My marriage is falling apart

minniemouse · Jul 31, 2013

Vacation from what harrassing me for the last 6 months. He has said so many sorries and crying and regretting and relapsing that this time it is so bad he cannot face me. His sister talked to me so rudely yesterday. She was making jokes with H inspite knowing that marriage is ending. I cannot go and buy chocolates when he is leaving me and my daughter without any notice. He has responsibilities mortgage to pay. But no. If I forgive him now, he will repeat the exact same thing in the many years to come. I am hopeless.

Rakhii · Jul 31, 2013

minniemouse said: ↑

Am I taking the right decision?
Click to expand...

A loud and clear YES. You are taking the right decision. What can one do if they dont acknowledge an addiction. let him go. Dont apply for divorce. Wait and see what happens in 2 weeks.

mapleleaf · Jul 31, 2013

Has he left his job?? Is he planning to come back? Sorry don't mean to pry on your agony.... The only reason i am asking is he should not cause you and the little one more emotional stress by coming back in a few weeks/months completely dependent on you , more frustrated than now and with an entitlement attitude (he could use love for your daughter as a tool to emotionally blackmailing you into taking care of him).
Any kind of addiction is bad, some lead to unbelievable agony and anxiety to everyone around the person addicted. You have fought an impossible battle , it's now time to take care of yourselves. Talk to a lawyer at the earliest (even if you decide to take any action after a while).
Take care of your health dear, your daughter needs her mommy to be fit and fine. I hope and pray you find peace and happiness in the coming days.

Endlesshope · Jul 31, 2013

hugs. I really hope that he going to India will make him realize all his follies and he' ll come to you a better person.

shama146 · Jul 31, 2013

I fear going to India will make him any better human being. It's so because he is not willing to accept that the problem lies within himself. Such persons are very difficult to change.

if the only prob with him is alcoholism, then try all means which are available to get him rid of his addiction. This is also possible if he willingly wants this.

What i can suggest for you is that just see how he behaves when he comes back from India. if you can't cope any further with his behavior than obviously it's better if you part ways. But try your level best, if you can stop his addiction.

vathsala30 · Jul 31, 2013

why dont u take him for councelling as most of the people have benefited from that.

nicegirlradhi · Jul 31, 2013

minniemouse said: ↑

Thanks Anu. U know I dont know why I posted this post. I wasnt even sure what I was looking for. I needed some supporting words. I am devastated at this point. I know my marriage is ending. I dont want it to but it is. I never thought it would end this way.
Click to expand...

OP, hugs to you and your kid

i know it might be very painful for you at this moment, but please accept the fact. Do you want to continue with a husband who is always happy in drinking and deny help? do you want to stay married to the person who laughs and jokes when his wife is torn apart and heart broken?.

Please stay strong. let him GO.

anika987 · Jul 31, 2013

well dear..u r the one who needs to go to India.No point sitting alone here with DD.go to India,be with ur family,clear ur mind.get the right support.If he changes,then yes else u got to decide otherwise.

ragha81 · Aug 1, 2013

I am a severe alcoholic myself. My son was born recently and I have cut down a lot. I hope to completely get rid of the habit soon.

The problem with your DH is he does not acknowledge the problem so it is hard to quit. It is hard for me to quit even after acknowledging the problem. Good luck with your life. Your kid doesn't deserve this for sure.