A bad marriage but life is still beautiful.

fellowblogger · Apr 9, 2013

Maddy2087 said: ↑

NOTE : ***** LONG POST*****

I was married in Nov 2011. It was an arranged marriage. Like every other girl the very thought of marriage gave me happiness and glory.But to my dismay happiness never got registered and never did i know that it was to be doomed in the coming year. I was slapped hard by my husband just 1 week after the marriage just in a protest to not hit his sister who handled a gadget incorrectly. I was later cajoled and pacified that it happened by mistake and i shouldn't have interfered in their fights.

I relocated to US with my husband 1 month after the marriage.The days of hell had already begun for me.I was constantly nagged, hurt and put down in every possible way. We are vegetarians and i believe in practicing the same. My husband often expressed his desire to eat chicken whenever we went out to the restaurants. When i revolted he dragged me home and hit me so hard in my jaw that i felt it got dislocated. The pain was excruciating. He cried and justified his act stating that he lost his temper and i mean the world to him.How fool was i to have got convinced ?

Days passed by but i always tried to find happiness in my own little world by cleaning, cooking,reading,gardening ,browsing and surprising him with whatever i could. I often used to walk along the lonely paths of the US listening romantic songs thinking one day my love would conquer everything and we would lead a happy life.I would desperately wait for him like a kid and hug him whenever he came from the office showing that no matter what i will be always there for him.How fool was i to have been so naive ?

Series of brutality like kicking,dragging,pushing,punching,pulling by hair had become part and parcel of my life. My body was getting numb to the abuses as it were immediately treated with heavenly surprises. My mind ,body and soul were just tools to be played with whenever possible.He tried to break the strong supportive bonds of my family and tried to isolate me .He made me believe that i would be always unloved in his absence.

In one of the occasions he slammed the door so hard on my left hand that i had blood clots and intolerable pain. He pacified me stating that i shouldn't have felt bad and the act was unintentional.How fool was i to have forgiven him ?

He exhibited escalated happiness in embarrassing me be it in public or in person. He would pull me down on my education, complexion,weight, communication etc. I was always made to believe that i was a worthless creature who couldn't withstand the atrocities of life . So powerful were his words to constantly tickle my innocence and purity that it made me believe that i should die rather than making my parents suffer to know the bitter truth of my marital status.

Whatever brutality/abuse he did were always the cause of my action. He was very dexterous with shifting blames on me that i started living on Survivors guilt "Wish i didn't tell him that ,wish i had kept quiet, wish i had kept my feeling subdued" . He always blamed his past of being motherless the main cause of his uncontrolled temper and anxiety.

I visited India to help and attend my SIL's marriage. Days of hell and sticks of death were swarming me . I was always accompanied with insecurities of getting beaten and embarrassed. My self esteem was a toy to be played with as it owned a stoic self.My love for him depleted with germination of fear of him which had no boundaries. My parents were constantly targeted with the filthiest words ever available in the world.I was never appreciated for whatever good i did to them but was humiliated and underestimated every now and then. MY FIL would always instigate my husband to hit and abuse me to let me know my limits that at the end of the day i am just a girl and i have been created to withstand the torture.

I have walked out of this marriage and have filed a case against him on the grounds of cruelty. I feel better as a person and have regained my self confidence to lead life in a positive ambiance. I thank god to have blessed me with wonderful parents who have supported me in all my decision and never left me stray. A beautiful guiding light in the name of sister who makes me laugh and is always there to wipe off the tear.

Life is very beautiful. To all the woman in the world ,never underestimate your strength,you were born a fighter . Never lose hope. To those who have been isolated just because they fought against the odds would definitely find angels in disguise.Every woman should understand that life of a woman is not dependent only on men. Never worry about the society as they never participated in your days of torture and would never be available to alleviate the pain.. Live your life to the fullest and achieve whatever you desire.

Vent out the truth and trust me you will feel awesomeeeeeeeee.

With lots of love and hugs
Maddy
Click to expand...

Dont know how you tolerated this torture so far....Wish you good lluck!

OliveOyl · Apr 9, 2013

All the best for a bright and happy future

ShilpaMa · Apr 9, 2013

Amazing strength lady........... Wish you a happier life ahead.

DGcreative · Apr 9, 2013

Dear Maddy

Hugs to you for the torture you had to go through & Hats off to your courage. Thats all I can think of writing. Just hope no one has to go through such torment as yours.

DG

cuppcake · Apr 9, 2013

Very well done brave girl....a wonderful future awaits you.

nicegirlradhi · Apr 9, 2013

Maddy, i :bowdown at the way you have handled your life and turned the tables in your favor. Wish u loads of happiness in future

Maggie2009 · Apr 9, 2013

all the best maddy. May everything go your way from now. But, just a small thought..why couldn't you have made the bastard pay for his sins? You could've called the cops on him once you'd decided to separate. Saying this only because this arranged marraige system is so screwed up that it is only a matter of time before he gets a new plaything by posing as an "innocent divorcee"

shinycalif · Apr 9, 2013

Hi Maddy,

I dont know what to write here. But thumbsupthumbsup:bowdown:bowdown:bowdown:bowdown....Just want to say that these is one stepping stone you achieved in your life and one day when you look back you will always feel blessed to have this beautiful family your parents and your siblings and you are so true a woman doesn't need a man to make her happy or to complete her, all if she needs is a life partner to respect her and balance her life and if he doesnt do that he is very much better outside her life.....All the very best to you in your life and remember that worst has passed.....now you just have your best times to come........soo happy for you.....

Maddy2087 said: ↑

NOTE : ***** LONG POST*****

I was married in Nov 2011. It was an arranged marriage. Like every other girl the very thought of marriage gave me happiness and glory.But to my dismay happiness never got registered and never did i know that it was to be doomed in the coming year. I was slapped hard by my husband just 1 week after the marriage just in a protest to not hit his sister who handled a gadget incorrectly. I was later cajoled and pacified that it happened by mistake and i shouldn't have interfered in their fights.

I relocated to US with my husband 1 month after the marriage.The days of hell had already begun for me.I was constantly nagged, hurt and put down in every possible way. We are vegetarians and i believe in practicing the same. My husband often expressed his desire to eat chicken whenever we went out to the restaurants. When i revolted he dragged me home and hit me so hard in my jaw that i felt it got dislocated. The pain was excruciating. He cried and justified his act stating that he lost his temper and i mean the world to him.How fool was i to have got convinced ?

Days passed by but i always tried to find happiness in my own little world by cleaning, cooking,reading,gardening ,browsing and surprising him with whatever i could. I often used to walk along the lonely paths of the US listening romantic songs thinking one day my love would conquer everything and we would lead a happy life.I would desperately wait for him like a kid and hug him whenever he came from the office showing that no matter what i will be always there for him.How fool was i to have been so naive ?

Series of brutality like kicking,dragging,pushing,punching,pulling by hair had become part and parcel of my life. My body was getting numb to the abuses as it were immediately treated with heavenly surprises. My mind ,body and soul were just tools to be played with whenever possible.He tried to break the strong supportive bonds of my family and tried to isolate me .He made me believe that i would be always unloved in his absence.

In one of the occasions he slammed the door so hard on my left hand that i had blood clots and intolerable pain. He pacified me stating that i shouldn't have felt bad and the act was unintentional.How fool was i to have forgiven him ?

He exhibited escalated happiness in embarrassing me be it in public or in person. He would pull me down on my education, complexion,weight, communication etc. I was always made to believe that i was a worthless creature who couldn't withstand the atrocities of life . So powerful were his words to constantly tickle my innocence and purity that it made me believe that i should die rather than making my parents suffer to know the bitter truth of my marital status.

Whatever brutality/abuse he did were always the cause of my action. He was very dexterous with shifting blames on me that i started living on Survivors guilt "Wish i didn't tell him that ,wish i had kept quiet, wish i had kept my feeling subdued" . He always blamed his past of being motherless the main cause of his uncontrolled temper and anxiety.

I visited India to help and attend my SIL's marriage. Days of hell and sticks of death were swarming me . I was always accompanied with insecurities of getting beaten and embarrassed. My self esteem was a toy to be played with as it owned a stoic self.My love for him depleted with germination of fear of him which had no boundaries. My parents were constantly targeted with the filthiest words ever available in the world.I was never appreciated for whatever good i did to them but was humiliated and underestimated every now and then. MY FIL would always instigate my husband to hit and abuse me to let me know my limits that at the end of the day i am just a girl and i have been created to withstand the torture.

I have walked out of this marriage and have filed a case against him on the grounds of cruelty. I feel better as a person and have regained my self confidence to lead life in a positive ambiance. I thank god to have blessed me with wonderful parents who have supported me in all my decision and never left me stray. A beautiful guiding light in the name of sister who makes me laugh and is always there to wipe off the tear.

Life is very beautiful. To all the woman in the world ,never underestimate your strength,you were born a fighter . Never lose hope. To those who have been isolated just because they fought against the odds would definitely find angels in disguise.Every woman should understand that life of a woman is not dependent only on men. Never worry about the society as they never participated in your days of torture and would never be available to alleviate the pain.. Live your life to the fullest and achieve whatever you desire.

Vent out the truth and trust me you will feel awesomeeeeeeeee.

With lots of love and hugs
Maddy
Click to expand...

alagarsamy · Apr 9, 2013

Hi Maddy, very sad to read your story but glad you are out and happy now...
All the best for your future life...don't think abt the past..YOU ARE gr8..

ArtsSorts · Apr 9, 2013

I almost had tear in my eyes while reading this....Maddy i am really proud of you and all other women who have the courage to save themselves from such brutality. I hope you have a wonderful life ahead and find someone who will love you unconditiionally!

Good luck

ArtsSorts

Maddy2087 said: ↑

NOTE : ***** LONG POST*****

I was married in Nov 2011. It was an arranged marriage. Like every other girl the very thought of marriage gave me happiness and glory.But to my dismay happiness never got registered and never did i know that it was to be doomed in the coming year. I was slapped hard by my husband just 1 week after the marriage just in a protest to not hit his sister who handled a gadget incorrectly. I was later cajoled and pacified that it happened by mistake and i shouldn't have interfered in their fights.

I relocated to US with my husband 1 month after the marriage.The days of hell had already begun for me.I was constantly nagged, hurt and put down in every possible way. We are vegetarians and i believe in practicing the same. My husband often expressed his desire to eat chicken whenever we went out to the restaurants. When i revolted he dragged me home and hit me so hard in my jaw that i felt it got dislocated. The pain was excruciating. He cried and justified his act stating that he lost his temper and i mean the world to him.How fool was i to have got convinced ?

Days passed by but i always tried to find happiness in my own little world by cleaning, cooking,reading,gardening ,browsing and surprising him with whatever i could. I often used to walk along the lonely paths of the US listening romantic songs thinking one day my love would conquer everything and we would lead a happy life.I would desperately wait for him like a kid and hug him whenever he came from the office showing that no matter what i will be always there for him.How fool was i to have been so naive ?

Series of brutality like kicking,dragging,pushing,punching,pulling by hair had become part and parcel of my life. My body was getting numb to the abuses as it were immediately treated with heavenly surprises. My mind ,body and soul were just tools to be played with whenever possible.He tried to break the strong supportive bonds of my family and tried to isolate me .He made me believe that i would be always unloved in his absence.

In one of the occasions he slammed the door so hard on my left hand that i had blood clots and intolerable pain. He pacified me stating that i shouldn't have felt bad and the act was unintentional.How fool was i to have forgiven him ?

He exhibited escalated happiness in embarrassing me be it in public or in person. He would pull me down on my education, complexion,weight, communication etc. I was always made to believe that i was a worthless creature who couldn't withstand the atrocities of life . So powerful were his words to constantly tickle my innocence and purity that it made me believe that i should die rather than making my parents suffer to know the bitter truth of my marital status.

Whatever brutality/abuse he did were always the cause of my action. He was very dexterous with shifting blames on me that i started living on Survivors guilt "Wish i didn't tell him that ,wish i had kept quiet, wish i had kept my feeling subdued" . He always blamed his past of being motherless the main cause of his uncontrolled temper and anxiety.

I visited India to help and attend my SIL's marriage. Days of hell and sticks of death were swarming me . I was always accompanied with insecurities of getting beaten and embarrassed. My self esteem was a toy to be played with as it owned a stoic self.My love for him depleted with germination of fear of him which had no boundaries. My parents were constantly targeted with the filthiest words ever available in the world.I was never appreciated for whatever good i did to them but was humiliated and underestimated every now and then. MY FIL would always instigate my husband to hit and abuse me to let me know my limits that at the end of the day i am just a girl and i have been created to withstand the torture.

I have walked out of this marriage and have filed a case against him on the grounds of cruelty. I feel better as a person and have regained my self confidence to lead life in a positive ambiance. I thank god to have blessed me with wonderful parents who have supported me in all my decision and never left me stray. A beautiful guiding light in the name of sister who makes me laugh and is always there to wipe off the tear.

Life is very beautiful. To all the woman in the world ,never underestimate your strength,you were born a fighter . Never lose hope. To those who have been isolated just because they fought against the odds would definitely find angels in disguise.Every woman should understand that life of a woman is not dependent only on men. Never worry about the society as they never participated in your days of torture and would never be available to alleviate the pain.. Live your life to the fullest and achieve whatever you desire.

Vent out the truth and trust me you will feel awesomeeeeeeeee.

With lots of love and hugs
Maddy
Click to expand...