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It happens only at In-laws's house

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by coolpinky, Mar 6, 2013.

  1. DGcreative

    DGcreative Platinum IL'ite

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    Some more gyan from MIL to me:

    All veges have to be washed thoroughly after cutting. Tomatoes can be used unwashed:bonk

    When I have my P, she will also not do pooja at home, but I have to continue with my work, cooking, cleaning, washing....Just that I have to ask her for supplies like oil, masala which have to be transferred from larger jars to everyday containers, I shouldnt touch the larger Jars.

    Her DDs MIL is cruel if she has high BP & yet wants to take care of her grandson....what if she gets a BP attack while alone with the child? My MIL is otherwise fine doing all sort of cleaning, climbing high stools to hide her secret things in lofts...but she is bechari not able to take care of my son & so he has to stay at creshe.

    While visiting SIL's place her MIL shouts her DS for not talking to his MIL. He comes & talks to her & so he is well mannered. My DH should stay as far as possible from my parents.....does it suggest his lack of manners??
     
  2. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    Don't worry...I stopped touching my inlaws feet a long time back. I touch the feet of all other relatives:coffee
     
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  3. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Do you think its advisable???? Next she'll conquer the remote and break for next 100 mins and give me lectures on what all SHOULD have been NOT DONE to avoid her bitterness towards me and my family... how much raw deal she nd her son has from this marrg.. .blah blah.....

    I wud any day prefer to leave room than share same TV with her and her sermons. She's a PHD holder for saccharine laced comments akka compliments.
     
  4. anjananathan

    anjananathan Platinum IL'ite

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    i was just joking..

     
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  5. Scorpio707

    Scorpio707 Platinum IL'ite

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    This is definitely an interesting thread...and I'm glad to contribute now...well my dear MIL is not short of doing crazy things at all ...some of them are

    • Mixing cooking oil and gingili oil and lighting the lamp daily...ask me why ??? Cos gingili oil according to her is expensive, so mix them both...long lasting as well as cost cutting...:bonk
    • Watch only devotional channels in the night, discuss with her son the next day about how people should act at old age...be holy go to temples blah blah:bowdown but when alone with me is only interested in talking about puberty, menstrual cycles, intimacy between husband and wife...worst part was mentioning her First Night to me...I believe she was very innocent...LOL.....:rotfl
    • In the kitchen - strew all the veggies on the floor, coriander and curry leaves with and without stalk all over...peeled onion; knife would always be placed next to it...container one side - lid on the other side, keep all the drawers open, cooks for 4 ppl but all the utensils would be out...all the switches ( light, exhaust fan, induction stove etc )would be on, fridge half closed.....phew
    • When someone calls or appears at the door step, a standard dialogue that she says is 'Take that persons name and say I was just thinking of you today morning/afternoon...and was telling myself I must call you or come see you and there you are'.... such a liar .little would they know that all her time goes in thinking about her two sons...cos they are her 'World'.....
    • In the same context when attending funerals of relatives/neighbors weep like she was the most dearest to so and so...then wait for an opportunity when there is a crowd and seriously say ' I had a strange feeling the last two days and I was hoping and praying to god nothing bad must happen to anyone.. I was telling my son or DIL that I must visit 'dead person', its been so long....oh god why did this happen I could not meet only:cry:'....and I will be wondering which theatre academy did she attend in life to act so well.....:thumbsup
     
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  6. adimad

    adimad Silver IL'ite

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    thanks all of you... this thread is such an emotional support. As I read through each post, I can feel deeply what each of you is feeling. It gives a sense of not being alone and being able to pool in and share all our strength put together :)

    You all are right, not letting ILs behaviour affect us at any level helps a lot, especially during pregnancy when we are more sensitive emotionally.
     
  7. adimad

    adimad Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks Padmalatha.
    I cant tell you just how well I understand what you must have felt!
    Exactly same brainwashing thing happened with my husband.

    background: We go to doctor visits together here in Australia and doc told HIM more than me that I shouldnt bend and to take care of the sitting, getting up positions etc and that I should avoid stairs as much as possible. Its not a big deal to avoid stairs here as everywhere there is lift, escalator etc.
    So my DH was sooo particular about making me follow every instruction and didnt let me climb even 1 step!!
    Now comes the India trip- in my 6th month. in-laws place is on 2nd floor no lifts and its 4 flights of big steps like flats in India usually have. So I tell DH - how will I manage there? He says dont worry - no need to stay there. Anyways main reason the trip had to be made in spite of pregnancy was my sister's wedding. So he said u stay at your parents house, which is 20 min drive away and on ground floor.

    MIL called 1 hr before we were leaving for airport to "order" us to come straight to their place from airport after the 18 hour journey, no matter how I am feeling, and her exact words to me were "So what if climbing stairs is forbidden by doc, it will just be painful for you - why cant you bear pain"
    I ignored it all and as planned, I went to my place and hubby to his place alone after dropping me.
    Dont know how he was brainwashed but the same person who would get angry if I climbed 5 steps to avoid waiting for a slow lift in Australia said this to me on the phone after 5 days of staying with his parents -
    "Whats the problem in coming once just to meet them - its only a few stairs more than what you sometimes climb even in Australia, Anyway its not harmful for the baby, just painful for you - the pain will go away after some time"

    I can easily ignore in-laws being openly insensitive as that is what is expected. but listening to this from DH, who was with me listening to doc's advice, is very hard to take. It broke my heart.
    Although now after coming back he has apologised many times and accepted he was nagged so much by his mother for 5 days that he lost his senses and believed the only way to end it was to make me walk up the stairs to 2nd floor once! and he saw no other way out than to say that to me!

    ILs have so many tactics to make husband wife fight. But dont worry, its in your favour that you live far away and can keep working on making your relationship stronger and hopefully one day our DHs will learn to use their head and stand up for what they think is right and not be influenced so easily.
     
  8. adimad

    adimad Silver IL'ite

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    What was their reaction to it? did they let it go easily?
    My ILs will most probably make my HUSBAND's life hell over it because I can practice the art of ignoring their dramas but my husband cant.
     
  9. adimad

    adimad Silver IL'ite

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    :rotflhahaha I just remembered when I unknowingly pissed off my MIL, and it gave me an all new way of having a laugh watching her get pissed off!!

    1 week before going to India, I posted an FB status "cant wait to spend time with my family after 2 years!! tag - my dad, mom and sis"

    Later DH told me it was in top 10 in her list of complaints that I posted that for my parents and not for her and FIL !!! I just find that kind of objection on what I post on MY FB hilarious :2thumbsup:

    :goodidea:Now I have FB to post statuses that will burn her :twisted:
     
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  10. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    My husband had seen how I had been treated during and post pregnancy. He has actually never agreed to it. I don't care what he thinks. During the initial days of our marriage my dumb inlaws expected me to be like the bahus they show in serials...doing pooja, seva for inlaws and thank my stars to be married into such a great family! I never followed their rules. I have lost a lot of mental peace because of this. I could have faked doing pooja but I am just not that religious.
     

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