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Having so much pain inside

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Dreams, Jul 8, 2013.

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  1. Jul 8, 2013 #1
    Dreams

    Dreams Junior IL'ite

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    I am writing this post with so much pain inside, I have lost my husband few years back for cancer , working and living alone in US, I have ok relationships with my family , I. Call them every weekend, as I would be busy during week days, today I talked rude to my sister and also to her husband that they are not doing anything for me not even going and talking to marriage buros which they keep on saying they go and talk to marriage buro and give my profile, but not doing. For that they have a reason that they can't trust those beuros, waiting to get some match from family and friends contacts , and that won't help because we don't have many contacts that they also know.


    My situation is so painful a and I can't beg for help and I don't know why to do, I have created my profile in Bharat matrimony which is not helpful, not able to find any good matching profile, I don't know If I am expecting too much for second marriage should I marry 40 year old who has kids not looking good, I am 33 I know I am not young, and my family says come back to India but I know if I go there also they don't do anything , I have to live my life suffering and seeing all my sisters and cousins with families -at least here I didn't see them regularly, I am not feeling bad that they are having happy marred life, I am only feeling why my situation is like this ... Really worried about my life and future, what If it goes like this for one more year then I will be 35 and o use if I get married also... Want to write so much but, not able to .. I am crying so bad....
     
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
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  2. Jul 8, 2013 #2
    Memories

    Memories Senior IL'ite

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    Don't worry dear.God will definitely have a great plan for you and your wedding will happen at the right time with the right person. Meanwhile for the time being, concentrate on yourself and try to become happy.

    here are some of things you can try:

    Join a gym - if you are not doing it already
    Take dance lessons
    Get a body massage
    Pick a hobby that you love and become an expert at it - like painting/baking etc
    Get your photo's done professionally and update your matrimony profile.
    Get a new haircut and facial
    Get a new wardrobe and upgrade yourself.

    See your sis may be busy with her own life.You should start looking proactively at the matrimony sites.

    God bless!
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2013
    Memories, Jul 8, 2013
    Memories, Jul 8, 2013
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  3. Jul 8, 2013 #3
    Dreams

    Dreams Junior IL'ite

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    why No reply for my post, i thought i might have got some reply, whats wrong with me...did i write something rude even in online forum.....everybody is saying these days that i am talking very rude to people.....i do undestand that i am loosing my temper very easily ....i know i cant blame my situation for my behaviour which i am doing right now...i think i really need help.....
     
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
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  4. Jul 8, 2013 #4
    Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear dreams,
    Your post was NOT RUDE. During weekends, not many people visit IL.

    Sorry for what you have gone through.
     
    Anitap, Jul 8, 2013
    Anitap, Jul 8, 2013
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  5. Jul 8, 2013 #5
    bossomfall

    bossomfall Bronze IL'ite

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    First take a deep breath, relax & think.

    Venting it out is good, it helps, quite a bit.

    Crying will not help.

    You need to rise in for occasion.

    Get up. Be tough, everything will fall in place.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2013
    bossomfall, Jul 8, 2013
    bossomfall, Jul 8, 2013
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  6. Jul 8, 2013 #6
    Dreams

    Dreams Junior IL'ite

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    Thank you Memories...you dont believe how it feels to get even a nice word from someone when you are really bad state of mind. which i am feeling it now. yes i have joined gym go there sometimes, not regularly i have to accept...i will try to go regularly ...I will be ok in sometime....today feeling really ow
     
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
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  7. Jul 8, 2013 #7
    Dreams

    Dreams Junior IL'ite

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    Thank you Anithap, ya true weekend people will be busy.
     
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
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  8. Jul 8, 2013 #8
    Dreams

    Dreams Junior IL'ite

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    thank you bossomfall..will try to become more stonger, that is the only way i can live in this world...

     
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
    Dreams, Jul 8, 2013
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  9. Jul 8, 2013 #9
    OCdesigirl

    OCdesigirl Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry for your tough situation. Keep looking you will find the right person! Until then as memories has suggested try to keep your mind busy with other things.

    Good luck!
    Shobhna
     
    OCdesigirl, Jul 8, 2013
    OCdesigirl, Jul 8, 2013
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  10. Jul 8, 2013 #10
    internet

    internet Silver IL'ite

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    Dear dreams,

    I feel so sad for your situation. I hope you find a good partner very soon.

    I would suggest go to India and start searching on your own. If you are in India you can also push your sis to search for you. You have not mentioned about your parents. Most of them may not agree, but I think staying alone without spouse in US is very difficult. There is lot of loneliness and associated with it is depression. Start living in India and you will first get rid of loneliness. When you have many people around you, you can get over your trauma, you will develop interest in your life. Consult a good astrologer and visit temples to get peace.

    As every one suggested exercise, hobby, enhance your appearance and good photo should help you find a good partner.
     
    internet, Jul 8, 2013
    internet, Jul 8, 2013
    #10
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