Maids or slaves?

Hi Kamala,

The incident that you had quoted is very pathetic.

There are people who treat servants as slaves and on the other hand i c people treating the servants like family members...

Back home in India my MIL treats the servant like a family member. She gives food (everyday) with whatever side dishes she prepares, gets new dresses during important festive seasons & at times salary advance etc. Even when we go to India for vacation we get something for her like we used to get for our people.

But as puni said coin has two sides. There is a saying "evlo panninalum nanri kedaiyadhu". That has happened with my friend. How much ever she cares for her servant, her servant used to crib and keep gossiping.

In general, the lady of the house should be understanding and the servant should be faithful at the same time. After all we are humans.

 

Hmmm a sensitive topic.

We have been treating our domestic help very well and have seen this since childhood...at my mom's place no one has worked for her for less than 10 yrs atleast. The current help is also with her for almost 22 yrs now.

At my in-laws place too we've had help working with us for long yrs.

- we never have the habit of giving them stale food or cooking separately for them they eat what we eat.
- my full time maid also has almonds with us in the morning and what ever fruit etc we have she also has.
- whenever she has a fast she prepares her food separately..no one says anything.
- she is free to listen to the radio, watch tv, take a nap in the after noon
- she uses only clinic plus shampoos, lux soap, parachute coconut oil, colgate toothpaste etc....her list is long.
- she is always up to date, matching and latest clothes, and wears slippers in the house (we don't always)
- when ever she cooks a dish well...it is appreciated by all of us...but when something does not turn out good, we are not supposed to say so...she does not like that.
the list is quite long...so i'll end here.

Inspite of all this she is unhappy....you have lot of work in the house...i am slogging the whole day WitsendWitsend. Mind you many of the jobs are taken care by us...as she dosen't do it properly.

Past 3-4 weeks she is on leave and the house is running as smoothly as ever...with all the things in place, house is pretty neat, things don't spoil...cooking is to the mark...no spill overs of the meals etc.

Forgot to mention...if we go out for dinners she also comes along...we don't leave her alone at home. But she always keeps saying we are not treating her properly bonk

Last month she told me...i wan't to leave this job, we said fine and agreed to it. She thought we will say don't go and all that...then after a few minutes she couln't go back on what she said...so then she said that later i have to take up job somewhere and blah blah blah...then i said you want to continue to work here this is what you will have to do later also...don't complain. Now i am waiting for her reply whether she want to come back or not...i am happy both ways. If she comes most welcome...if not good my BP will be in control.;-)

 

Dear Krithika,
Yes, it is a real good topic. I hope you read my blog almost on the similar topic;
Maid Amaivathellam - IndusLadies. You know what, those people who have got a maid, have never thought or felt that they are lucky. As my mom says, dont just keep going on and on and give charity, instead just give them to those who help you. It is very bad to deduct salary.

My current maid is a real boon to me. Infact her SIL worked with me a few months back and now she have come to work with me. The main reason I am patronising her is she helps me a lot and she really have a smiling face. My kids too like her which is most important for me.

She comes as early as 6.30 in the morning so she gets her share of coffee, yes coffee made of the first decoction. And when she leaves by 8.30 she gets 2 big glasses of Kanji, apart from the morning tiffin for the kids and lunch for her hubby packed from my home. Pls dont think I am boasting, but as I am feeding her family, she is ready to stay with me for some more time to help me out. she does not mind coming back in the afternoon to help me clean the vessels, (for which she is not charging me extra), again she takes home the rice that is left from the morning cooking; infact I keep an extra cup specillay to give her. Sundays are definitely holidays for her and she really appreciates that. Thus I have solved my maid problem too.

 

In America, the closest thing to a maid is a babysitter, nanny or lawn maintenance person.


I babysat as a teen for extra spending money, I hate to admit this but usually the Indian families are the rudest and most inconsiderate. There was one family like that. They didnt get along well with others. For instance, one time I was asked to babysit from 3-10 pm. Around 10 pm, I waited for the parents to come back. I waited for 15 mins. The kids were in bed. I called the lady. She started making excuses and asked me to stay till 4 am because she's waiting for her husband or some lame excuse. I was upset because first of all she wasnt respectful of my time. I was 16 and had school next morning and 3, my parents wouldnt like it. I explained that to her and she was unreasonable.

I couldnt leave the children alone. So, I call my parents and explain the situation. They called the couple. Fortunately, the lady was not too drunk to drive. My father told that lady that I'm 16 and I have school and secondly, its illegal to have an underaged person work overnight. (Actually the law says that an underaged person 16 or under cannot work during school hours or more than 8 hour shifts). My dad twisted it a bit to get me out of there. The lady said they'll come in half an hour. Dad tells them they better or they can call the police for that. (Dad used that excuse because he knew that couple was new to America that didnt want to get into trouble with the law. So they come right away.)

Dad comes to pick me up and waits with me for them. The couple comes and the guy grumbles about inconvenience. They pay me and we leave. I never babysat for them again. babysat for another Indian couple and American families. Generally speaking, non-indian families are a lot easier to work with. I never had a problem with them.

That doesn't compare to treatment of servants but the mentality is not changing. Seriously, I agree. I heard stories of servant & maid abuse. That is ridiculous. I'm suprised that educated people treat servants like that.

 

Rani well said BowBow

The problem is in everyone's mind.. that mentality has to change..