
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  3. Oct 22, 2013 #3
    Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    Hey Priya,

    I am on same boat, have 3 year old DD. We are not able to decide on second child. Like indian parents my ILs and mother wants now a second one. Some times I feel we are not ready for second one (my husband says straight forward 'No') and some time I feel this is right time to have second one (but confused if I would be able to take care of 2 with job) as my DD turned 3 now. I don't want to leave my job for financial security and don't want to stress my DH .
     
    Priya4oct, Oct 22, 2013
    Priya4oct, Oct 22, 2013
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  4. Oct 22, 2013 #4
    malathi0874

    malathi0874 Guest

    hi friends,
    iam also in the same boat, every time my husb comes from abroad na, i discuss such things with him, he says every time, we decide it later, now my son is in 6th std, iam aged 36.
     
    malathi0874, Oct 22, 2013
    malathi0874, Oct 22, 2013
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  5. Oct 22, 2013 #5
    ppriya182010

    ppriya182010 Gold IL'ite

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    Priya4oct, thats my exact thought. Both me and DH thought no more kids for a while ago, but now we are kind of confused. In your case, your DH says no. But in our case, both of us are confused, we are not able to decide for sure and we know we are running out of time. I am in early 30s and DD is already 4.5 yrs.
     
    ppriya182010, Oct 22, 2013
    ppriya182010, Oct 22, 2013
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  6. Oct 22, 2013 #6
    ppriya182010

    ppriya182010 Gold IL'ite

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    Chitra, in case if we ever have another child, I will vow myself to treat both kids equal. I have gone thru partial treatment growing up and know the pain of being the unfavorable kid. So that part I am sure. And I understand it should be both DH and mine decision. Usually my DH relies on me for big decisions and so far everything have worked out that way. But this one we both are confused.
     
    ppriya182010, Oct 22, 2013
    ppriya182010, Oct 22, 2013
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  7. Oct 22, 2013 #7
    Chitravivek

    Chitravivek Platinum IL'ite

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    Hang in there Priya... Think thru how your life will change having a second one and are you really ready for it... You still have time as far as your age goes but yes your DD is already old.. May be you and your husband juts need a open talk about this.. Sometimes talking a lot on topics givs more clarity and vision... I am expecting now and of course I am scared how things will turn out when my LO comes but I would not change a thing now.. This is what we wanted always and we ar so ready for the chanllege... Things will fall in place is what I have always believed...
     
    Chitravivek, Oct 22, 2013
    Chitravivek, Oct 22, 2013
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  8. Oct 22, 2013 #8
    malarg

    malarg Senior IL'ite

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    I have only one son, not planning for two though finance is not an issue.
     
    malarg, Oct 22, 2013
    malarg, Oct 22, 2013
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  9. Oct 22, 2013 #9
    ppriya182010

    ppriya182010 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks friends. I just got carried away with one of our friend pregnant with second one and my DH acting all sensible and understanding.

    Well.. the act is all up in the air now. He called to tell something about upcoming India trip and all hell broke loose. Had a huge argument and now I realize he will be always his usual, I will never learn my lessons. All his acting understanding was probably so I will be all nice to his folks. My trip misery have started already. Can't keep up with acting for long rite... Anyways I think I have done injustice in bringing one child into our marriage and dont want to do one more mistake. Why is life so complicated.
     
    ppriya182010, Oct 22, 2013
    ppriya182010, Oct 22, 2013
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