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Suffocating....

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vidhi1979, Sep 30, 2013.

  1. Twinkel

    Twinkel Platinum IL'ite

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    Live life in your terms. Be happy to make things cheerful to your kids. Have your own to-do list charted out and make yourself too busy with them to giver your mil a look. Forget that she is at home. Only thing you need to keep in mind is, you need to cook for one person extra ;-) apart from that, you can forget anything and everything related to mil...
     
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  2. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Only time can heal emotional pain.You can ask homeopathy doctor or family doc for some medicine to reduce stress pain.
     
  3. vidhi1979

    vidhi1979 New IL'ite

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    Thank you ppl,
    That was so nice of you that u took out the time to go through my post and provide me with the suggestions. Thanks a ton.

    Actually after my second baby, I had some hormonal surge and had panic attacks for almost 2 months - even during the day time i.e. whenever I fell asleep. Fearing the same, I DID NOT lie down almost for 1.5 months. I had to sleep in the couch sitting. I was at my mom's place. And I was taken to a psychiatrist for the treatment. He simply said it was due to hormones and underlying depression. It will gradually fade away - ofcourse with some pills and all.

    His suggestion to me was 'forget everything and move on with your life.' But this is just not happening. I have my lifestyle set in such a way that I always keep moving around DH and kids.

    Still trying to work out on some income source..... And yes, I am expecting my husband at least to come forward and explain why his mom spoiled my life. :)
     
  4. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Vidhi, am sorry about your struggles but really cudn't control :rotfl :rotflafter reading the above line.....
    If you get any such confession in this life..... do let me know.... we might need to drag them to truth serum and record every details of what the mother - son duo blurt in that room.
     
  5. sumalynux

    sumalynux IL Hall of Fame

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    I agree shilpama, even i felt like :eek for her expectation....

    Vidhi dear, sooner you agree and accept the fact, that your husband
    will never give up his parents, and never agree they are bad and wrong,
    soon you will be able to overcome past and find PRESENT Life and you
    will be able to find Peace and Happiness....

    Dont forget you are hanging to past and loosing current life...
    Find a way to move on.... Life is too short....
     
  6. smritisinha

    smritisinha Platinum IL'ite

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    My MIL has told this to me several times:

    Blood is thicker than water.

    With a warning to never forget this saying. Its truer than I might trust it to be.

    And the harsh fact is that it is indeed the only truth we need to remember all our lives.

    Dont look / hope for your husband to come to you and accept / explain his parents faults. Never going to happen.
     
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  7. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    you are going on the right track " ignoring your MIL" and concentrating on your kids, but why these panic attacks, the more you think about her the more stress u are undergoing. Life is short! don't make it hell trying to take revenge on useless MIL who till then succeeded in making your life. Even when she is around take care of yourself and try to be happy, pamper yourself and your kids, lastly you alone is responsible for your happiness, believe in it and be happy.
     
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  8. GodIsOne

    GodIsOne Gold IL'ite

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    Have you tried counseling?

    Some wounds are so deep that it might take forever to heal. A counselor might be able to help you heal.
     
  9. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    (1) What is that we gain by holding everything from our past especially things that is unhealthy?
    (2) End of the day she is your husband's mother, the same unclean lady is a mom for the same you share your life with. Some level of acceptance has to be there.
    (3) Counselling options? Especially it is affecting your day today life and also your kids?
     
  10. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    I'm sorry to be blunt, but your doctor sounds like an idiot. Hypervigilance

    Hypervigilance - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    is a classic sign of PTSD. I'm not saying you actually are suffering from this disorder, but you do seem to have something more than just depression. I've never heard of any new mother not being able to lie down and go to sleep due to anxiety or panic attacks.

    I really think you would benefit from seeing a mental health professional that is qualified to properly diagnose and treat you. You need more than just pills that blunt your senses to solve this. Talk therapy is often extremely effective in cases like this. In other words, talking to a caring, sensitive, empathic professional will repair the damage your so-called family have done to you.

    Stress, depression, and anxiety attacks won't just go away, especially if your triggers (your MIL) are all still present. There's no point trying not to think about it, because your body will thwart your efforts to bury the problem. This is why you're having physical symptoms in reaction to mental stress. Please take your health more seriously, and don't wait for your husband or anyone else to do something to help you. You owe it to your child to solve your problems yourself.

    Do you have a sister or best friend who can help you find the treatment you need? You need to enlist the aid of someone who will respect your need for confidentiality, and won't turn this into a big family drama. You don't have to live like this, or suffer like this, alone. It's just a matter of being proactive, putting yourself first for a change, and not believing you are a helpless victim. You can do it.
     
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