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Disgusting FIL

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by reshsabu, Apr 10, 2013.

  1. londongirl

    londongirl Senior IL'ite

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    Whackkkkk couldn't imagine such people exist
     
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  2. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    :).. infact to the outside world MIL & FIL are a very civilized couple. They are almost obsessed do ludicruous things in an effort showing off that they are "very nice" people.
     
  3. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    For obvious reasons nidhijoshi.. it doesnt serve any purpose. DH will just put it all back on me as the one who does not have values an Indian DIL should have and he will find his reasoning to paint me as the pervert and his dad as the naive, innocent one. Before we got married, DH used to say that his parents are "naive and simple villagers who dont know the complexes of a city born like me"... yeah right :)
     
  4. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    Dear sarada30.. thanks for that :). I wish I could do this.. Nonetheless, thanks for making me feel light.
     
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  5. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    You are right ShilpaMa :). FIL & MIL really want to be treated royally as they are the parents of the indian son. They just cant digest it when that does not happen... FIL thinks he is entitled to trash me and over the years I have realized that he cannot trash you unless you let him.

    FIL used to keep nagging and complainaing about everything I do, but these days neither me (nor DH for that matter) pay any heed to his comments. E.g. 2 weeks back my son spilled some juice and I was wiping that off the floor and FIL came and commanded - clean the toilet also, the closet has not been cleaned for a while. I did not respond, neither did DH and FIL stood there with a rather dumb look expecting some sort of response.

    FIL considers me the "3rd class citizen" and keeps trying to dump all dirty work - like messy cleaning, painstaking work etc. Now, I have totally stopped doing things he asks for.. DH keeps reminding me of duties of a good DIL, which I listen with all due respect, but still I do not do work I dont want to do. .. as the saying goes, "You can take a horse to water, but cannot make a horse drink water"
     
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  6. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    Dear blessed,

    That is EXACTLY what my FIL is like .. may be this guy you talked about is some long-lost twin of his :).

    I have thought about giving a strong message like the other DIL did and I have the guts to do that. But, the thing is my FIL is a major "DRAMA KING" ( male version of those super senti "Drama queens") and anytime anyone contradicts him he will fake sickness and having a shoot up in his blood pressure and DH will be all tensed and upset. Then there will be a zillion complaints against me that I do not give his old parents peace of mind and FIL has health issues because of his evil DIL...

    MIL & FIL are both hypocondriacs and DH blindly believes them. My kitchen cupboard has about 7-10 bottles of Vitamin bottles, fish oil and those health food stuff for FIL and MIL ( both of whom are pretty healthy). FIL takes Vitamin X, Y, Z separately and then a special multivitamin for people who are more than 50. FIL is someone who is so full of himself. On a typical day, all he does is sleep 15-18 hours, when he is awake he is mostly watching TV, eating , reading , working out and keeps complaining about food, cleaning up and anything and everything. He even used to make it sound like it is my mistake when internet is down or weather is bad.... for him DIL is the "punch bag" he can blame everything on.
     
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  7. GiJoe

    GiJoe Silver IL'ite

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    Reshsabu, It is just unbelievable how much crap you take from your IL. this will spoil your peace in the long-run find a solution.
     
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  8. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    Yeah.. my inlaws are plain gross and I have seen them long enough to know that I havent made a mistake in judging them. After the lingerie incident, I dont look at FIL's face and ignore even if he tries to start a conversation.

    FIL has a problem if I eat food and keeps staring at me with a sarcastic smile ( Indicating I am overweight & eat too much) everytime he sees me go to kitchen to get something to eat. I have seen perverts, but he is one of the worst. His wife thinks he is humorous and encourages him make crude jokes about other women and especially me and my DH thinks his mom & dad are the most adorable and loving couple... . Not easy being under the same roof with a "bunch of wierdos" Witsend
     
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  9. Geetanjalikumar

    Geetanjalikumar Gold IL'ite

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    Reshsbabu,

    Living everyday amidst of such people is beyond anybody's imagination. It's just not digestible that a fatherly person could act this way. Yes, very disgusting. I just pray to God to watch over you and keep you safe. I just pray to God to put some sense into your husband and open his eyes.
    I thank god for keeping you strong.
     
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  10. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Geeta -

    Thanks for the kind words .. I am really touched !
    It was very very hard in the initial years trying to control tears and keep going with the nastiest comments FIL makes about me and my parents. I remember, the day after my marriage, I was shocked when he made some extremely rude comments about me having a thyroid problem ( something totally out of my control)... but over the years, I have become strong and learnt the hard way how to survive with them around...I have raised my voice, almost scolded them , rolled my eyes when they make nasty comments, played evil tricks to give them back. At the end of the day, i feel they are the ones who are real losers.

    My FIL & MIL have lived a wasteful life and have no savings and shamelessly depend on friends and family for extravagant life.. . I have a SIL who keeps brainwashing MIL & FIL to turn against me, but at the end of the day she will just suck up whatever savings they have and I know for sure she will render no help financially or otherwise when my inlaws are in need. DH loves his parents, but is not thoughtful enough to offer them help. It is just his personality - DH never really gets me or my DS for that reason a gift for anniversary, birthday etc. He Before, I was the one who used to remind him to get stuff for his parents, but these days I no longer do that and even express my discontent at spending on them.. i dont feel they deserve it.
     

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