Day by Day Situation goes bad!!!!Plz read..

Hi Indus ladies..
Here is my life story..I tried to put it in short as i don't have good expressive skills it went so long.... I(Working women)married an NRI and completed 3 yrs of our married life. Whn i was in USA my lif so good, i did n't even miss my family n think for India visit as my husband taken care of me very well..Very well in the sense when he shouted on me, i did the same..when he beats, i did d same..After some time either I or he will compromise, kind of daily routine..
I did job in US. When is he asked abt kids, i said not now as i want to settle in my career and also we r financially week. He agreed and I did IT Job.
All Financial matters he take cares and all my money goes into his account but he shared wat is he doing wid dat..
Lif went smooth except small fights..One day when we are doing Intercourse condome has broken, and i'm so worried. After that he stopped doing intercourse, i even did n't forced him but asked sometimes use safety and do that...Some times I'm stubborn and he is more than me..
With small fights, compromises,cares, love and without intercourse our life went in US.
About him in short: He want a housewife who never argues, never involves in financial matters..etc. I don't know why he married Working women???
He saves our money without letting his parents in India as it's a joint family and FIL(sits Idle), BIL (spends more, does small business) are irresponsible people.
After some days in US, he started about "Return to India" plan and the reason he told because of my Torture..I took it light and thought not serious.
I realized after we fight n compromise and I forget abt as it is common in everyone's life that issue but he wont and keeps in his mind as for him, Lady should always shut her mouth whether it's wrong r right and he likes lady in 1960's as his family environment is like dat..
His mom and SIL never replies or argues when their husbands argues and shouts at them even infront of other people..
I'm like normal present generation lady who wants equality and respect, my family is lik dat and i grown up wid dat..
I told YES to india plan as we r financially settled, started for kids and want to live wid my family and thought In India my life will be so good...
Finally we return to INDIA, bad season started for me since November..
-> DH parents called my parents and told i tortured DH n they took a big class.
When my parents asked wat torture, they told whenever my DH scolds r argues r beats i wont keep quiet n my parents replied nowadays educated women never keep quiet if there is no mistake at their side n my daughter did that..
->I stayed at parents home 1 month as my sister got delivered and my DH changed alot n lot and MIL n FIL encouraged him
one day my DH came to my parents home and gave me four options.
1)You have to listen everything wat I says till end without arguing/discuusing anything.
2)Divorce
3)we call for panchayati and expose our issues in public

I told the options r not correct. Marriage means we have to understand each other, some times i listen to you and some times u have listen to me and told we both are equal.(as he likes male domination in evreything)
->One day he told you should not do job and take care of me by sitting @ home. I asked for the reason..
he told-if both are buzy, our life is like US. I told it wont be like dat bcoz here we have maids and i can travel independently n come to home early.-DH satisfied, but then told his one of the real problem-If i do job, his parents asks for more n more money, but he does not like to giv as dey r irresponsible.
I even told solution for dat.
->I went to MILS home. one day there is big fight b/w me and DH's parents reagarding money matter. My DH, with his brillant brain played a double game and kept quiet when they blammed me.
Intially he is with me when i told my FIL-we send money for u as we r responsible for that not for BIL., suddently DH jumps to their side as his need is fulfilled by me and he has hope on MIL's properties(which r under court).
DH is silent Whn my MIL-FIL told all these money fights becasue of me and she tortures him in US, so he returned to India.
DH played a double game-Eventhough he does not have answer wat torture i did in US, he blammed me for dat, and kept quiet all these money fights bcoz of me and i should not do job(no reason for that).
All he wants i should not open my mouth at any cost... but i'm not a dumb o brain less right?
We were still at MILS's village as DH is not getting job and continuing USA work in night hrs
Now torture started for me by DH at -
one day he shouted me without a reason infront of their parents,when i asked why u always Bark(i used bad word) whn he alone, he slapped and kicked. This time i kept quiet as i'm in fear if does not come to city and stays @ MIL's village.
We have less talk no intimacy for 3 days. Yesterday i went close to him n try to break the silence even though is mistake is there, i compromised-he said, why r u started talking now?hwz abt past 3 days? u r doing whatever ur mom says(as i always talks wid mom, DH wont be at room and i get bored)- if you come near i will go out bla bla..n suddenly he want out in the mid night and slept beside his mom...I tried to digest that n went to that room and called him and told him i wont touch u, plz come to room...for everything he wants, he is asking his mom and left me alone even for lunch r dinner..
Now i got a clear picture abt him-Eventhough it's his mistake:
-> i should come down n compromise with the same day itself
->i should not raise my vice n always keep my mouth shut
I don't have a option, arrested in MIL's jail house...wat to do?i want equality, minimum respect, independence, my career, my job , kids and caring DH.
When we return india, started trying for kids but both of us are not happy not getting result.
Wat to do???????Plz guide me...

 

Thank You lifeprob1000 n raji12. I will giv more n more love to him instead of arguing..

NaveenSasi- My eyes are opened by ur post. Yes, I need to change the way of dealing with him. I will stop arguing wid him even he is not correct n i will try to explain him wid low voice..
But here are my concerns:
1)I'm in a fear dat: When i compromise for one thing, he will try to dominate/apply dat in everything and If i say sorry, he takes dat as advantage and thinks i accepted my mistake and he never understands, i'm compromised for our life and mistake is by both of us...
2)I have ego- too much self respect that stops me to forgive n adjust wid my DH even though i loves him so much..i don't why if i fight wid my sisters and mistake is by them then also my ego wont play any role wid them..i compromise all the time happily.

Anyways i'm trying to make his mood good after that fight, but he is not giving chance n he escapes from me. he is not sitting in the room(only coming for sleep) and not replying to me whn i ask something n not eating wid me n not sleeping wid me..I'm so uncomfortable as i'm @ MIL's home and he shares everything wid them...Wat to do now...how to change d situation as he escapes from me???how to make him smile at me???

 

Here is my present situation:
My MIL's family is weird. I should stand up and then sit down all the time when my FIL enters home, should sit on the floor/shift from sofa if my FIL and also my DH sits on the floor, should not sit by facing at him and IL's imposed all these to my DH.
FYI..FIL sits idle 24/7 @home
Hall:No place for me
One day i sat on sofa and eating breakfast(only me n my husband were there in the hall), my FIL entered hall from dining room..my husband told to me, go n sit in the dining hall, i asked wat is wrong in dat? he raised his voice..i calmly left the place..thrn onwards i'm not sitting in the hall.
Kitchen:No place for me
Every time my Co-sister and MIL will talk indirectly on me n my family.
So one peace full place i have is our bed room.

My parents n IL's village is same. FIL started giving bad publicity all over the village abt me dat: i always sits in bedroom, wont talk with anyone n her mother is teaching bad things, spoiling her n making fights in the family.

After the fight i mentioned in earlier post, my dh is not talking wid me and always sits n sleeps in the hall except in night and not responding for my talk..If i come near to my husband he is leaving d room in mid night.

Now what i did, i started interacting with my IL's n dey r also over responding to me..now DH is responding to me very lightly..
Problem with him (1):
->I should keep calm even whn he shouts and should talk casually with in no time if there is a fight even that is bcoz of him..
->Should not do job and should not involve in any of financial r other matters.

Also, My IL's imposed negative feelings on my parents and for that fight he is blaming me n my parents.

My DH madly loves his mom n follows wat she says... One Interseing thing is My mil n cosister always keeps their mouth shut whn their husbands shouts, infront of others without any reason..

Problem with him (2):
Evertime when we do intercourse , he force me change bedsheet and he wont touch laptop r cell r any thing..if we touch any thing while intercourse that should be washed and we both need to do head bath, after that only we need to touch any thing in the house.

There are so many things which even old couple wont follow-in Telugu (In depth feelings of Antudu-Muttudu)

In normal days also, he wont put camera on d bed, wont sleep on bed and wont allow to touch iron box without head bath etc etc!!!!!
I argued so many times--no use n at the same time Slowly i habituated to follow all those..

After disusing all these wid my mom, she told one day u both get mad!!!
So i stopped following him-stopped head bath after intercourse n touching laptop, phone etc..My DH is not touching if i do normal bath and not even eating anything if i put without headbath..
He is not doing intercourse daily n doing once in a week beacuse of bed sheet shortage/laundry problem.

My parents are saying first discuss these wid ur MIL(as DH listens wat she says) and if both r against we will sit in Village panchayti/famous people n express everything to change him...

What i'm thinking these all should not go public n i'm not intrested to change my DH wid fear!!!!!!!

What should i do for above two problems...plz suggest!!!!!!!!!!very urgent!!!!