Am I Correct in feeling little Betrayed and Angry

Let me start to be frank.

You are too way immature.And that's very natural for 24 years old women.

What you are experiencing is real life.The life you had before marriage is protected life by your parents.
No one betrayed you.Period.Even you were in your parents place you would do the same things.No one can give 100% perfect partnerr the way you wanted.Not even god.it's simply impossible to meet other person expecatations.

What you need to understand,your husband truly loved you and he wanted to be with you that's the reason he had told that you can study in USA or he can stay in India.I don't think he did any gimmic there.

But lot of people do rethink there decisions was wise or not.And that's natural human behaviour.So he was thinking it's wise to invest in studies here or not.Are you going back to India????If so,then you might have different options to study there.Good thing is ,he is still giving hopes to study.In some cases the hopes also could gone for many reasons.

if you are planning to stay back here then you might find something where not expensive in your husband terms.
And also what is your traget plan after getting MBA???You need to plan your future instaad of blaming people around.

It's very important to develope positive attitude and looking forward attitude in life instead of looking backward.
As I see you have absolutly no problems in your life.So you will get one day good opportunity to fulfill your dreams.Just wait for that day.

So be happy and enjyoable.Whatever happened in your life is very common.

God gives small small kids cancer.So who betrayed them???So think we are not in that situation and still we have lots of hope and good future ahead.Don't get angry on me

Be cheerful.

 

Dear Asmita,

I went thought you earlier posts.At this point I can't tell what kind of guy your husband is???

Because you both are making mistakes.

Your husband::He is relocated to US and it's stressfull thing for anyone in unknown land.
And second Marraige::That's also very stressfull thing to handle a realtion that too other person thinking like she did a mistake by marrying the person.
So he is dealing to big things at a time.You showing that you are unhappy with your marrige and that could make other person insane especially then men could get hurt there ego.

So ,I would suggest first forget about your MBA at this point.Life is not about getting degress.
First work on the issues in your marraige.Don't blame anyone in the marriage.You married him .period.No one is responsable.Take responsability yourself.There is no way anyone could escape from house work.It's just training and practice.The more you get trained the better you are eventually in life.So start planning for things for the house.Especially in US,you have to work.No option.So just accept it.

And start talking to your husband in cool manner.First you start implementing some steps,after your put effort then he still acts abusive way then you think about his nature.Right now it's too early to decide on anything.

from your responses,he had anger issues and he drinks and smokes.It's very hard for a person to give up on those.Only thing I can see is he loved and worked hard.But most of times orginal habits will come back.

I think anything can be worked out if both people have repspect and love on each other.

 

Before I read the first reply, I thought the same thing- you are a bit immature.
You are just thinking about MBA and his promise. Why can't you think about the love he had for you? Anyone would have thought the same thing...you are anyway coming to a different country and it is better to do MBA there instead of in India when you have plans to settle there. Some degrees are invalid and of no use. After coming here, seeing all the expenses, he must have thought of a back up plan. Don't brood over the past that he promised this and that. Work with him and think calmly. Both of you are working... How much is your savings? How many years will you be staying here. If it is long term, then it is worthwhile to do it here. But if you are planing to go back in a couple of years...you have to rethink. Think of pros and cons and then decide. Think strategically instead of emotionally.
Your parents love you and trust you... Since you explained his profession, career plans etc, they must have thought you know your choice. One aspect you should think is you are their only child and they don't want to break your heart. Also since it was a new experience for them (match making), they must not be knowing about background check. (yes... My parents didn't do it for my sis or even me!)
Don't cry over spilt milk...just realize how truly blessed you are for having people around you to love you so much.


EDIT: I went through your past thread now and I see your husband is abusive. It doesn't reflect in this post, hence my above reply. If he is abusive, please ignore my reply and be strong. Don't take abuse lightly and stand up for yourself. Good thing is you are earning. Please be safe.

 

Dear Asmita, you are working and are on the payscale as your husband. His savings are yours as well. You have a right to demand half of it for your studies. If you need to, get a loan for rest and go for them as planned. He changed on his words, you don't have to. Also, please note that your MBA from US would count in India to a certain extent but MBA from India would not count as equal in US.
If you want it, go get it. Its your dream, take extra steps in fulfilling it.

 

wife would promise the husband something under the condition of relocating and after all is said is done back out of it, would not the husband feel betrayed? I dont see how feeling betrayed is immature. He promised you that you can do ur mba in the US and now he is backing out of it. Anyone can understand the dissapointment. As for wedding and marriage, this things are best not hastend but take time and thought about. Of course everyone knows it better when it is all to late,but that does not do anyone any good. About the mba, you should persue your dream and your husband should understand why it is so important to you. These costs did not just spike in high costs yesterday , so he should have been aware and planned finances accorfingly. I dont know if you already are aware of it but there do exists such things as scholarships, try applying and winning such. That might help you to pay for your schooling. Cant comment much on your mariatal situation but im sure others can help you better.

 

Just thinking loud here and correct me if I am wrong. Which school are you thinking about applying? I mean are they ivy league where it would mean that you would have to quit working and focus on studies alone? Also, how much is the fee?

My first thing would be (apart from what Priya said), why he is saying no now. Yes he made promises and all and yes he should keep them but situations change. I think you both are on different pages now. He wants to settle down, find a good home, perhaps start a family, take a vacation etc (just guessing as you havent mentioned much). With this MBA thing, you guys would be pretty much in debt, assuming you are going to a big school. Probably he is wondering whats the need when you both have good jobs already.

Its perfectly fine to have a dream. Now, you have to convince him why this is important to you and you have to come up with a more intelligent answer other than, "it was my dream" since the family dynamics changed. Explain how you perusing MBA will improve the pay, see how you can apply for scholarships etc

All the best.

 

Well, first of all, it is not your family's fault that things turned out this way. More than likely, they did and acted in the manner that they thought was best. So, you probably need to work out the issues in your head about blaming anyone else. Basically, it is what it is and the only thing left to do know is figure out how to fix things for the present and the future. I would say, if you want the MBA, figure out a way to do it. My first husband did not want me to finish school, and at the time, I thought " well, ok, this relationship is more important, and I can always finish later". Trust me, I fully regret not standing up for myself. SOOOOO......my advice would be to figure out what you want in life, and then figure out a way to do it. Do not sacrifice too much of yourself for a relationship that you are not that happy with anyway.