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It happens only at In-laws's house

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by coolpinky, Mar 6, 2013.

  1. taanisharma

    taanisharma New IL'ite

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    good idea ..............i just hope after telling this they will not ask for papers
     
  2. beanstalk

    beanstalk Gold IL'ite

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    Hahaha... You guys' oats incident reminded me of something. I am very health conscious and to add on to it my husband is overweight and has been trying to reduce weight forever. He has made very good prgress on our diet programs. But anyways she was here and we were eating regular food but out of habit I use smaller quantities of ghee/fat during tadkas. She then gave me a good advice... Dont eat too little fat, fat is needed for body especially joints.

    Though its partly true, a 0 fat diet may be bad, but Indian cooking has tadkas in everything and then intrinsic fat in things like milk, butter spread on bread, dals make up a portion too. I felt like saying look at your family, you would have enough fat on your bodies to live off for a month even if I put all of you on 0 fat diet.

    She reads things and easily molds it to fit her situation even when it does not apply.

    And BTW anybody who is nice and slim including me and some acqauintances, it is not because we control what we eat, cut on junk food, eat smaller portions or healthier meals. No... Its because these people are small boned and metabolism is better. Once again partly true for some people, but there are others who watch what they eat, exercise and take measues to keep in shape. If they tell her so, she will say yeah, but it is because of your genes, metabolism and bone structure. Sometimes I felt like saying how do you explain old pictures when you or your sons were similarly slim? You suddenly became big boned?

    Gist I got was when you are alone cut out fat, but when they are here add extra because thyebcare about taste not health andif they are not concerned, why should I be? I still dont add insane amount but learnt a good lesson.
     
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  3. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    if they ask for papers your sis can say that she is a family..(as her ils said)and they are her family now she will have to give proof to her own family to prove her point (very sweetly :))

    I guess I am not wrong here. as you told that her husband never wanted these matters to be discussed with your father as they will come to know that inls are asking her for money so I don't think they will go forward on it..here she can say that if she asks for papers I will have to tell them everything..
     
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  4. ramyav_cse

    ramyav_cse Gold IL'ite

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    Dont yoy think your parents should be inviting your SIL's PIL as well...if not in person, atleast send an invite by mail.
     
  5. satyasrinivas80

    satyasrinivas80 Silver IL'ite

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    Part of my dowry was in bonds/investment during my marriage, and my dad told the same to my MIL while giving the balance amount along with the bonds. She openly rejected to accept the bond and said bring me the money right now as I'm can't wait till that investment money comes to my hand.
     
  6. tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    What rubbish! You should have got her arrested. Why should your father pay any money at all?
     
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  7. satyasrinivas80

    satyasrinivas80 Silver IL'ite

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    Actually, before the marriage got fixed they told my dad to deposit the dowry money on my name but everything changed on the day of the marriage. My BIL went and asked my husband that before marriage you guys said the dowry has to be deposited on the bride's name but now your mom came to FIL(my dad) and making a scene. For this my husband responded.. Yes, give the money to my mom because she(me) is the daughter and DIL to my mom. (My husband is an only son). My dad and all of our family members were speechless when my BIL told this.

    On the side note: During the marriage proposal, they said the dowry is only for the sake of name because the others will ask about it. Otherwise, we don't need dowry at all. These were the exact same words said by one my husband's cousin.. who fixed the marriage.
     
  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    I am sorry to say but they are really shameless . How can anyone respect such people. They should all be in jail.
     
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  9. mani22

    mani22 Silver IL'ite

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    you can even say it is blocked in some fixed deposit kind of thing n u cannot move a penny out of it...
     
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  10. killerontheplat

    killerontheplat Senior IL'ite

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    After harassing/demanding/negotiaging for dowry, my in-lawskept insisting that this was only to please elders in their family. They, themselves, were “modern” and didn’t really believe in this (This was a lovemarriage and DH was apparently against the whole dowry business). Also, anyway this was only for the kids’ (DH and mine) future and they dint need anything.

    My dad insisited on giving about 2/3rd of the money in cash and rest as fixed deposit in my and DHs name.



    Now the great irony:

    1) My dad was pressured to reveal dowry amount to elders in their family as only the amount being given in cash

    2) The cash that was supposed to be saved for myand DHs future was spent on wedding preparations (clothes gifts etc) for their sides functions (all common functions were organized and paid for by my dad). Not a penny was left for our future

    3) Now come to the FD. FIL first insisted he had seen a very good property in which he wanted to invest for our future. DH refused(as we were studying abroad and would need that money sometime).

    4) Since above excuse dint work within a week he said he was having a financial crisis and needed money and our help. DH said he would think over

    5) FIL now got despo and went on defensive. He said for our wedding he too spent a sum of money from his pocket (not my dowry) and that should be returned by us. So the FD also had to be liquidised and sent.



    Recently I overheard that they did buy the investment property. I asked DH how did he buy it when he was in financial crisis? and he had no answer (DH nowcalls them only from bathroom.)

    Furthermore they insist that their other son helped them to buy it and so he will be nominee for it.



    DH still expects me to love and respect them and believes that they are faultless
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2013
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