Frustrated with potty training

peartree · Jun 13, 2013

Hi Ladies

My DD will turn 3 in August end and I am really worried that she is still not potty-trained. She communicates very well every time she has to pee and has no problem peeing, but for the life of me, she won't poop in the potty :-( Giving her candy and little rewards seemed to work for peeing but I am having a very difficult time making her poop. I am at my wit's end! What's even worse is now a days she has even stopped telling me she has pooped in her pull-ups for fear of us asking her why she did not tell us. So unless we ourselves check, she just sits without telling us to change her :-( If I ask her if she has pooped, she'll run and try to hide in the other room. I just don't understand what to do :-( She got trained within 2 days for peeing almost 1.5 months back, but I am having a tough time with training her poop. Any advice will be highly appreciated.

I am planning to send her to pre-school come August, but with her lack pf progress with potty training, I am really worried. Her daycare lady also seems to be trying her best, but no luck. Please help me, mommas.

ramyaramani · Jun 13, 2013

@peartree Potty training is one of the biggest challenges. It sure can be frustrating. I would suggest you to stop asking her about pooping for the time being. Just leave her for 3-4 days. If she poops in her pull ups do not say anything. Just check her frequently and wash her without shouting at her. You can tell her it is ok this time, next time she can poop in the potty. It is going to take few days. Do not expect the same within 2 days. I potty trained by DD for almost 3 months. Today when she is not in diapers then she tells me every time.

Pre-schools dont necessarily require kids to be potty trained. So you might want to check with the pre-school.

yellowsunflower · Jun 13, 2013

@Peartree.. I can understand your pain.. but you can overcome this easily.. All that it requires is some wait period and calmness from your side. Just don't pressure ur kid on not doing as you expect. There is a one good idea which i used to do.. Make it a routine.. As soon ur DD wakes up and has something to eat or drink make her sit in Potty and let her be there and take time to poop. And make this as habit by repeating it at the same time of the day. like from bed she will be in potty.. I couldn't make her sit in potty she would run away.. So i switched on TV but she took more time on Potty so that she can watch TV... used to leave my DD in potty for almost 20mins. But now she has learnt to use it properly...

Now is she is fine... Dont worry and put pressure on her too... Patience pays.. All the best dear

Dinny · Jun 13, 2013

peartree

I would suggest if your child resists using the potty chair or toilet or isn't getting the hang of it within a few weeks then take a break. Chances are he or she isn't ready yet. Try again after a few weeks.

Rakhii · Jun 13, 2013

peartree, is it possible that something is hurting her when she sits on potty? Ask her, if she is afraid or if something is hurting her. If she says no, then i guess you have to keep trying.

peartree · Jun 14, 2013

Thank you, ladies.

Ramya and Yellow... thank you for reiterating to me that I need to be patient. That is the MOST difficult thing for me. I guess in my desperation, I get a little frenzied and keep asking my LO why she did not tell me she wanted to go potty. And my DD has this standard answer "amma, innume po maaten"... (I won't go hereafter). After that I keep asking her "anaa ippo en sollalai" (why did you not tell me now...) and she runs away!! She must be thinking "ayyo... escape" I guess I'll let her be for a little bit and try again!

Dinny, the only thing I didn't understand was that she was very easy to train for peeing, 2 days is all it took. But pooping seems to be a huge struggle.

Rakhii, I don't think there is anything scary to her about sitting on the toilet, because for peeing, she tells me and she has no problem sitting on the toilet. We have the lionheart potty seat and she is pretty comfortable sitting on it.

I guess I am just going to have to wait some more.

ramyaramani · Jun 14, 2013

@peartree Instead of asking "Why she did not tell" you can tell her "This time it is ok. From next time do it in the potty". This worked well for my DD. But it definitely took time.

peartree · Jul 11, 2013

Phew... very happy to update! DD is finally fully potty trained for peeing and pooping! While I was patient for the most part, it definitely took some "time-out" threats. But what worked for me was just stopping pull-ups cold turkey and spending about 45 minutes with her in the bathroom every 2.5 hours or so to see if she wanted to go. After 1 accident, she got pretty good of letting me know when she had to go. 2 days is all it took when I just stopped letting her wear diapers. Now, I don't let her wear diapers even when she's sleeping or when we go out and we have not had an accident so far while sleeping or when going out. So I am one happy mom

Thank you all for your valuable suggestions!

Chitravivek · Jul 11, 2013

Congrats pear tree.. I can see you proudly blushing around.. enjoy ! It is indeed a big achievement

peartree · Jul 11, 2013

Chitravivek said: ↑

Congrats pear tree.. I can see you proudly blushing around.. enjoy ! It is indeed a big achievement
Click to expand...

Thanks, Chitra. It is indeed a big relief it is for me. I was getting really worried because we are in the process of moving from Texas to CA and when i was calling pre-schools there to inquire for admission and stuff, the first question they had was if she was fully potty trained. Besides, I was worried about letting her have too many accidents in the house because we are just getting ready to rent the house and definitely did not want to be cleaning every time! Thankfully, the accidents were to a minimum. I very firmly believe that absolutely not giving in to letting her wear diaper was what worked wonders. I wish I had done it earlier instead of feeling lazy and just letting her be in pull-ups.