Need advice.upset again- New match

Lakshmi

I think you are not mentally prepared for a (second) marriage yet. Do not say that you have waited xxxxx years since divorce, and it is not a quicker one.

You are yet to be recovered from your past, it seems. You seem to be still comparing your EX with whatever the match that come across. You seem to be still "missing" your EX, and the life that you had together. There is a deep bitter feeling in your heart, that your EX had managed to find a second bride without much efforts, and they are happily settled now. You seem to be still checking his updates, and so on.

With this mental state, whatever the amount of years passed, you will still have difficulties to adjust with the "proposals" that your parents find for you.

You first need to come out of your past. It takes time, and some professional help would definitely support this.
You must understand the fact that you are a divorcee, and looking for a second marriage in India. This statement has lots of power, although it sounds a bit harsh on you.
You must accept the fact that in any arranged marriage, "adjustment" is the main thing that is expected from both the bride and groom. You better be prepared for it.

Ex: I had a love marriage, my husband is my long term best friend, and look wise, height wise, and every other external and internal wise we are perfectly matching. But we are of different religious, cast and racial background. We had problems, and we are now happily married.
On the other hand, my sister had an arranged marriage. Look wise they are not so matching. My sister looks like an angel, where her husband is just an average man. They have so much differences in everything, likes, dislikes etc..etc... However they are of same religion, caste and everything.
They are still learning to adjust and accept each others differences, and change their personal preferences according to their "family". They are also happily married!!!

I loved Uttara's response. You shouldn't be rushing to a marriage to prove to the world that you didn't do a mistake to fail in your previous marriage. Also, it should not be a reason to prove your EX, that you are better off now. It is not a competition, but your life.

Set your priorities straight, and see if anyone matches with them. Wait till you find your Mr. right. Good luck

 

You have an right to your feelings or opinions, but be flexible in your attitude, u are concerned about how others feel you as a couple due to height, only that that u require is love, care and trust for a successful married life.....

 

this is called ****ed up advice !! keep your mouth shut ...... all you are doing is ... losing respect ... for your stupid advices !!!!!

 

Dear ivlakshmi,

Do not have rigid feelings for 'love'. Open yourself and be ready for it. Regardless of the past, you have to ready in your mind to accept love when it finds you.

Be it arranged marriage, where your parents choose or be it otherwise, love will find you only when you are open to it. Love yourself first, when you do things with the feeling of love and open to love, you will find your loving partner too.

 

Looks attitude or what ever. Definetely dont hurry if you dont completely like him, meet him several times and see compatability