I regret my life!

Dear OP,

I want to ask you something....

1. Don't you love your hubby??
2. You don't trust him....why??
3. What u did in 4yrs of your married life ???


You know what....we plan something and God has another plans for us....so trust Him. I can very well understand when u found out pregnant....if you were not mentally prepared for it....how your relation with your dh. Did he provide any help for your job search?? right now....i can only say don't cry.....go with flow.

 

Hi Silentscream,

Please don't regret ur life....There are many people who have started off late 2 work & still have a successful career after having kid....
Think positive in everything dear,concentrate well on ur health now as u r pregnant ..........
Most of the ILS are like yours,so don't worry....She will b talkin just the opposite to ur co-sis that u r better than her....
Since u have completed ur graduation after ur wedding as u had so much interest 2 learn ,I think that u can also start 2 work after the birth of ur child......
Prepare yourself to build ur carreer,motivate urself ,u will definitely succeed in ur mission......try 2 grab each & every opportunity available....now its time 2 b strong & be happy Silentscream!!!!!!!!!!

 

Dear op,

First of all, congrats for your pregnancy. You seem to see the half empty glass instead of half full. Come out of your negative thinking & see the positives in your life. You may think it would be better to have a good career first then go for family, but every person's destiny is different. God has given you this gift dont be unhappy about it. Take good care of yourself, think happy thoughts & care for the baby. After that start your search for jobs, till then you can try for some online or at-home work. Come here often & read the in-laws threads, you will learn how to tackle & ignore your MIL

 

congratulations for your pregnancy.the past we cannnot change,but we can struggle for bright future.try to seek every chance,you will find the most suitable life for you.

 

Silentscream,

I am getting the impression that you were not happy with the marriage to start with.
Let's see the positives you have.
I assume you are around mid 20s(Age is with you.).Already pregnant.So many of our IL friends have been trying to get pregnant since some time,still unsuccessful.Please value that blessing.Already Green Card in hand.In US ,you will get endless opportunities.Thank God for the above blessings.

You do not like to be dependent on husband...but you will change that .Nobody can stop you from doing that.
I cannot trust him blindly...why ? Did he do anything ?
My life will go downhill ?Only if you allow it to go ,it will take a nosedrive.Lot of ladies go for higher education and then work after pregnancy,so why can't you ?
Why do you care if your MIL compares you with others ?Does it matter ?

Compare yourself with the less fortunate ones who are in much worse situations...then you will understand the importance of all good things you have been blessed with.

 

Silentscream ,

Its never late to start a career. Try persuading your husband to get you into some short duration courses which can get you a job. Here i know few ladies who were in home initially and did short courses on hospitality and are making good money now . Try finding out market demand there and pursue accordingly. And congrats on your pregnancy dear. Time to keep yourself happy Do not worry on anything. Every problem has a solution. God has plans for you.

 

Dear Silentscream,
Pl. don't worry. God 'll guide you in the right time and show u new prospects. Right now, feel happy that God blessed you with a wonderful bundle of gift ie. your baby. He/she will bring good luck for you. Things will change. Don't brood over the past. Think about the present and be happy and cheerful as u're carrying. A day will come when your dreams will come true. Don't think that these are simple consoling words.pl. have hope on You and You can achieve anything if only you have the strong will and wish. Never feel demotivated when u hear negative comments from your inlaws.
God bless u! take care!
Regards
Vidyavisu.

 

Hi silentscream,

This is the similar story of many women,highly qualified or not, doctors,engineers who get married and come to USA on H4 visa and have to wait till they get the EAD or GC. Much valuable time and energy is lost by the time this happens. You are not alone in this process.

Having said that does not mean that you should not regret about this, but in your given situation, you think what best can be done out of that. You have two major things to deal with at hand :

- Pregnancy
- Job/Financial independence

Deal with one at a time.

You have 9 months till your baby arrives. Use this time to study and get qualified, however short the course may be. I have friends who have got into software testing by doing a 3 month course and doing mock interviews and getting hired. You need to plan.

OR

Go ahead and enjoy your pregnancy for the time being and postpone the thought of job etc. Build up a good relationship with your husband (even that needs time ), take care of your health and focus on baby.

If you regret and worry, you are nowhere. Be glad that you have someone to talk to like an online forum atleast. Many of the women do not have even that access.

Good luck with your choice.

 

I can understand your pain... but wanted to narrate this to you

There was this guy who continuously cribbed he din't have footwear and had to walk in hot sun... and another guy comes along and says you are cribbing you don't have footwear and look at me I lost both my legs in an accident and i don't have feet to wear footwear...

Look at the the big picture dear... if your husband is taking good care of you, you should not worry about anything...

Your MIL's comparison and taunts have two reasons... one she doesnt have a heart... two you are letting her do this to you... everytime she taunts you ... your face tells them that you are hurt... this is the success factor for them and will keep doing it over and over again... be absolutely cheerful in front of them... mingle with everybody open heartedly.... cheerfulness is contagious .. no one wants to sulk being with a cheerful person... change your outer personality a bit and you can see the differnce.... stay updated about current affairs and all .. participate in any intelligent discussions around.. listen to others .. contribute... all this will make you feel better.

and take very good care of your lil one... Good luck to you dear...