Certificate

satchitananda · Feb 26, 2013

[JUSTIFY]"Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages" said the board outside the office in Pune. I often passed this board and wondered at the strange progression. Till a friend quipped that it indicated the events in the ascending order of horror!!!!! :rotfl I must say, I do not disagree with her.

Which brings me to the topic of certificates. Why should I get a birth certificate? :coffee After all I had no say in the matter nor did I achieve anything myself. All the hard work was my mother's. So she should be the one getting the certificate. By the way, my birth certificate gives my name as "Name Not Known". So I do not know whether I was really born to my parents or not - it could well have been a sibling who was lost in the Kumbh Mela at some point of time.

Again, when I die, why should my relatives get a certificate? I was the one who endured the horrors of this world. :spin So that makes the certificate totally superfluous.

As for the marriage certificate, it should certify that two individuals are certified fit to be institutionalized, given the fact that they have agreed to do something so totally insane as to get married. :rotfl

But this business of collecting certificates is pretty catching. I remember the first certificate that I collected on my own merit was for "reading" in Std. IV, much to the amusement of all at home. I used to be yelled at pretty regularly for stammering and I remember grandpa wondering what other kids in my class read like if I got the certificate with all my stammering!!!!! :rant

I don't remember getting a certificate for topping anything after that throughout my school career. But I do remember collecting a number of them for writing some Hindi Rashtrabhasha examinations (of my own volition), a general knowledge examination (forced on me, in which I performed disastrously) and so on. It then dawned on me that the more courses one does, the more certificates one collects. :-o Sibling rivalry in my case took on the form of a burning desire to outdo my older sib in some respect. :hide: So there started my love affair with collecting certificates. :bonk I just had to have more than her. (That reminds me, I have to ask her to count hers and check if I have after all achieved my goal). If she studied French, I did it as an additional course at the univ besides my usual academics. If she knew French, I had to learn one additional language...... till one day my dad asked me why I wanted to do something. "I want one more certificate for my portfolio", I replied. After that it became a standing joke between the two of us. :-D

That reminds me, it is quite a while since I collected one. Time I went and did something to get a fresh certificate. Do you think IL could issue me a certificate for lying on my back side and boring the wits out of some unsuspecting souls on this site?[/JUSTIFY]

arka · Feb 26, 2013

I'm impressed satchitananda !

I made my daughter read this, and she just loved the way u have put in your thoughts :thumbsup

wish u all the best !!

ambika04 · Feb 26, 2013

Dear Satchi,

Your definition or your reasoning for birth & especially death certificate holds true that even I have started thinking in your favor!.Everytime when I have to fill any form which has "place of birth" I used to keep my Birth certificate photocopy handy coz my birth place is bangalore or bengaluru & its written in Kannada.After reading that many questions will be posted by my friends.So in a way my birth certificate validates my truth.

outofthebox · Feb 26, 2013

LOL !!! I never knew that having certificates could also be interpreted this way!!!
Now you have what I call "out of the box" thinking!!! ;-)

iyerviji · Feb 26, 2013

Satchi dear now a days you are coming up with rear subjects . First thing I saw the time you wrote this because sometimes you are posting at 12 a.m. Do you sleep well. As it is you trouble yourself with your back pain and othe rproblems and give us humerous posts. But atleast in the night you should have a peaceful sleep. I know now since you are busy with your mother you must be getting time only in the night.

I will surely recommend Cheeniya Sir or Kamla to give you a Certificate for giving us humerous posts lying on your back side. You really deserve a Certificate my dear . May God bless you and give you good health so that we are able to read your thought provoking and humerous posts. Anyway I will now go and give my second nomination.

Kamalji · Feb 26, 2013

Dear Satchi,

HAHA. What to say to this one eh ! IL should give us a certificate for reading good blogs like this and posting our comments eh ! HAHA

Yes come to think of it, why the birth and the death ones i too now wonder. it could have been anybody who could have been born in our place, for our name is not there in the birth certificate. And dont u think we shou;ld have our own name parrents name, etc tatooed on our forearms, so in case we get lost in kumb mela, or we have alzermier, someone can deliver us to our home, in case we get lost eh !

Chew that one over, but surely a great thought pro oking blog, u have made a few hairs of mine white, for i have had to think after so many long years eh !!!

Regards

kamal

Mindian · Feb 26, 2013

Hilarious Sats ....never even thought about the so many certificates I have collected over the years. I find the birth cert most unnecessary. Am I not living proof that I exist? Imagine carrying around a paper saying that hey ,it is me and not my ghost.

And I am just an ordinary person, Now why on earth would someone want to impersonate Mindi and what could they possibly gain by that? On that rather interesting thought I will say goodnight and retire

Oh yeah just remembered that here I not only have our marriage cert in Marathi but also have a translated version in English. After so many years UK embassy last year wanted to see it before they issued my visa. I told K that I am flattered that they think we are in an inappropriate relationship. After all who wants to be the boring wife, nah?

And on that more interesting thought, I will really say Gnight and retire. LOL

aminroop · Feb 26, 2013

i wud gladly give u one. oh no, not for boring me. but for being a "super duper fun person to be with". nad ofcourse goes without saying for the "bestest snippets". im sure IL admin cud convert all ur finest posts into certificates or even trophies.

iyerviji · Feb 26, 2013

Satchi dear you will be happy to read the reply to my nomination by my dear Anna.

seethavarma · Feb 26, 2013

iyerviji said: ↑

Satchi dear now a days you are coming up with rear subjects . First thing I saw the time you wrote this because sometimes you are posting at 12 a.m. Do you sleep well. As it is you trouble yourself with your back pain and othe rproblems and give us humerous posts. But atleast in the night you should have a peaceful sleep. I know now since you are busy with your mother you must be getting time only in the night.

I will surely recommend Cheeniya Sir or Kamla to give you a Certificate for giving us humerous posts lying on your back side. You really deserve a Certificate my dear . May God bless you and give you good health so that we are able to read your thought provoking and humerous posts. Anyway I will now go and give my second nomination.
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Dear Satchi ma'am,
I dont know much abt ur problem,wishing that ur ortho gives u an absolutely Fit-fitness certificate!