Is he cheating ?

What a jerk!He doesn't even have the guts to accept and apologize for his mistakes when he's caught red handed.He's so arrogant and so full of himself that he tried to put the entire blame on you and hit you!
Lavi,hugs to you dear.Don't fall for his games,now is the time for you to be strong and tactful.I really hope you saved all those conversations,if not pls gather all evidence of his cheating asap.Just be safe when you are not sure how things will turn out.I think if I were you I would go for temporary separation taking my kid along and make it clear to his parents the reason for the fight & send them chat msgs(so that they don't get too defensive.)Maybe being left all alone without his wife and kid will help him realize your worth.If he really loved you he will come for you otherwise think of it as good riddance.In any case pls be on guard,pls don't be with him unless he accepts and realizes his stupidity.I will pray for you dear,take care.

 

lavii, I am glad that you are practical about getting separated and don't fall in the "i-know-i-must-separate-but-I -love-him" trap.

You have to be strong and don't ever let him blame all this on you. That 'raising of hand" speaks a lot about the truth. Involve ALL your elders.. not only PILs and parents, but also others. get together for a chat. call that girl in question see what you can find out. ask around with his friends and colleagues - outside and inside of work.

be brave. best of Luck. Will pray for you.

 

Does he have a low self esteem ?

 

i think he's definitely having a affair ..since u have already confronted him and spoken to the elders u need to decide what to do next...hopefully he will get scared and not take his relationship any further than it is (if he's not yet emotionally /physically involved with her beyond an acceptable limit)

 

21 year old kid huh !!! OP, hate to say this - please dont fall for his sweet talks. May be he is not cheating on you, but the two are clearly flirting. The alarming thing is that your DH does not seem to have any prick of conscience about doing this. Ask him how he feels if you start flirting with your male colleagues.

 

Being a male myself would be uncomfortable calling a women baby dear darling post marriage if I don't address my wife the same way...I have known someone from social network for years and we share a brother sister relationship, I find it odd to address her dear after she is married even though her husband treats me like his brother in law....it may just be a flirtatious relationship or a brown affair but all these are assumptions but you should not just believe his words and you need to find the fact rather assuming either ways...if he is cheating catch him red hot or find out the truth before coming to any conclusion...

He has no right to beat you especially if this is the first time you asked him about this...it's obvious for any woman to feel worried and question her husband's such behaviour but if the husband is not of guilt he should stay calm and explain

 

I would gel bashed for saying this here but a lot of the responses often are biased and emotional ones...now for her husband reacting ppl see he is defensive and he raises his hand because he is guilt and he is a cheater...

Where as another day in another thread regarding a condom found in bag and when the husband was confronted he explained the reason combining emotions...again ppl questioned him as to he must be cheating...if he was not guilt he would have got angry rather being subdued....I am clueless

 

First thing is about the photos: quite possible that someone used his mobile to take her snaps.
calling sweet names: well, I haven't come across such things when I was working in India, but here it's very common.. usually male colleagues or shopkeepers or close male friends usually call darling/love etc.. It seemed to be very unusual initially, but it's common. So it can be taken in a positive way. But one thing should be cleared here. Does he address other female colleagues in the same way? You have to confirm it with someone trustworthy and more importantly will not reveal it to anyone or your husband about your inquiry. Usually the HR deals with such things and they will be the best ones to approach.

I totally don't accept defaming the wife, false swearing on kids, taking wife for granted that she would make an issue about the habits etc. This is one thing which may lead to suspicion. But regarding the habits, socially I think everyone does these days..but there is nothing wrong in telling the wife. Initially she might object or make an issue, but in the end..he's being honest to the family..which is more important.

This is quite a sensitive issue dear, specially after so many years of relationship.. I feel that you should take every step wisely and carefully. Best thing is to approach someone trustworthy from his office. Later on try to track his mobile phone. Say when he's sleeping or having a shower etc.. I think he might be deleting the call and message history by now..but you never know.. You first confirm and assure , if you find something fishy Then approach the elders in your family. Because if there is nothing of that sort, your value would decrease in front of the in laws and your DH might not like you for defaming him so much. On the whole it's a very sensitive issue and should be dealt very carefully. Please don't take anything for granted..be it positive or negative.

 

The reasons your H is giving about you not letting him grow bla bla is just to make guilty and highlight something else while his this behaviour and this issue is projected as a negligible one. and you engage yourself in sorting out that stuff he highlighted.

This is a part of the other-side that you came to know thru the hard drive.. you still dont know what else is happening. He has to sit and solve the issue when there is no understanding between you both and not look for other sorts of habits to relieve.

Check with him how he wants to go about, he cant live dual life... some one else when at home and another when at work.

Nip it at this stage and dont fall prey for his bull**** reasons that he is giving for his acts.

 

i feel here some thing is wrong. taking pics in own mobile by others is highly a story to me.. dont they own a mobile.. and more over if they have taken your Dh's mobile for picture quality will they leave pics just like that with out deleting, or why your DH saving it in your person hardrive... hiding smoking drinking and non veg, i feel it dont want to be hided and also you can give his own space and help him to stop smoking and drinking... the reasons about relationship between you and MIL is not like believing... i can forgive anything.. but not that pics...

no girl in the world allow her to take pics and save it if they do not have any personal relationship.. you have to act on this As soon as possible.. all the best.. take care