My Soul mate was just next to me - 24

My whole day was just sitting in the room alone thinking about Karthik. I had almost dialed his number to speak to him then again I dint want to confuse him again and again. There was a song being played in one of the radio station which goes like

“Abhi na jao chod kar, kay dil abhi bhara nahin!!” that almost made me cry. I felt that song was written only for me and Karthik. I downloaded the song and played for a while. I missed the moments spent with him. I remembered the way he hugged me on the road just to scare me. Those long walks where he never used to leave my hand and the way he used to play with my hairs. I missed his dimple smile; I could never remember when he last smiled @ me. The guilt again started and in between I dozed off.

Evening mom and Kavya were so tensed; I had no tensions by now and decided I’ll be telling him everything. It was 7 in the eve;

Sanjay was out of my house talking on phone. I saw him through the window but deliberately wanted to avoid just before I was about to turn off he waved his hand and smiled as he was talking on phone. I waved back and opened the door but dint go out. After 10 mins he came inside had a chat with mom and asked mom,

“Atha mem idru baita povcha just for a chat we will be back in an hour.(Can we both go out just for a chat we will be back in an hour.)” he asked mom.
Even before mom replied I interrupted,

“We can talk on terrace only actually I am not feeling well. Its too windy outside.” I said and I was almost near the door.

“Ok” he said and we walked on to the terrace.

“Yemaindi?? Bagaunnava??(What happened? Are you alright??)” He was trying to know as I had told I was not keeping well.

“Sanjay, I had a break up recently with my boy friend and I am not ready for the marriage so early. I dint know yesterday you were coming home to see me, if I knew I would have tried cancelling it somehow.” I just wanted to spit it out.

“Hmm now I know... I don’t know what to tell. I need some time to decide on this” he said and was quiet for the first time.

“Even I need time to get into any relationship!” I said following his answer.

“Its not easy, I know! Take your time Hema. I will wait for you! ” I was shocked and asked

“You said you need time to decide??” I asked him

“I need time to think how much time I need to wait for you accept me. You know I don’t believe in this funda that gals shouldn’t have past. I don’t care about the past but I worry only about the present. Everyone have all the right to love someone, but only few get to feel that. There is no wrong, but when you accept me it’s only me in your life.” He said.

“Its very easy to tell now.. But how long will you wait and later in life you will keep this in mind and taunt me @ that moment. I don’t want to get into any relationship Sanjay. I am really sorry, I really appreciate your thought you can move on.” I said in 1 go.

“You can’t forget a person whom you loved if you are just being single. If I had to leave the thought of yours I would have stopped when you told about your past. I don’t know what your past gave you, but I promise there is a happier tomorrow for both of us.” He said and was about to leave. He came back and told

“I find no reasons to say no to you. If you feel so, you can tell out. Btw I am leaving to Australia tmrw for next 5 months. So take care, I hope we will be in touch.” He said he again came back and said

“If not ready to get into marriage and other stuff at least we can begin being friends. Let’s not worry whether we are marrying are not. At least we will be friends.” He said and was expecting an answer from me.

“I need time Sanjay!” I said, he just disappeared from my eye sight.
After that probably Sanjay had told his mom that I was not ready for marriage. She called and was sharing that’s Okie. We are still relatives and friends. After that I never heard of Sanjay I got very busy in my work I travelled to Sydney on work for 2 months. It was a better me now. Meanwhile I spoke to Len and Neeta as I had cut off from everyone. They were happy for me coz there was no Karthik topic in my life. Its not that I had completely over come Karthik, but I never shed a tear. I had become stronger than earlier.

Jiju was the happiest seeing me cheerful these days, it was Kavya’s baby shower function and it was celebrated too good way as we were excited to see a small baby @ home. As I knew Sanjay and his mom were expected but I could see only his mom attending the function and later in the eve I saw him outside the gate waiting for his mom. I walked to him and said
“Just because we dint get married, it doesn’t mean you have to over react like this. You are always my family .Come inside.” I said. He silently followed me.

I had almost out of “The Karthik period” but dint want to get into the marriage and the mellow drama and clearly told mom that I am not getting married to anyone will be with you and take care of you. She was very much depressed and worried for me.
As Sanjay and his mom were leaving and we were seeing off them, he asked me

“Are we friends now??” he asked

“I never said we are not” I answered back

“But you never said we are friends also” he stood now

“I missed you a lottt Hema!” he said

“Sorry, I dint want to get back in touch with you and again give a false hope for you.” I said.

“So, you still haven’t thought of our marriage??” He asked me.

I saw near the gate mom, aunty, Prashanth were trying too hard to listen our conversation.

“Sanjay, this is very embarrassing. I dint ask you to wait I am really scared of marriage and managing relationship. And ” even before I completed
Mom came near me and she

“I want to see you getting married, that’s my last wish Hema. Cheppu evrno na pressure ninchi pelli cheskovadam kante ninnu ishtapade vad tho pelli cheskovadam manchdi Hema. (Because of my pressure than marrying some person, its better u marry a person who loves you.)You always listen to him, why not in this??” she said

“God will never give anyone a second chance, but this is your third chance. Paadu cheskovaddu Hema(Don’t spoil it Hema)” She cried.

“Maa please.. andari mundu intha scene create cheyaku.(Ma Please.. Stop creating scene infront of everyone.) Please leave it.” i shouted in front of everyone.

Mom stopped talking to me from that day. Day by day she looked weaker, slowly Kavya was also worried because of me and every time she talks to me and used to end up crying for me and mom. She delivered a baby boy, and was so happy I had new friend @ home> I felt very much alone and could not take mom’s silence. Nov 20th 2011 night I confessed with mom that I am ready to marry Sanjay!!

PS : MY NEXT POST ONLY BY MONDAY EVE HAPPY WEEKEND PPL