Divorce is only solution please help..?

positivegal · Mar 6, 2013

I almost got shivers after reading your post, please get in touch with your family ASAP, there is no love, respect or trust in this relationship from your husband side.

flowerlady · Mar 6, 2013

Dear OP,
Stop making excuses for your abusive DH , he does not love you . Accept it.
How will a child benefit seeing his father thrash his Mom?
Is this a scenario good for a kid?
You are still young, educated and can make a life for yourself.
Take care.

anjish · Mar 6, 2013

Dear OP,
Do the following things as early as possible,
1) Go to near by police station and file a complain against him. Do not feel any hesitation while doing so as he is not hesitated 2 beat u.
2) Call immediately to ur parents. You are not answerable to anybody to talk to your parents.Its ur right.
3) if possible take a help of marriage counsellor. Your life is very precious. You have a kid. Ask a question to urself do u want that ur kid will behave like his father in future. If yes then good luck to u, if not then it will be better to get separate( i am not in favor of divorce.)
Please take first 2 steps immediately.
Take care.

nicegirlradhi · Mar 6, 2013

Hi Tashin

I cant even imagine how you are thinking that your H still loves you? even after abuse and you bleeding? please stop being a doormat. he is not even treating you as a human being, let alone as better half.

i dont know what are the issues in your r family, but please ensure either your husband end DV or you end his arrogance

Titanium001 · Mar 6, 2013

As many have said, WAKE UP!!!!And PLEASE, your h does not love you, sorry to hurt ur feelings but really open up your eyes and be realistic. That jerk is an abuser, he is abusing you physically and mentally and you need to get out of this relationship. Your son is very young and it is unhealthy to raise him in such an environment.
Move out of there as soon as possible and go to India to your parents. You deserve much better treatment than this. Live with your parents, make a life of your own, do whatever that is required to help you become financially independent, such as taking up educational courses etc or getting a job etc.
Believe me darling, dealing with divorce will be much better than living in this hell. So WAKE UP and BE STRONG!!!

Mommyagain · Mar 6, 2013

Physical abuse till you bled? Domestic violence is NOT a part of a loving relationship. Stand up for yourself! Are your parents aware of your situation? What is their advice? And aren't you the same person who wanted to reconcile with your inlaws for your husband's sake? Just wow...
Shilpama, i have seen my immediate family members benefit from reiki! Good suggestion, OP please consider it for your sanity in this difficult time..

Rakhii · Mar 6, 2013

I am shocked. I am so sorry to hear this. You are a wonderful person and you deserve more. We have interacted many a time in infant section and I am deeply worried about you and your safety.

My sincere suggestion...Book a ticket to India and go back taking your 16 month old with you. Dont say a beep to your husband. get your parents to somehow book a ticket (even if they have to take a debt). You dont put anything on credit card as he might get an alert. Silently get your tickets booked. When he leaves for work...run for your life along with your son.

Your life is in danger. He has been hitting you till you bled...tomorrow he might 'accidentally' kill you. Is that what you want? What will happen to your son after that?

I am telling you...call your parents and explain the situation. Get the next flight tickets and RUN. You can start the legal process later.

Another thing...take pictures of your wounds/ scars etc. You are going to need this.

He does NOT love you. I am sorry but as a third person to the situation, I can see this. RUN.

Rakhii · Mar 6, 2013

Hey....do you have anyone in singapore? Do you want me to contact womens shelter for you? I can help you...please PM me if you want me to contact anyone. I can also call your parents...if you are afraid that your husband will find out about your call.

You better respond...I have tears in my eyes and I am deeply worried about your safety.

I am telling you...run to India. If your parents live in a remote place, you can stay in my sisters place in Hyderabad until they can come for you. I am waiting...respond please. I am worried.

Tashsin · Mar 6, 2013

Thank you all for your reply..
1- I had internal bleeding I came to know because on next day I was unable to stand so I visit Gyno immediately,after scanning he told me that I had internal bleeding..if it happens next time I need immediate operation...
2- I had a fights with PIL( with my MIL and FIL and they said me to go out from there house with my 6 moth old son..after that DH come to India and take me back to Singapore...) DH feel that because in this fight he takes my side so his relation with His parents is no more...but if there is no relationship between PIL &DH I can't understand what they are doing on phone for 2-3hrs...
In every house fight and arguments are very common between PIL and DIL but my DH want me to be like..TV Bahu..shsheel,sanskari...like cow....
3-from starting there is some problem between my parents and PIL...in my ILaws house all are talking, discussing on this..just for nothing...I don't understand why people want to live in past and spoil present and future..
4- DH never beat me before bit after I had fight with my PIl he beat me oftenly....in staring he said sorry but now I feel after beating me he feel some inner satisfaction...
4- I gone through all of your replies and I already decided if he beat me again at that moment I will leave house...with my son..because it will prove that he have no mind..and if he have he only want to use it for his parents...who are spoiling his marital life...but he can't see this because he is blind in there love..
Every couple have there personal life but in my personal life my inlawz are more important for DH then me....he can't see that they are living happily and enjoying life with kitty parties and all....but because of them he is spoiling our marriage.......
I just want to give him one last chance because of my love for him...

Rakhii · Mar 6, 2013

Oh honey...I dont know how to open your eyes. Next time you might end up dead. You had internal bleeding and you are saying you want to give him another chance?

Read my posts please. He is not going to change. You need to find safety....this time you escaped with internal bleeding. Next time you might end up dead.
I am telling you, if you were in Canada, I would have come to get you. Seriously...wake up and run. Please.