Husband stare at other women, while going together

It's almost ironical that the people who think girls dressed in short dresses want strangers' attention are women who don't wear such clothes...or men!! I want to ask the fully clothed and covered women, who are they dressing up for---for getting attention from unknown stranger men?? No right!!...even the women who dress up well covered, do it for their own esteem..their husbands...and the people they know----isn't it?? So for whatever reason it is believed that the ones who dress up in short clothes have different priorities ---let me put it in clear words--NO, we also have same feelings about our clothes ..and we also want to look nice the way you want to look nice.....like fully covered women wanna look good, like men wanna look good. e

I would like to ask people...do you yourself wear oily nighty in public?? No right?? So in case you think women who do not wear oily nighties in public have some special need for stranger men's attention---what's your opinion about yourself?? Do you not dress up while going out--even in sarees??? Is it to attract some strangers' attention??No...right?? So why do you think a woman who changes from say payjamas to shorts while going out will have different priorities from yourself. The way you think you'll look good in what you are wearing...the same she thinks that she will look good in what she is wearing. And how do you know that other women don't dress even much, much hotter for only and exclusively their husbands at times when they are alone with their husbands.

A gentleman here raised the issue why are women's shorts tinier and smaller than men's shorts. Because WOMEN dress DIFFERENTLY than men. I wonder why have you never asked why do women wear sarees and men don't ---since women wear sarees which show atleast a little part of their body...and men don't have any such clothing in their wardrobe...would you classify all saree clad women too as attention whores?? You can ask the same question about salwar kameez too....salwar kameez generally has a different fitting than a typical man's outfit..because they are meant for a woman's body and not a man's. So all women who wear salwar kameez are attention seekers too?? Even women's jeans are tailored differently....why don't you get it.? the clothes are NOT tailored to make women attention callers...they are tailored to elevate a woman's beauty and looks in a different way than a man's. Women look nice in different ways than men...I know men who work out for hours..and build muscles and choose clothes that flash their muscles so that they look good themselves. they know the teeny shorts wouldn't make them look "cute" so they find some other way to look good. We wear the clothes we do, because we know we'll look nice in them...men don't wear them---because they won't, but they'll find something else that makes them look nice.

Yes,..I wear short clothes..for myself ..my husband...my society of friends and even potential aquaintances, people with whom I hang out, and also for an esteem that I get out of loooking good . People who want to think that all women who dress up in short clothes have "different needs of attention from other 'normal' ones " are simply trying to make themselves feel better---a man who thinks that a woman dressed up in short clothes wants him to stare at her---is only justifying his own act of staring as a mutual thing, when actually, mostly it is NOT...maybe for his own ego, he doesn't want to believe that when he stares at a girl, the girl doesn't care. And women who think that women who are in short dresses are seeking "indecent attention"....just want to elevate their own selves by judging other women in a wrong way.

 

@ Reflection: i like that you tell streight and honest what you like to dress like, i for my own dont like shorts but i appreciate your honesty and i think in lot of universities nowadays it is as you said quite normal to wear them in summer. If you feel comfy, go on

Why is it always the women who have to explain / justify / excuse for what they wear????????????

I remember there was a time when men whearent suppose to wear shorts too (lot areas still)... now they do... and we women dont make then sex-objects for that.

 

pyjamas look nice dear women are so changebale.. and ppl here sometimes look weird at me when i wear pyjamas instead of shorts... so its surrounding too...

coz these are lady-man.. totally different topic

ooohhhh trust me... i saw some women wearing sarees which where showing a lot.. some are quite diaphanous nowadays.... and now please dont discuss wether its better to see more upper or lower part of a woman... no matter what someone jugdges as wrong or right.. it doesnt give a free ticket to touch!

 

is the thread still abt the feelings of wife when h stares at other women?

 

Honestly speaking, I don't consider any way of wearing sarees as bad. It is a beautiful garment--but if we come to judging, just any piece of clothing can be accused of attracting attention in some way or the other. Women who prefer to wear burka or ghoonghat for the most part...have two choices. Either they can view other women, who wear salwar kameez as attention seekers---or they can gracefully accept the difference in choices and culture of different people, and can respect that salwar kameez wearing women have different choices and are comfortable with going out of their homes without hiding themselves. Same way, the women who do not like to show any skin in public...can either label the shorts wearing in a bad way, or simply accept--that we are ok with showing some skin that makes us look good.

Even a burkha wearing woman likes admiration from her husband, and her circle of friends ot whoever she hangs out with (even if they are only women she hangs out with).... even the salwar kameez wearing woman dresses up for her society and her beloved.....same way even the short skirt wearing woman wants to look good in the eyes of her circle, and her husband/boyfriend.....the way other women don't love to be stared at by random strangers, same way shorts wearing women don't have such desires. A salwar kameez wearing woman is more indifferent to what passing by strangers think about her than a burka wearing woman is....and a short skirt wearing woman is even more indifferent. But none of the three have any desire to be stared by random guys....they are just indifferent at their own levels!.when they dress up they might think about the compliments their friends might pay to them---or how much their guy wud appreciate them......but which normal woman on earth would think..."I should wear this so that I can get more unknown men to stare at me."....absurd--isn't it??

 

That gentleman being me......here is my take.....

My own wife has at least ten half trousers which she wears the same way you wear. In half of the photos in my IL Album she is sporting half trouser only.....but a decently cut loose long half trouser......having a decent height.....enough to come upto few inches above the knee.

There is yet another type of women's half trouser......the fit of which would be body boastingly. tight....and the height of which will be so less that it would be just few inches longer than an underwear.....(my earler post in this context was deleted by the Moderator saying that my words were inappropriate....hence I am at pains to convey my point in possibly appropriate words.....nonetheless I won't be surprised if this post also gets deleted). Let us call it 'ultra short half trousers'.

This ultrashort half trouser is repeatedly drawing attention of staring men.......men ogle at that part of her legs which would never be exposed on any other dress. The definition of 'obscene' differs from one to another. I agree. Personally, if some woman exposes that body part which is normally exposed only privately in front of her hubby only.........I call it 'obscenity'.

Knowing it very well....such an ultrashort half trouser is exposing too much attention, a woman wears it again and again.........still you want me to believe that she wears it to 'impress the women'only, not men ?

The feeling is something similar to 'power'. "Look , my body assets are so hot that all these nearby men can not control themselves....and keep staring at me....look, how special and daring I am".....this is what these girls must be thinking. At least an onlooker (both male and female onlooker) perceives so...

Well again, one can say, 'look IG...a woman dresses what she thinks as right.....not for the sake of what an onlooker thinks about it'

....the debate would be probably endless....!!

 

Just where do we draw the line...for u it may be short...but for others it's normal..in indian culture, men will look if more skin is exposed as they are not used to it..but in America, bikinis are considered ok.

Men are visual, they tend to look...but as I said earlier, looking is ok but not staring.

i noticed men don't look so much when I'm well covered up...with minimal make up. But I dress up for myself, not for others...and prying eyes invade my privacy when I dress up decent and yet get looks. If a lady dresses v sexy and expects men not to look (or only the right men)..she is deceiving herself.

Depending on where you are, I guess shorts are not considered sexy..they are casual wear.

 

Yes, I wear those very tiny shorts....and let me tell you how and why I started wearing those. I came from India...and intially I wore max knee length dresses and leggings like your wife does. Then I interacted with my friends here--I go to a college, in an environment where I see hundreds and hundreds of women wearing those shorts everyday---included my closest friends.....I wore my tiny shorts for the first time because after a point I too wanted to look good, or you can say hot, like my friends, my closest friends did---yes, that's how I started wearing my shorts, not with an intention to grab a random man by the roadside's attention--but just with an innocent desire to look hot like my other friends did and to win some admiration from them just the way I admired them. Once I also looked good and felt more confident......my inhibitions started to fall...and gradually now I am very comfortable in those shorts; like they are my second skin.

And let me tell you...once a person starts getting comfortable in some clothes,amd those clothes become an integral part of the wardrobe....the difference in figuring out the how short and long they are, becomes invisible to them. The difference in "relative decency" lies in one's head...not in the clothes. At a point of time, the difference in perception of "decency" in tiny shorts and knee length jeans becomes invisible in the brain, when you get very habitual and comfortable in both. Now when I go to say an Indian township---I continue to wear my tiny shorts as that's just a normal part of my life.......but the other Indian men and women might get disturbed. They are fine with American women wearing the same shorts, but in their head a lot of them can't accept an Indian woman doing the same. The fact remains invisible to them, that even though I am an Indian like them...I might not have the same family and friends culture as they have in their homes and social circle.

So in my mind, I am just wearing a normal piece of clothing that is just a regular part of my life, just like salwar kameez, or knee length clothes are a part of someone else's life....but they want to believe that I have some "special motive" of grabbing attention. The fact is--I started wearing shorts with a simple desire to get some admiration in my own circle of friends---the way I admired them when they looked hot in their shorts....a little boost in confidence...and my husband's admiration just motivated me to adopt a new way of dressing that gradually became a part of my life, and that's all. When was I thinking about random passer by men and women in all this?? They just concluded that I wanted their attention--but frankly they were never in my mind all through this.

 

Time to rent Julia robert's pretty woman movie and watch the "close your mouth dear" elevator scene.

 

About obscenity....how do we decide what parts are supposed to be "visible" only by husband..and what parts are supposed to be visible by the rest of the world. It's different for different people---Taliban might decide that a woman's figure should not be even reflected in any way to any body but her husband....another culture might decide only loose fitting, covered garments should be worn by women.........and there is another end where there is the nudist culture--nudist colonies.
I am not a part of nudist culture......will never be. Because it's my choice to draw my line somewhere. Other people can choose to draw their line somewhere else...we can pass any number of judgments on other people ----for someone from Afghanistan, even the fully covered jeans might be obscene and might reveal the shape of a woman's legs which might be a very sexually provocative sight for them--or else they could even call it "obscene". But that's what you need to choose at the end of the day....whether you want to believe that you are the only person who has made the right choice in terms of defining "obscenity"---or you can choose to accept that everybody has made their own choices, defined their own lines, which might be right in their own situations.