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The weighty issues

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Dinny, Jun 28, 2013.

  1. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Today morning i read this article in TOI
    GoAir opts for female crew to save fuel - The Times of India.

    As i read it i almost FOCL (fell off the chair laughing ):rotfl
    Well the article says a low cost airlines has decided to reduce the number of men from the onboard crew.The reason being men are "heavier" than women.
    The logic just went tangential to my head.Now what next??? will they also ask the passengers to attend VLCC slimming classes before travelling in their airlines??
    And all this in the name of cost cutting....


    The words "heavy" and "weight" made me stroll back down the memory lane

    some years back......

    Grade 9
    Lucknow
    Army public school

    A science class was going on... Mr.Mukherjee (our physics professor) was teaching us "Newton's laws".Slowly the topic shifted from the newtons laws to "force".
    Mr. Mukherjee wrote a formula P= F/A.....meaning Pressure is equal to force by area...in short pressure is inversely proportional to area.So as the area the decreases the pressure increases.

    (NO NO dont worry you are still in Snippets-non fiction section of IL with Dinny...i dont intend to teach you science :twisted:)
    After explaining in detail about the formula Mr.Mukherjee said "now students prove this......"Ladies dharti pe bojh hain"....
    Well that sentence usually means "ladies are a burden on earth"....
    But here Mr.Mukherjee wanted the students to prove that "women are heavier than men".....sounds illogical right!!
    But wait let me give you his explanation.
    The explanation was simple..ladies wear heals...which are pointed...so have less "area" of contact with ground and hence through their pointed heals ladies exert more pressure on earth and hence they can be called "bojh" on earth....:spin:.....
    Sir was joking...and the whole class had a good laugh at his explanation.

    But weight is an issue with many.Many ILites here know that i had an issue myself 2 months back...well i was underweight...
    If I had applied for a job in "Go Airlines" 2 months back then they would have given me a permanent job :).(mmhhmm i just told you the airline was doing cost cutting and in order to reduce the fuel consumption they wanted "feather weight" ppl like ME onboard).
    How i wish i didnt have aerophobia, aviatophobia, or aviophobia....fear of being in a plane....:roll:

    Its a well known fact that adult men are on average 10 percent larger than women, with twice the muscle mass of women, and perform two to four times better in tests of strength...
    what were the GO airline management ppl thinking ????:bonk:

    I know the fuel prices are rising...(actually skyrocketing)
    Many companies are fighting to save fuel costs at any cost !
    But there is one company Reliance which is doubling up natural gas prices by taking care of the decision makers. People will suffer with higher electricity and transportation costs with just a handful of people gaining...errr not gaining weight....gain here is in terms of money.:)

    So IL ppl....time to sign off and this time i signoff Kamalji ISHTYLE (Kamal sir i hope you have not copyrighted your style of signing off with jokes :) )

    Diet tip:
    Tips to reduce weight: First turn your head to the right, and then turn it to the left. Repeat the exercise every time you are offered something to eat. :twisted:


    Cosmetic solution to weight loss:
    I found a lipstick that helps you lose weight…..it’s called super glue :biglaugh


    Chocolate dilemma:
    A member of a diet club bemoaned her lack of will-power. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she explained, and they'd eaten half of it. The next day, however, the uneaten half beckoned. She cut herself a slice. Then another, and another. By the time she'd polished off the cake, she knew her husband would be disappointed.
    "What did he say when he found out?" one club member asked.
    "He never found out," she said. "I made another cake and ate half"





    Weight Loss Tips
    • If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
    • If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
    • If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda
    People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas
     
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  2. Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

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    Dinny, lovely snippet. Liked the jokes too... if nobody sees you are eating, calories are not counted... :biglaugh:biglaugh :biglaugh
     
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  3. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    glad you liked my snippet and the jokes...thanks Pallavi
     
  4. BHAVNAM6

    BHAVNAM6 Platinum IL'ite

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    My dear Dinny,

    Oh my God,I wish I would have found you long time back.Hey, girl you got plenty of tips for my ever burning problem of weight issue. They are simple and easy to follow. And I could have fit in my http://www.indusladies.com/forums/s...461-my-new-gorgeous-outfit-5.html#post2573537 so easily....ha ha....

    I have been torturing myself with salads,soups and smoothie......Oh...now with your excellent ideas,.it feels so good.....I could eat any sweets I love....!!!!!

    I think your five minutes cake seems tempting. I would love to taste it if you attach with your snippet here ..

    Love,
    Bhavna
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Hey bhavna.....
    Thanks for coming to my snippet...
    I would love to courier you the cake but alas the courier walas here wont allow me to do that...
    I really wish I could attach the cake here.:)

    And bhavna how do you survive on salads & soups??? kudos to your will power and determination....
     
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  6. Priyaram170

    Priyaram170 Silver IL'ite

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    rofl :) :)
     
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  7. Angellic

    Angellic IL Hall of Fame

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    :rotfl:rotfl:...Good one...

    Loved the diet tips:thumbsup, chocolate dilemma :rotfl(rofl) & weight loss tips...:clap:biglaugh

    Hey looking forward for some tips to gain weight...;-)
     
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  8. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Now this will weigh on my mind everytime I travel. Already I am wary of the ability of those sticks (air hostesses) to help passengers during emergencies. Now this :roll:.

    I remember a snippet about charging passengers based on their body weight - i think it was our in-house "business ideas king" kamalji.
     
  9. mahesaran

    mahesaran IL Hall of Fame

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    Really laughed a lot about the cake...... You have brilliant sense of humour..... It's is a boon.... But I am having a boon to read and laugh .... Thank you that I will sleep with my smiley face and mood today....
     
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  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Dinny,

    Very humorous post. I had a chance to board a Russian aircraft several years back when A-320s were not used or a while to Bangalore crash. They started boarding the plane first in the front and then on the back to balance the weight and that scared the hell out of me. Well, international airlines have already determined what should be the size of the passengers by fixing the width of the seat. Nowadays, we can never be seated without touching the passenger next to you. If anything is served, we have to learn to eat them using fork and spoon without elbowing the fellow passenger. They are charging for almost everything now. Weight probably is the next way to make more money.

    I liked the joke about moving the head from right to left every time we are offered something to eat. What a simple exercise that would help us remain trim for a long period of time.

    Viswa
     
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