MIL and other family members saying bad things about you and you over hear

Hi OP,

I've been there!! I love what you are doing in not engaging with her but letting her stew over your lack of reaction!!!! Well done, you!

I overheard my MIL tell some random relative that my DH must not have bought our apartment in my name as then she'd have no rights on it. Of course this was amidst all the random spouting venom about me. A couple of days later when we were alone, I randomly started saying how much financial calculations I must do since *I* paid the down payment of *my* apartment(in our language, I ought to say our which would've meant she were included too in the our). *I* paid for the changes and tiles and kitchen. *I* am paying the mortgage. *My* parents did all the running around to get things done right when I was abroad. Subtly implied, *my* house is essentially my parents' and one of the bedrooms will be theirs for them to come and stay should they want to. Then said I was making tea, left the room and brought her some tea and biscuits. Changed the topic totally! Even now, about 6 or 7 years after, I refer to it as *my* apartment rather than our!! The look on her face tickles me no end

G

 

Sunshine, how about booking a vacation with your H at just this point.
You're at the right track and you need to make yourself unavailable for next few days... cos she's now trying her best to not just step on ur tail but crush it as well.

Simply disappear and let her bitch abu you to her hearts content.... and its indeed a great going.

Confront ONLY if, it has yielded into a positive result in the past.

 

It is a hurtful situation, no doubt, however having been in a similar position, I would say , just leave it a and rise above it. If your and H are doing fine and he is not involved in her pathetic behaviour and does not support her by listening, just leave it, it will be her loss as she will get more frustrated.
Go about your life as normal, just let her think you don't care about her opinion, that will bug her.

 

now its clear why she is acting nasty in such an obvious way -- to create a fight and spoil your mood, so that you wont have fun during the weekend. some people just can not mind their own business.

 

Have been there. Initially I used to feel very bad. Many a times cried too. But then found it is no use to me. So I started ignoring. Anytime I overhear some comments, I just pass by singing some songs, as if I didn't hear.

 

I agree.. one thing I have learnt is that confronting to in-laws is not a good idea. Confronting will help to clear mis-understandings or miscommunications. But your MIL is intentionally bad mouthing you. She is most likely going to deny having any wrong intentions.

When MIL does things like this to me , I firstly keep DH out of it and never pretend like i have a problem. With MIL& FIL treat them as if they dont exist. Stop cooking , cleaning or doing anything for them. Dont feel bad about cooking just for you, DH and kids and intentionally let MIL & FIL out. The idea is to convey to MIL that her comments and actions have repurcussions . When she talks of you as a "horrible, evil DIL", why should such an evil person do anything for her?

 

When everyone is present next time - you, husband, MIL BIL SIL, just mention to husband "You know I heard a great quote yesterday - If someone is talking behind your back, it just means that your life is far more interesting than theirs! Nice one right! I actually love it!!" :thumbsup

Otherwise, you're doing just fine not confronting them. They bitch, you taunt with amazing quotes like this:
1. Ignore the people who talk behind your back. That's exactly where they belong - behind you because you're far ahead!
2. Those you who talk behind my back - thank you for making me center of your world!
3. Can you hear those footsteps behind you? Thats not me. Its KARMA catching up!!!

And you can also forward some of these to your SIL! Or put up as facebook status! It will be fun :rotfl

 

many a times I overhear my mil bad mouthing abt me to my fil ...many a times telling lies about me to FIL...but I couldn't confront her as I know she would have denied everything...now either I should record everything ....but no use of wasting your energy...now I put an ear plug on if I hear anything like this....as you just lose your mental peace and nothing else....let them cook up stories among them and be happy...anyways they are not saying anything to me so why should I care and that much I know that they wont praise me...so what else I can expect from them...