Restrictions/dresscode to some married Indian women - very unfortunate

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OK here is my take. I do not live with my inlaws full time and I visit them once in 2 years when I visit India. So far, 3 times since getting married. neither my husband nor my MIL insisted that I wear a particular dress code but I go out of the way and dress in saree's everyday, flowers in my hair, payal...you get the drift?

Why? Simple...I know my MIL likes to show me off as a perfect Indian bahu to her neighbors and relatives. I humor her...it doesnt bother me at all. Of course, I was still mistreated for other reasons but its a different story.

I did that because I was visitng her only for a month, once every 2 years. If I were living there day in and day out, I woud have been my self and wear what makes me comfortable.

 

Let me begin by saying I have no restrictions from my husband or my il's. and of course I have put no restrictions on him either.

That being said, it is strange that some women would consider the issues raised by OP as trivial. Some women may like to be obedient wives and dil, but for others is abhorrent. When an adult woman marries an adult man, of course there should be no need for permission on either side but like op mentioned, reality for many is very different.

Lot of women work either at home or outside or the real unfortunate ones- both at home and office along with serving not just husband but also il's. compared to the 7 day job that women does men have it easy sitting on their ass for 5days a week.

 

hello friends
this topic is super hot where evry married girl cant stop herself from posting here.
here is the list of restrictions where i should have to follow.
1. do all household chores alone no one to help
2. cannot go out with or without permission can go out with in laws where they want to take me.
3. had to wear saree on functions or occasions.as we r muslims i normally wear salwar kameez and wear burkha when go outside and forced to cover face which i dont like.
4. wanted me to do job with all household chores before and after duty and had to give all my salary to my mil.
and my hubby is working in saudi he cant help me and my parents r very far from me they r in mumbai and i m in karnataka ...

god bless us and help us in our lives.....

 

For me, there are not many rules and restriction except for

1. Inform (just inform) PIL before going out. But that's true for Both my DH and BIL and both DILs too. Even my MIL and FIL goes out they inform us. So i am cool with it.
2. Only other restriction we DILs face are no 2 wheeler driving. In early 2011, while myself and Co-sis were coming back on 2 wheeler after some work outside, some bike people tried to snatch gold chains from co-sis's neck and due to jerk we lost balance of 2 wheeler and fell down. My FIL restricted our 2 wheeler use for DILs (my MIL doesn't drive anyway) and instructed our DH too buy cars. We ended up having 3 cars in home now to accommodate all of us. So but i feel it was more for safety rather than to restrict us.

 

Married little over a yr back, no restrictions from hubby. Dont live with inlaws but they live in the same city. I belong to different religion, am a hindu and hubby muslim.

Inlaws tried to tell me to cover my head etc,. the way muslims dress.
When they try to tell me, I listen to them very carefully or shall I say pretend to be taking their words seriously and then let it out through the other ear with no effort. tonguetongue:tongue

During festivals and holidays, I love dressing traditionally but not the muslim way,, Thats way too much for me, its an overdose of conservatism accdg to me. :crazy

Anyway, as for other household chores etc., I am better off without my hubby's help. I am a neat freak and I love to do things my way only. Sometimes after coming home from work I am totally exhausted so I put the chores off for another day.

Hubbies only job at home is on the weekends, in the evenings, make me tea. So, far, he has been sweet enough to do that for me. He tries so hard to wake up in the mornings on sundays and do the same for me but poor thing, he can't win over the early morning laziness.......or .....may be he can't beat me, since I am used to waking up too early.......

Inlaws complaint is if they ask their son his decision on anything, he says, he will consult me and give his final word. Recently, I got to hear some sarcastic remarks due to this quality of his.
It really hurt me when they commented so insensitively about him.... :-(

 

Hey friend, felt sorry reading your post. You are doing just way too much. Open your own bank account and keep some money for yourself, after all thats your hard earned money. You have every right on it. And, take care of your health, thats most important. Hope your hubby returns soon or why don't you go there? Its hard to stay separately. Take care!

 

Yeah it happens.... I was brought up traditionally , so i would love to be like that ....even then these r points by my MIL....
1) wear bigger bindi....
2) wear bigger nose ring ( i love mine as small as a dot)
3) wear glass bangles as it is must for married women ( i wear 2 golden bangles and never listen to them)
4) Dont wear anything other then saree infront of inlaws ( i dont care this....I follow this only when we visit them as they live in village and have lot of visitors....But if they visit us i wear as per my wish except western)
5) Dont let DH do anything .....(neither of us care for this .....hahaha)

 

My ex mother in law use to impose things by telling my ex hubby.. Most restrictions.. Simple things like should always tie hair..Ex does not have any independent views on putting restrictions for dress code etc but his mother is a remote control to him. hence i was imposed on many.
I dont mind following some of them like wearing bindi or mangalsutra.