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This is Life

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Sep 16, 2013.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    This is Life


    150 guys from Aurangabad , got together and bought 150 mercedes from the company in a deal worth some 60 crores in 2010. Read this, and see the grin on the faces of the buyers.


    Aurangabad: 150 Mercs sold at one go ? NDTV.com Photo Gallery

    Then things soured a few years down the line. Bad roads and potholes made people put their cars in the garages for they don’t find the Indian roads worthy of Mercedes. Read it here.

    ?Potholes force Aurangabad?s Mercedes club to stay indoors - Times Of India

    ​Potholes force Aurangabad’s Mercedes club to stay indoors

    Mohammed Akhef, TNN Aug 29, 2013, 05.08AM IST
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Tags:
    AURANGABAD: Three years after the city vroomed to global fame when it picked up 150 Mercedes-Benzes in a record bulk deal, the cars have largely gone missing from its roads, parked as they are in the safety of their owners' garages. Fearing damage and dents to their dream drives, the owners said they cannot risk them on Aurangabad's potholed roads.
    Many owners TOI spoke to said they regretted their decision to buy these premium buys as the pitiable condition of roads has ensured they cannot take their cars out for their commute to work or simply a spin around town. A few owners have switched to their other not-so-premium cars in their fleet for their daily commute, while a couple of them have already sold their high-end luxury cruisers. Some owners are negotiating an extended warranty period with the auto giant.

    Indian roads are not meant for these kind of fancy cars, and automatic gears will just not work. I guess these hightly learned chaps , don’t understand the basics of life, eh !



    Micheal Douglas and Zeta Jones

    These two got married in 2000, she younger to him by 30 years or so. It was hyped up bollywood marriage. What caught my eye then was their prenup agreement , it had a few clauses that raised my eyebrows .Here are a few.

    1) For every year that they remain married, she would get I think 2 million dollors
    2) For every time micheal was caught with another woman, and proved, the penalty was some 5 million dollors. There would be no divorce, just the penalty !!!!!

    they aer separate now, and seems she has gone to a top notch divorce lawyer, who is known to get their clients a lot more than their agreements, but who take a cut from the receivable. Wish Indian ladies were as smart , and u would find men behaving well.

    Let us see what the future beholds , should be interesting.




    I watch a little bit of news at lunchtime, and these days it is about Ganpati. We saw, Rishi kapoor getting out of his car, with a small ganpati in his lap taking it home. Well , RK is himself looking like Ganpathi, a well fed one at that, and the ganpati in his hand looked like his grandson.

    I remember Raj kapoor used to have big Ganpathis, something like 20 feet or so, and the procession used to be taken out from RK studios , with the whole film industry accompanying it, and today, a small ganpati has replaced it, bad times eh ! Half the RK land has been sold off to private builders, what times eh !!!!! I have stayed in Chembur for 10 years, and I have seen the processions as a kid, these days ones aer nothing.

    And now every tom dick and harry is keeping a ganpathi at home, and it has become a status symbol, and friends and neighbours are invited. And there are two invitations, either for Prasad, or for full dinner, veg of course. Well I don’t go, what is the use, for Ganeshji himself comes to visit me, why should I go to visit him at friends homes eh !!!

    People are using Ganeshji as a networking thing too eh ! our staff keeps a fast on these days, and these fasts are expensive, for u have to eat fruit and sweets only, and both come expensive. Borrow , but must keep Ganeshji !!!!!!




    To round it off, let me finish with Modi. Everyone is going gaga over him, and expecting him to perform miracles for us, many expect him to make our militant neighbours pee at his name, and other miracles to happen.
    I am looking at his arrogance, yes we don’t have a better choice, I know that, but I feel Modi , even if he becomes the PM, may not complete his term for the following reasons.

    1) He is too arrogant, and in coalition, u have to be humble like Vajpayee, and carry everyone along with u. Modi is like a railway engine, moving fast and mowing down anyone coming his way.
    2) A frog is good in a well, but may not be good for the sea, where the big fish can eat u anytime. Modi may be good for Gujerat, but to rule India, let us see.

    I want modi to prove me wrong, for I too want our country to improve from corruption of this unpreceeded scales, and one scam follows another, where the PM says he is not responsible for the files, where he does not know what tenders are floated, what scams are taking place.

    But I wont be disappointed if modi fails, for he appears to me too cocky for his own good. Remember dear friend, the same people were fawning over Anna Hazare a little while ago, and today they are over u, the pubic is very fickle Mr. Modi, don’t bank too much, the adulation they have for u, is too scary.

    All the best to u.

    KAMAL MAHTANI


    Male Wish list:
    Wife to Look & feel like "Miss Universe"
    &
    Work like "Shanta Bai'
    .
    Female Wish List:
    Hubby to earn like Ambani
    &
    Behave like Manmohan Singh !!




    Do we know actual full form of some words???
    ��News =
    North East West South.
    ��Chess =
    Chariot, Horse, Elephant, Soldiers.
    ��Cold =
    Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease.
    ��Joke =
    Joy of Kids Entertainment.
    ��Aim =
    Ambition in Mind.
    ��Date =
    Day and Time Evolution.
    ��Eat =
    Energy and Taste.
    ��Tea =
    Taste and Energy Admitted.
    ��Pen =
    Power Enriched in Nib.
    ��Smile =
    Sweet Memories in Lips Expression.
    ��Bye =
    Be with you Everytime.
    share these meanings as majority of us don't know these. 




    Teacher: What do we call the people living in Turkey?
    Santa: I don't know Sir.
    Teacher: They are called Turks.
    What about those in Germany and Spain?
    Santa: That's easy sir... they are called Germs and Sperms respectively.



    No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between "complete" and "finished". However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, and attended by some of the best linguistics in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese was the clever winner.
    :rotfl

    His final challenge was this. Some say there is no difference between "complete" and "finished". Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand. His response was:


    When you marry the right woman, you are "complete". If you marry the wrong women, you are "finished". And, when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are "completely finished".


    His answer received a five minute standing ovation.:rotfl
     
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  2. superwoman09

    superwoman09 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Kamalji,

    Today am writing only about the addons. I liked the full form and did not know many of them much to my dismay. Also loved the difference between Completely and finished. A very nice "completely finished" ending to your post.
     
  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dea r SW,

    Thanks for the first FB and a good one, so what if u liked only the jokes, at least u liked something, that is fine with me.Yes a nice ending to the blog .HAHA

     
  4. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Tough subjects Kamalji and what a spread....mercedes to asaram to modi. I agree about the cars - I have often heard my relatives say that dents and scratches are only expected :) asaram, let me be honest, I glossed over it completely and Modi I am also watching with interest I hope he makes the difference that people expect hits make. Though I am not pro congress or anything, I do feel that such a young and vibrant country (recently read that 75 percent of our population is below 30) we could use some young leaders showing the way they think we should go ahead.

    PS : Did you read abot Indian American winning the Ms.America contest?
     
  5. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabita,

    yes i read about that indian girl, and she says , she is american, and we call her indian origin.HAHA. i am confused.

    The roads here are useless for these fine cars, god knows why the rich want to flaunt all these cars, and then cribbing.Serves them right.

    Regrds

    kamal
     
  6. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear kamalji...
    the state of indian roads is so pathetic.. I always say in Bangalore we drive on potholes with a few meters of road in between if you are lucky... they are constantly repairing roads and in a few months the same potholes appear with vengence so one wonders what materials these contractors use?
    I remember traditionally the first ganapathi in the visarjan procession which would pass laminton road to go to Chowpatty used to be from Santaram's studio and then the next RK studios and at around 4P.M it was Lalbaug cha Raja.. only after all these the others would follow.. used to love watching the procesion from our bldg terrace..
    About Modi.. well I guess the country needs a change.. but Is this the change we want???.. well the choice is so limited.. but I do agree with most of your points.. specially about the frog in well..
    I simply loved your "completely finished" joke have forwarded to so many..
    Kerman
     
  7. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kelly,

    What use these expensive cars on ou rroads, but some people have money, and ego, and serves them right.

    Yes that joke was good, and many more have come, i dont know how to post the videos that have come in, about the lady with no hands changing the diapers of her baby, and doing other chores, i just dont know how to post those here.

    i send u the new video of the lalbaugh ganpati, where the bouncers are mishandling rather manhandling the ladies , shameful, i woul dnever go there again ever, or to any other ganpati, i would just pray at my hiome, than be subjected to this torture and humiliation. Guess the public too will never learn, what to say further.

    So i have completely finished replying to yr comments. HAHA

    Regards

    kamal

     
  8. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Good jokes Kamalji.

    As for Modi, bad news for the country I think. We do not need a communal fanatic leading the country. Public memory as you say seems to be very short. They do not seem to remember the word "Godhra". But I am sure the whole world does and the day he becomes a PM, India will become a pariah in the international scene.
     
  9. kylie

    kylie Gold IL'ite

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    dear Kamalji,

    The full form was quite interesting - didnt know most of them !!

    Agree - Modi isnt a great choice for the country. Hope the citizens choose wisely.

    Poor Mr. Kejriwal - he is almost forgotten between Modi coronation and Rahul's possible ascension!! I guess his Aam Aadmi Party is too aam for the both the janta and the political opponents.

    So now the country will have to choose between 2 bachelors - one who is so eager to become dulha that he has already arrived at the mandap without either "aam sehmati" from his parivaar or his baraat being ready and the other so reluctant that he has to be literally pushed towards the mandap to be convinced that finally his big day has arrived! Lets see what happens - picture abhi baaki hai !!

    regards,
    kylie
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Satchi,

    Remember Anna Hazare, and the euphoria, and what happened ? Same is happening to Modi, it is scary all this adulation. i guess time will tell, though i have my doubts, let us see.

    Regards

    kamal

     

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