1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

My Story...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by enlightened, Jan 25, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. enlightened

    enlightened Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Unfortunately Rahii, there was no spark at all...
    Yes I want to stay in my marriage because of my kids , in-laws and parents...
    I respect my husband and wouldnt want to hurt him.
    My happiness is from my kids.I would'nt pull the ground beneath them for the sake of my selfish interests.
    Thanks Rakhii...yes, I was strong and I intend to regain my strength again.

     
  2. enlightened

    enlightened Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for understanding my plight GodIsOne...


     
  3. enlightened

    enlightened Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    371
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks dear Ansuya..

     
  4. niti123

    niti123 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    131
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    You already did. Now if the kids grow up and hear from their dad what u did, I dont think you will be able to justify ur act. You shud have walked out of the marriage and did watever you wanted than doing something behind his back. If you dont love ur husband anymore why dont you let him know. Do you think he doesnt deserve love which he can get from elsewhere, just like what you looked for desperately. And dont use kids as a shield. You arent doing kids a favour by staying in the marriage. Being a mother it was ur duty to be honest to them as well. Hope those little ones never know what transpired. And the worst part is that you have deserted another person as well. I am on a blame game spree but still I think, in both the aspects, on ur husbands part and your ex bfs part you are the one who has to take the blame than anyone else.
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2013
  5. MaritalBliss

    MaritalBliss Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,087
    Likes Received:
    1,323
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    No reasons u give can justify your actions. Ema is the ultimate betrayal in a marriage..not sure what u expected out of this when u say u do not want to hurt your family. You have already hurt them at the highest level. Now that this guy is giving u problems, u are regretting..else u will just carry on with him and have your husband too. U shld confess to yr DH and see if he wants to carry on with this marriage.
     
  6. maroon

    maroon Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    354
    Likes Received:
    277
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    All that one can advise you is to let the bygones be bygones and start afresh. Definitely, a bad phase of life but lets say it all ended well. Hold on, surrender to the almighty and confess to HIM. Will make you feel light and return to normalcy sooner.

    First things first - please remove all your personal details from this site. Close your FB account and erase anything and everything that might remind you of that person.
     
    3 people like this.
  7. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,299
    Likes Received:
    6,339
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    E, I am sorry that you are in a loveless relationship. And I am sorry that you have to stay in this relationship. It's extremely easy for me to say, "leave him if you don't love him". But if i really think about it, it's not that easy.

    Since you to live with hubby, my advise is NOT to tell him. Nobody wants to hear about spouses cheating on them. Cover your tracks, get off Facebook completely. If you have used any other mode of counication , severe that as well. To hell with honesty, honestly speaking; in this instance. If you want this relationship, do not confess.
    Might not be a popular view, but this is what I suggest.

    FYI, karma will catch up with you; no word of lie but it will not touch your kids for any misgivings of yours. So, don't worry about kids.

    You have to start working on making this relation work E. you deserve happiness. Try and try.
     
    5 people like this.
  8. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,942
    Likes Received:
    1,053
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Gender:
    Male
    The most relevent views are not necessarily popular. What Rakhii said above is exactly what I also want to tell you. YOu have to live with your hubby. Listen something from a man's point of view. Out of intense guilt, most women , after an extra marital affair, go to their husbands and confess their affairs.

    Sadly, very very few husbands............be it Indian or American would be able to forgive such an wife totally and emotionally. Whatever intense amount of guilt that drives you to confess your affair with your bf .......to your hubby, should be contained.

    Confessing is eqaulent to suicide.

    You got the point ?
     
    4 people like this.
  9. shyamalajh

    shyamalajh Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    217
    Likes Received:
    329
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Your BF sounds like a vindictive person. What if he tells your family uglier story than what really happened? Be sure of that part. If you doubt that may happen you are better off telling a cleaner version first. I don't know how careful you were.
    I know just a couple of marriages where wives cheated. Both ended, one took 2 yrs and the other one was immediate, husband didn't even try. It will be very difficult to live with guilt. But it would be selfish to tell just to get over your guilt. Some spouses may want to know and have the choice to end or continue(usually in marriages with no child). Some may hate you for cheating and then hurting by confessing and then making them feel guilty for not being able to forgive and ending the marriage. You will end up hurting them even more. You know your husband better. Your kids need not know this at all. If you tell your hubby that is the other risk. No guarantee that he will not tell them. They definitely need not know this. You might have erred as a wife and woman but you are the same mother. No need to confuse them.
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    2,517
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    So, if the derailed is back on track, problem solved.

    what will happen if the husband comes to know of this EMA? Even if not now, later in the course of life? Say, 10 years later?
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page