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Confessions of a DIL

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by beingloved, Apr 11, 2013.

  1. kma

    kma Gold IL'ite

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    Same in my house too..but my sil is a very smart lady, she never lets me interact with her relatives much, and has a silver tongue through which she tries to manage good relations with everyone lying about each other behind our backs. But even this smartness is hated by her mil and when I went and was speaking in a friendly way to her mil, her expression was worth watching..:coffee
    She knows if I talk a lot with them, all her secrets will come tumbling out and tries her avoid that..anyway some such sweet moments make my trips worthwhile..:cheers
     
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  2. shantana

    shantana Platinum IL'ite

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    my bil's wife (my co-sis) had given birth and last sunday they did 7th prayers at their house. the prayers suppose to start at about 12 noon but i assumed they will start it later about 5pm. at 11.30am my sil called me asked me if im going i said yes and through her i came to know that the prayers starting at 1pm. she asked me to fetch her at her home. i told her i cant fetch her as im busy cooking for the kids and will need to feed them before going for the prayers and it will late for me. she sounded dissapointed but said ok. (serve u right, u think im a driver for u?)

    her house is about 25 mins drive away from my house and bil's is just nearby about 5 mins drive. furthermore i have struggle with 2 boys in car driving to her house. and she will make me to stop at town to buy fast food for her son. luckily my mil was at bil's house. i manage to go to bil's house by 1pm and they were just about to start the prayers. sil managed to get her dh's friend to send her and came at about 1.45pm and prayers were over. :cheers
     
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  3. TamBong

    TamBong Bronze IL'ite

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    ;-)A big hello to all my fellow DILs

    What a lovely thread :thumbsup

    Once my MIL crept behind me in the kitchen when my DH was busy watching a movie in his room. She generally attacks me with her free advice,opinions and what not when DH is not around coz she is this ideal MIL in front of him!
    So she creeps behind,scares me out of my wits and then starts telling me how for a woman career shouldnt come in her way of starting a family.!!! Now this was out of the blue coz I had not even been married for a year then. And even though I have a rocking career,I maintain a balance between both my prof as well as personal life. She knew my DH would never entertain such an advice coz he has already made it ver clear to her that we would think of starting a family only after 2 years of out marriage! I understood this was more of a taunt wherein she was trying to tell me to let my career take a backseat as her DD had done before starting a family!She even went on to adv me on how I shouldnt take pills if i was on any :shock: I was about to react but instead told her coldly that she neednt worry about this now and that I along with DH had already planned out things! And guess what she suddenly realized i might g running to DH and tell him what had happend! She told me a hundred times after that not to tell DH anything as he might not like it!! I anyway would not have but realized she was a lil scared. So just to irritate her a lil more i had this long face throughout the day which made her feel i was so upset that i mt go and blabber in front of my DH anytime. She tried being nice to me and trying to sweet talk me and al she got was :coffee
     
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  4. beanstalk

    beanstalk Gold IL'ite

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    Think I will add some of mine....

    1. When MIL starts with her lectures, I hear everything, but my brain registers nothing. I hear so intently but when time comes I do exactly what I want. Not hide and do, but do what I want in front of everybody. She used to be ticked off when she saw this. All the hours of lectured she poured on me and still no effect.

    2. When my MIL, tries to lecture me on other girls they saw, so good BIL does, what grades, what job etc, when should I plan children, how my career should be handled. She also has a tendency to lie and exaggerate. I go and pour out everything to my husband in one way or other with the name of the source I received this information from and how upsetting it is. After a while my husband goes and tells MIL not to talk about these issues or that why lie... She is embarrassed. I have effectively told her that any crap she dishes to me is promptly relayed to her son and she does not want to look bad to her son so she avoids it.

    3. She often lectured me about another bahu who was evil and behaved so badly with her MIL and how son could do nothing about it. After many repeated sessions I told her, have you considered that there might be a reason why son did not retaliated towards wife? She never fought, behaved ok, just stayed in room and out of her MIL's way to avoid problems. MIL seemed to be too sensitive and did not like husband-wife talk. If she treated MIL badly, its not her fault, its the son fault, who despite his wife's behavior did nothing. Why not blame the son? Why blame the wife? You know MIL's angle, not DIL's. I am a DIL though and I see her angle. Now she does not talk about this to me.
     
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  5. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    Sometimes I get the option to work from them which is a good thing because I can be around with DS more. However, MIL & FIL behave like I am on vacation and try to create new work for me even when it is things that are not critical. Even when I am working from home, I have the same work load i need to turn around in the day.

    So, last week I got vegetables for an elaborate Sambar recipe ( which is much more time consuming than usual as it involves making masalas from scratch, grating coconut, frying etc) and left it in the fridge. The next week,I was working from home and my work load got pretty hectic. We have enough things in fridge and I made some quick and easy recipes, but I could not make time for the Sambar. MIL was getting paranoid about the vegetables ( which cost less than 5 dollars) losing the freshness and was reminding me about the sambar zillion times as if it is a time-bomb that would kill all of us if not done "RIGHT NOW":crazy. If I explain to her that I have important work this week, and I will have to forget the plan to make Sambar for now, she will just not get it and this Sambar and not wasting the vegetables will way more important according to her than my jon. So, I decided not to explain -

    Day 1 - MIL : The Sambar vegetables are laying in the fridge, are you going to do something about it?
    ME : Yes, I am going to make Sambar tonight

    Day 2 - MIL : You have not made the Sambar, vegetables are still laying in the fridge, are you going to do something about it?
    ME : Yes, I am going to make Sambar tonight

    Day 3 - MIL : {Really irritated} Are you planning to make the Sambar or not
    ME : Yes, I am going to make Sambar tonight

    Day 4 - MIL : {Angrily as if I killed someone out of negligence} You wasted the vegetables. You didnt make Sambar. Vegetables have rotten.
    ME : Ohh really.. too bad :coffee
     
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  6. beanstalk

    beanstalk Gold IL'ite

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    Lol.... yeah... That's making the best of the wasting vegetables. If I could irritate her this way, I would purposefully waste vegetables every week. Yeahhhhh!!!!
     
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  7. snm1984

    snm1984 Platinum IL'ite

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    Lol for the time she wasted asking you to prepare sambar,she could have cooked it herself!Love the way you handled her reshsabu:)
     
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  8. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    Really, my MIL has some minor Obsessive compulsive issues. She goes paranoid and extremely restless if she has to "WAIT" for even one minute. E.g. We have arrang fed a driver to pick up DS from home to school at 8.50am. MIL starts standing out for waiting for the car at 8.40 and if she does not see the car until 8.49 ( sometimes due to traffic issues etc), she wants me to call & check. I tell her that, letz wait till 8.55 atleast and call if they dont show up. But she is too restless for that. Once the non refundable flight that we booked for MIL & FIL was rescheduled and they had an extra 2 hour wait because of that. MIL was driving us nuts saying that it is so difficult & inconvenient etc and there is no way she can wait thaaaattt long. She suggested us to forget these tickets and let go whatever it cost and buy new tickets. I stayed out of it, but DH did not feel there was a need to get new tickets and MIL was left all tensed and frustrated.

    Same way, MIL has MAJOR problems when she makes a plan about something and it does not work. Once she planned a visit to a distant relative and that day evening, we had to cancel because the weather was really bad. MIL insisted that we should go no matter what. Another time, in a similar trip, I had diarhea and MIL wanted me to travel to a relatives place inspite of that. MIL gets all paranoid, hyper and upset and starts acting all tantraumatic if anything changes with her plans.

    This time, it was the sambar. She had planned that she will make me cook Sambar.The plan was not just to make Sambar, it was to "make DIL make Sambar" and when that did not happen, she was angry, pissed off, frustrated, irritated.. all good & fun things for me to watch:thumbsup
     
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  9. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    Reshsabu, your MIL has be the twin sister of mine. My MIL just can not tolerate being kept waiting. When she moved in she just used to keep pushing buttons on the remote while watching TV and then would scream MONITA, MONITA MONITA like the house was on fire. I would go running what happened. Look what happened to the TV. The picture is gone. I didn't do anything. (Compulsive liar) I had to figure out what went wrong and to make it work again. I learnt my lesson soon. When she starts screaming, I just tell her I am coming. I coolly stroll down after a good 15-20 minutes. By that time madam is literally fuming. I then set down to check what's gone wrong. She says what's the use now. My show is over. I say- Oh and leave without mending the TV.:evil::tongue
     
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  10. beingloved

    beingloved Gold IL'ite

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    Good ideas:thumbsup
     

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