Why am i behaving like this??

Like coolgal123 said, why hire a maid when you get one for free in a DIL. But to fair, SIL living in IL's house is their business. IL's can entertain whoever they want in their home. Only thing you can control is how you get treated when you visit your ILs. If they specifically ask you to do something, tell them that you are tired or sick and get a takeout. Personally I would tell people that if you need something..do it yourself..I'm no one's maid, but most people are not so brash as I am. So, you need to do it in stages and make them realize that you will not be doing much when you visit them and they wont expect it.

 

OP, believe me am the same... if am with my SIL for over 2 hrs together... its sure that my back answer will terribly upset her.. and she won't be talking to me for the rest of the visit.

Leaving child with them will be greatest disaster since no one in that home can think beyond eating and drinking ... so leave alone an unwell child being looked after.

I would also prefer to leave the home with the child and stay in daycare instead of gng to offc.... I wud anyday prefer to be with my ailing child and other cute kids.. rather than pathetic souls at home... and endless cooking for them and their blabberings and gyaan.

You can try developing thick skin of only feeding urself nd ur child but not sure how easy its with an overwhleming MIL and SIL in ur case.

 

Coolgal123,
I tried the trick once.. But elder SIL doesn't allow to hire a maid as they need to pay double salary to her as both SIL N MIL are staying together and says let's share the work. Instead she will distribute the work. Finally if i am on the bed MIL will be in kitchen. DH feels so sorry about MIL if she works in kitchen when me and SILs are there and says go and help MIL. :spin:spin SILs also say "mom, u sit n relax.. we will do everything.." but they will end up saying this, while i go and finish the work. :rant Most of the times I feel sorry for her when she only works in the kitchen (she had fracture for her leg 5 years back) and tries to help her.. then she happily dumps all the work on me and leaves the kitchen.:rant:bonk:drowning
The irritating thing is DH says to keep smiling always though i'm tired, though MIL dumps all work on me, though SILs criticize me..:rant
when I say DH that I can't do this much work, the best suggestion he gives " Eat well.. then you will get more energy.. so can you do more work.." A/c to him i need to eat loads of food to complete the loads of work.. ":drowning:spin

 

Hopefully & Honey29,

When your SILs come, why dont try to give some work to them. I mean in a friendly way, can you say "Akka, can you plz cut these vegs, can you fry these things, can you take care of cooker?" I dont know if you tried it. I can understand unmarried SILs not doing anything or pretending to forget. But married responsible SILs? How in the hell can they expect you to take care of their kids?
I think if your MIL tried to do all work, you should just tell SILs, to go and help MIL and you try to escape by going to restroom or like attending a phone call atleast for a little while and go inside kitchen at the tail-end of work. If your MIL is trying to pile work on you, why do you feel guilty for her leg pain?

Take a vacation! Go to your mom's place and take rest! When SILs can come and rest at their mother's house, why not you?

 

OP & Honey29,

Get your mom with you whenever you visit ILs. Tell them how you & your mom are as close as MIL & SIL.

 

Op & Honey,

What if you guys spoil the food twice,thrice in the week that you are there? Add some extra salt or chili powder or masala such that some of the dishes are unpalatable. And make some of them bland. Do not make too many varieties and stick to the basics.

I know this is kind of wicked especially since we will not be able to eat that food too. But sometimes, you got to show that you cannot handle too many people and let them take over from you.

Have you guys tried this option before?

 

Dear helpmeangel,
the situation happened with me, when my MIL told me to cook Chicken biryani for 20 members (for the crowd at the home n for her nearest relatives who stay near by IL's house). I got panicked at her order and told her that I can't and i don't hav that much experience to cook for 20 members. she replied, "try now.. you'll get experience.. you need to do this in future.." :rant:rant finally that day end up with charred chicken biryani.. :thumbsup
But as u told, i need to try this trick when ever i go there...

 

Hopefully,
my elder SIL is too clever to escape from work.. No body in the world can beat her in acting.. she always acts like tired and week.. so that nobody dare to assign her any work.
and you said to ask DH to help me.. :spin If i do that, rest of the people will be ready to attack n kill me with their words..:bonk:spin:drowning