How to control my MIL who is very careless and unhygienic in handling my newborn

It is very difficult to get some older women to understand such matters. Their defense usually is: "I have raised 1, 2 ... 10 kids and they all turned out OK didn't they? I know what I am doing. You young people make such a fuss over everything!" It is unlikely that you will succeed in persuading your mother-in-law. Besides, you cannot very well tell her in no uncertain terms that she has poor hygiene! If you try to be discreet, your requests lose a sense of urgency, if you are assertive, you will become a disrespectful daughter-in-law. This is a no-win situation.

If you like your pediatrician, then take him into confidence. Tell him, privately, what is going on. Ask for his help. Tell him that your husband is not paying attention and you need his (the doctor's) help in making him (your husband) understand. Warn the doctor that your husband is likely to take medical advice seriously, but will probably ignore your entreaties. Ask the doctor to be emphatic & not mention that the request came from you. Next time you go for a regular check-up for the baby (schedule one!), take your husband along and let your doctor emphasize the utmost importance of hygiene / hand-washing and proper handling of an infant while its immune system is still developing.

After this appointment, get separate towels, napkins and any other accessories you need for the baby. Develop a ritual for how you manage her hygiene, feeding and general care & handling. You don't say to your husband "don't do this with the baby!" - on the other hand, you say "use this steamed towel!" / "use this talc in the baby-basket" .... see? Criticism will not work, but clear alternatives with a pre-fashioned 'procedure' might!

Jaundice / hepatitis is no fun!
:cheers

 

hi

better idea given by one of our il friend. follow it religiously.

 

Talk to ur hubby he may understand and explain to his mom. If not tell urself to her what the doctor had advised maybe she will agree. I think ur doctor should tell to her because she is the caretaker comes to handle the child why the doctor advised you? Doctor should explain to her how to handle the child more hygiene.

 

Few child had yellow color eye lid after few days of birth then it will disappear so don't afraid that it is jaundice. Expose the child to mild sun light for 5 to 10 mins it will disapper don't worry. .

 

Tell your Mother In Law that doctor told that baby's immunity is very low and needs to maintain things very hygenic and also tell her doctor has advised to use sanitizer before touching the baby, as ur telling in general. hope she gets the clue.

 

try indirectly telling your mom so that your MIL can get it.. you and ur mom follow it before her ..

 

Instruct your mother to greet your MIL and immediately handover a soap and towel when she enters the house. Say Dr has warned strictly. Do this to everyone who comes to see the baby. I am sure some scenes might happen, but tell your mind that you wont care about anything, except baby for now. Stop expecting your DH to understand you and all. For now its baby,baby n baby only. Don't let postpartum depression set in. Happy motherhood.

 

Hey congrats for new motherhood and you lil baby.

I have a similar MIL, who can infact keep sitting with child pee, poo, vomit, wait for it to dry and simply scale it off, never wash hands even after touching a mop cloth, H also finding no issues cos he's equally messy and is raised by such a mother and hence thanks his stars for his immunity levels matching that of a sweeper.

No matter how bad xyz feels, I keep putting sanitizer on her and kids hands and the moment she drops her fav mop cloth I tell her .. Pls wash hands, if she picks something I tell her, I'll do it, pls wash hands first.
All my kids hospitalizations and worst infections have happened during her visit.

Whenever she wud make formula milk in a messy manner, I used to take bottle from her throw it off, get a new sterilized bottle and re-prepare it. Her logic was, we don't need to over do, else the kids never develop immunity.

Running away is not a solution... esp with a parent worshiping son, you just need to get as adamant as them.

 

congratulations. is it possible you take your MIL to doctor next time and doctor tells all hygiene conditions to be maintained wrt to baby in her presence. if doc tells this may be she may follow it. you tell her baby is delicate and infections spread easily and we all at home wash hands and legs before entering baby room so plz if you can folllow it.