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Husband stare at other women, while going together

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sacredbell, May 23, 2013.

  1. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    A glance is ok , a reflex action, looking is intentional and staring is gauging dimensions of object.
    Married women dislike the DH staring at other women because it puts him in the category of cheapos .
    Nothing can be done, its an incurable disease , the H will stare at other women as long as he is able to see.
    The woman may not look very beautiful to DW but beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and earthy raw looking women are also stared at.
    Men who stare will stare at women , reprimanding DH will make him sharpen his skills and anyway he could do it when she is not with him.
    Is this the reason why some DH's censor DW's clothes? They don't want other men staring at their DW!

    Women who dress for others are insecure souls looking for attention.
    No one chooses clothes based on stares quotient.
    But women do try to wear good clothes and be the belle of the ball in functions.
    Foreigners are advised to wear clothes respecting the local sentiments of the country they are visiting.
    PS- A man will get his share of stares if he wears shorts for shopping if its not the local dress code.
     
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  2. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Sorry to point this out but these comments are exclusively your perception of women who choose to wear what YOU don't consider decent. At least you acknowledge your standards of decency are not objective or universal. The problem is that you are inferring what a woman's intentions are based on your own biased perceptions. If your perceptions are not objective, your assessment of why a woman wears what she does can hardly be accurate, can it?

    You make too many presumptions about women who wear shorts, none of which have any factual basis. For you your half-trouser wearing wife is decent, but for a Saudi man she will be indecent. Opinions are like ars*holes, everyone has one, doesn't make them true or worth anything.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2013
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  3. Reflection123

    Reflection123 New IL'ite

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    Thanks ..:) appreciate the reminder!! Hey but weren't you quite emphatic in a previous post that instead of paying attention to the husband-wife and the wife's feelings, we need to pay attention to the (dis)comfort level of the woman who is the object of the husband's attention and stare. We're only doing only what you told us to do that time honey....discussing not just her comfort level, but also the background and psychology of it. lol...don't mind--just kidding!
     
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  4. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    I would say please do not waste your time and energy in this thread. these endless discussions wont get anywhere. been there. done that. trust me. :)
     
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  5. Reflection123

    Reflection123 New IL'ite

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    got it--no one changes their ideas by such arguments at the end of the day :) ...but it was a little touchy to see so many people sort of almost unanimously together in classifying "short clothes wearing women" as someone we are absolutely not. But yeah----writing just anything here--will not suddenly change the thoughts of millions and millions of other people who will judge other women in the wrong way....

    I am just venting out here,...coz I feel a misfit among my friends back home in India. I mean there is a friend of mine---who actually told me "ohh I know you're the "type" who doesn't want kids--because you like freedom."---I just had an ectopic surgery, lost my baby and a tube after surgery, and it almost cuts my heart to hear from a friend in India that I must be happy that I am the type of woman who doesn't want a child, coz I want freedom!!!---how the hell can people tell me that....how do they claim to know me when they don't....what the hell do they mean by "freedom" ----just wearing some short clothes made me a cold, heartless woman who doesn;t want a family??? What else I am??? !!!!.........When I interact with people around me--and my pronunciations change accordingly...my Indian friends pelt verbal stones at my "newly acquired american accent"--- they really think the change in accent is for "Showing off to them" !! I don't feel like calling them up any more. I care to call them and remember them and that's what I get!

    Generally I don't comment at forums too much...I only write so much here when I want to vent out something or feel provoked. I want to ask even my friends in India....why are you sooo closed and stuck up??? I am only adapting to a situation in my life, a different culture-so changing accordingly--why do you pass cold hearted judgments on me??? Am I supposed to dislike people from my country because they don't understand me? You never saw your mom, sis, and wife...wearing anything different ----so does that give make a character sketch of me with your own imagination of a "freedom loving woman"!!! Yes, I love freedom--what does your wife love.....slavery in chains??

    Sorry for jijacking this thread and writing this post....if my friends back in India don't understand me any more .....how the hell will unknown people in the forum understand me----but it's good to be able to rant like this---open my heart up and fight with your heart...when you are anonymous and no one knows u !! Anyways...leaving my rant here.....please continue your important discussion about the wife who feels devastated by her husband staring at other women. Bye!!
     
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  6. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    There are two different things - there is only a thin line that separates them however:
    1. Dressing to look good
    2. Dressing to look hot & sexy

    Sometimes they can seem related. But the 'intent' is certainly the differentiator, albeit a very thin line that differentiates. It is an individual choice and hopefully one knows what one is doing.
     
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  7. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Gauri...nice. please accept my compliments on such effective communication skills:)
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2013
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  8. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    You are being wayyyyy tooooo generous with words :)
     
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  9. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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  10. KilaliAnju

    KilaliAnju Guest

    What looks good?
    Wha looks sexy?

    I heard about guys thinking wide woolen sweaters are sexy, specs, next men will tell you its not even good. Some men think lipstick is sexy some dont like it at all....

    If we women would think seriously about what men like and think its sexy it would be the most useless fulltime job in the world..

    (but i got your point, i just think its upto the person why and how she / he feels good and sexy)

    btw arnt those ultrashort shorts called hot pants? see a lot of girls wearing them.. a lot... specially younger ones, as its fashion.

    Its less the dress which shows the "intention" then the behavior i think, its not written on a gal what her intentions are.
     

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