My Story...

The Original post by enlightened seems like very old.......and people still actively responding to it......!! Wondering what had happened to enlightened and her family.....Hope she might have had a nice patch up with her husband.........

 

I think she just posted it today.

 

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Even if it is what u want the most at the moment few marriages can survive an EMA...the enormity of the act and the guilt that ensues just makes it very hard .
Also much depends on the relationship you had with ur DH prior to the affair .How ur DH reacts to this and how willing he is to forgive and put this behind him....Lot of unknown variables.
You need help ..not from any of us..from a professional. Talk to a therapist and work through ur issues.

PS About God...he/she has better things to do than punish innocent kids. Don't let ur Ex.BF manipulate u anymore.

 

I can't stand cheating either but whatever happened don't tell ur husband it may backfire u.Try to resolve ur marital issues encourage him to talk to u more. My dh also doesn't talk at all it is kind of frustrating but we can not
force anyone to talk. You should try to become more attractive by going to spa get facial wear nice dresses make yourself irresistible. u might be knowing ur husband best what kind of dresses colors he likes try those on
and after that show him off but don't roam around him just be indifferent.Well in my case it did worked sometimes.

 

This might seem like a minor issue, but I'm going to focus on it anyway. I'm sure the posters before me dealt with all the important stuff.

Enlightened, I feel bad for you. You went from a loveless, indifferent relationship in your marriage to a cruelly manipulative one in your extra-marital affair. All considerations of right and wrong aside, what strikes me as noteworthy in this whole saga is that you have yet to find happiness in a loving, honest, mutually fulfilling romantic relationship. Obviously, I'm not aware of your pre-marriage experiences, but I'm guessing you wouldn't have been as accepting of your husband's neglect, or susceptible to the heart patient's "charms", if you had been in a good relationship before.

I hope that one day, you do find happiness, with whomever happens to be the right person for you. Until that day comes, focus on your health, and try to do the best for your children. Dwelling on the past is not going to serve you well, except as an occasional reminder to not take yourself for granted. You're better than all of this.

And no, I think I can say with certainty, God will not harm your children for whatever it is you think you've done wrong. I've heard tell God is loving, just, and merciful, not vengeful and petty. At least, I hope whatever God you believe in fits into the former category.

 

So now that you have decided to call it quits,be strong on that and avoid the person completely.Erase your social networking account,change your phone number and make sure there is absolutely no way he can contact you.Even if he calls or blackmails you with his health or god, have a "i don't care" attitude.

Now make a promise to god that you will be there for your family no matter what and make poojas for the wellbeing of your family.

Also divert your mind into some studies or hobbies and get yourself occupied.