Divorce is only solution please help..?

Just to lighten up the mood in this thread. Why dont you drug your husband for some time. Let him go into zzzzzzzz mode. Pretty simple, Mix a small amount of sleep pills in the food he eats. Put him to sleep saying 'I love you honey'.

 

Dear Tashsin,
Let me burst your bubble. If your husband raised his hand on u once, he;ll do it again n again n again. it will never stop. trust me. it doesnt matter if u change, or adjust or bend backwards to please him. it will never ever stop. Accept it. And plz plz plz tell your parents everything. Dont keep them in the dark. move away from your husband. if your parents help u on this, fine, if they dont find a support group and move on. if not for u then for your son. he deserves it. start working. if necessary learn sumthing, finish up ur studies and become independent.

i know sum1 close who went thru sumthing similar like your situation. the beating never stopped even after 25 years of marriage and 2 children. it dint stop untill the kids were big enuf and independent to support their mother. plz its an appeal. leave that b*****d. ur son deseres a better life

 

Thats my girl!!! have a safe journey and keep us posted when you arrive safely in India. Its a good decision.

 

OMG I am new here but what is happening here....?? How you feel if you husband give you sleeping pills RIYA123.....??
I can see some really rude comments.....someone is suffering and someone is calling it TV daily soap....JAI ho IL ki...
I am not taking OP side but it is really strange....:bonk

 

Chill!!. I was just trying to lighten up the mood. OP's husband is a jerk. If I beat my husband till he bleeds internally, then may be he would think of giving me sleeping pills!!.

 

Good. Thank goodness. Do let us know that you got there and are safe.

 

Hi All,

I read the entire thread and wanted to share my experience and need some advice from you all regarding what im going through in my marriage.

I'm married for 4 yrs now. Both lived and work in Us before we met each other and got married and i moved to him place leaving my job and got a job here after a couple of months. First 3-4 months was good and then came the misery. I came to know about a 10 yrs affair he had with his Ex and was exposed to all the emails and photos he took with her in their trips. He had stored those in the ipod for some reasons and i happened to see it. He had told me abt this Ex that it was in the final yr of college and not really love but infactuation and nothing serious and they were not in contact after he came to US. But that all turned to be a lie after i got to see all the pictures which was all taken in the trips he took with her in NY,DC and other main places in the US. When i asked him about this he begged me not to leave and I too felt soo bad for him and wanted to stayed. But week after week i found more pictures and only after i ask him he will say yes we did go to arkansas also.. and Memphis also and the list continued for a while. This slowly made me loose trust in him. All i wanted was for him to tell me the truth but he kept on fooling around wiht my emotions n life!


His family is joint family and his uncle is no more so his aunt is the ruling party. He is soo scared of his father n aunt and always thinks his life is dedicated to make them happy n comfortable. 4 yrs he is not interested in having a baby. we used to fight a lot about it. My assumption is his aunt is not willing for us to have baby as it might make him not send money to the family if im not working and his salary will just be enough for us or she wants us to have baby only after her daughter gets married. for some reasons he used to fight always if i take baby making stuff. But he will say that its my fault im not conceiving while he would not even try couple of times a month. So we both went to doctor and i got test with all kinds of test and doc wanted him to take a test but till now he is not ready.

He is a more of aunt's boy, she is cunning and always complains abt me or my family to him and he always calls her only when im not around.Even though we are thousands of miles apart they impact my life on daily basis. He lies a lot to me about wat they do and stuff. They decided financial stuff, getting property , building new stuff everyhitng wihtout letting me know. I feel i have no take on the life which even im a equal bread winner

Before 1 month we thought this life is getting worse and he ran away for 2 days just texting me that he is not liking to live this life anymore. Then i asked him to come back and we went for counscelling. If frist session it was more of talking how our life was. In 2nd session she gave us the reason why its like this and why im angry about this life n frustrated and she asked me to tell him about my problems so he can tackle it. We agreed and started But he still kept on talking to them and did not tell me. Because of that i still not able to work on the relationship trust. Emotionally he will not talk about anything. If anything is worng or bothereing me the first thing he will say is close the chapter n move on. Im really a person who wants to let out my feelings or talk about things so we learn from our mistakes. Any problem he doesnt want to talk about it but erase it and start new.The counseceller told him that he needs to change his hiding behind the wall while in problems attitute and stuff.

Finally in the 3rd counscelling session i decided he is not going to change after all these 4 yrs so i told im moving out of this life (which i have told many times gone out came back many times) and the counceller asked him if he can compromise a little with his aunt to see if he can accomodate my wishes as she has been having a complex life untile now iwth all your past n trust issues. He said no he cant because his aunt is the one whom he knew for 15 yrs and she has been cooking for his family for all this time and he cant. So then i told ok fine then i will not be in your way and i will not seperate u from them (no meaning doing that) so i will move out of ur life and not be a disturbance any more.

Now i spoke to my family and they are ok with me going out of this life.. but im still not sure.I did not get pure love it was his Ex, nor care it was his aunt and his sisters always, no kid nor a trust worthy husband. This life has become meaning less and i dealt with it for too long! Im still not sure if im taking the right path and im scared to face the future and a life alone for ever .I know many of you out there have same kind of problems so Please advice me .

 

NeedyUser, it sounds like you've made the right decision. You can't trust him. You've even gone to counseling, and still his behavior makes him untrustworthy. You're better off without him. It's scary, but you're far better off without going crazy staying with someone you can't trust. It sounds like your family supports your decision to leave him, and he apparently has no inclination to stop you from going.

You won't necessarily be alone forever. Not every man is like the ones you and Tashsin have married. Many, many women here are happily married.