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Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by nellaigirl, Oct 1, 2013.

  1. reemap31

    reemap31 New IL'ite

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    Dear,

    Please don't stay with him anymore. He might be life threatening sometime.So save your life. Grab your important things your certificates,proofs of marriage and even the copies of rental agreements etc what all things you think necessary for your future.Please have a check for anything combined financials are existing like joined bank accounts, Fixed deposits/ loans and try to find a way how to save your money.Find a good place to live and dont live alone with your friends will be safe.In future if he is calling you back check its intensity and if your are sure that he really need you approach a lawyer he will definitely guide you. Please try to make good contact with your parents they will help you .
    Be brave and do not lost your courage.
     
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  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    A man who hits a person with a belt is a psychopath. He will do the same to your children. Even when you are 60 yrs old...he will be there with a belt in his hand.

    Don't waste your precious youth on this scum of the earth. You are independent...you have absolutely no compulsion to stay in this abusive relationship.
     
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  3. varah

    varah Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Nelaigirl,

    To me, if a man who beats a women, is not a "man" at all. Your post sounds like you already tried ways to mend his behaviour and attitude. Actually, Your situation is quite serious. I wish you call up elders to your home and discuss through the issues but i am sure there will be blame game and so much drama. Many Indian women are going through physical abuse thinking things will be fine one day, i also did go through that phase. But the hard truth is it would never. A abuser is ALWAYS a abuser. There was even a post on those lines. What do you want to do now? Do you want to still save the relationship? Or just get away ? You need to decide. Trust your instincts. Once YOU decide we could help you further what to do. Only you would know your sutuation better.
     
  4. mayavindra

    mayavindra Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    The reason for his indifferent behaviour would be many.Why don't you and your husband go for a counselling before he hurts you further.Try to understand what his problem is.May be he could have married you because of the pressure from his parents or may be he has got some weakness.Just take a decision quickly by going for a counselling.

    Rama
     
  5. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Please leave him NOW, darling. If he beats you he is never going to change. Instigate a domestic violence case against him and find a god divorce lawyer. Once you leave this loser you will certainly get the life you deserve. All the best!
     
  6. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Leave him.. He has some mental problem
     
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  7. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Well your parents know that your H hits you and they are still leaving you with him! Very strange.
    Now H can boldly hit you again knowing that your parents will just talk and go back home leaving you to cook and clean for him.
    Keep all the medical reports of treatment of your head injury , it will help you in case you and your parents think of taking a stand.
    Hope you have a job.
     
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  8. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    run away from this marriage
     
  9. rathiprasad

    rathiprasad Silver IL'ite

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    You have to think for yourself seriously and take a decision while keeping in mind that your husband is never going to change unless he goes for serious remedial counselling.

    This kind of behavior lies dormant and when triggered the whole cycle of beating starts and gets repeated. The fact that he refuses to give you the due affection and respect bears out his character.

    From your post it indicates that your parents are either preferring to ignore the seriousness of the situation or don't realize the suffering you are going through.

    You have to stand on your own feet and think seriously what is best for you now and in the future. Do you want to go through your whole life suffering like this? Be courageous and do what you think is best for your future. You deserve happiness in your life and it is up to you to ensure that you get it.
     
  10. susan123

    susan123 New IL'ite

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