Sandwitched between wife and mother

Thanks

 

Blame it on her harmones for now and please let her go thru delivery phase.Once she settles down with baby you may have open conversation.You are showing patience anyways so please be patient for some more time.I have seen cases where a new mom goes into depression due to N number of issues..Take care of her ....I understand your parents feelings too as its first kid but then right now your wife and unborn 's health and wellness is more important.Let her go thru postpartum and talk to her.If possible say the same to your mom.I am sure things will be settled down .

 

I think there may be any of the two possibilities :
either your wife is immature and want to gain control over you or
your mum is twisitng her words whenever she talks to her..Sometimes men dont understand the meaning behind mothers twisted talks..for eg: my mil before my dh and sil says to me that" You have changed my son completely he used to be a lion like his father and we used to think twice before saying anything to him but after marriage if you say stand he stands and sits if you say sit"
which is damn false and i understand what her meaning is ..but according to my hubby its a joke and his mother has a good sense of humour ..

I guess you both dont have a proper understanding between you.Dont stress her at this time dragging these topics,after her delivery and when she is in a positive mood discuss with her whats her problem and what is that she wants to do with it.Both settle on a middle ground .saying she has to call your mum every 10 days or so and even if she talks something which she doesnt like just dont take it to heart and leave it there.

 

both of you seem to be immature..... your still have a life ahead to get sandwitched between mom and wife ...

right now just concentrate on the coming baby.... you wont get such precious moments to enjoy again....
just ignore your wife's and your mom's comments...dont try to balance what they say or who is right or wrong .... leave it up them to think what they want.... you listen to both, but follow politely what you feel is correct

 

Yeah. Try posting in "Inlaws forum"

Also this is a ladies forum. If this was a thread started by a female, I am sure she would have got more replies and "better" replies than "font size" and "carrots". That has been the trend here...

A phrase suits your situation perfectly. " Love is blind but marriage is an eye opener".

Welcome to married life and more than that since this is your first post - Welcome to IL...

 

you missed the pun in anothergal's post.

 

You will not get the best advice in this forum. The best advice you NEED is already given by her uncle, follow it to the letter! Stand firm and do not yield. Do not fight right now and let all her acts go for now until the baby is born. Thereafter let your voices be heard firmly again. As her uncle already acknowledged, you know where her biggest influence is coming from - her mom! With that influence, she wants you to be liker her father. Dont become that under any circumstances, otherwise you will hate your life severely and become one more statistic in the public records . You need to open your eyes, set your ego aside and understand plainly - you said she is a beautiful & lovely girl, that explains her limited intellect, which allows her to fall prey easily to petty politics and external influence. Hang in there, dont yield and it will get better.

 

Agree with the previous poster. Your wife is plain stubborn and one cannot just cut ties with family. Dont hide from your wife and talk to your parents in the office. If she wants to sulk, let her! She has to realise that she is not some god sent angel on this earth.

 

I started to read but lost patience after a few lines. I do not intend to be rude when I say this.

A man has completed his first phase of life as a son - time to just briskly move on to the next phase in a clean and clear manner - a husband and stay focused on this till "death do us part". Not to mean that he should discard his previous ties but there must be a clear shift in priorities. I do not know how many more husband/MIL/FIL posts I need to read before men get the concept and in terms with the reality that this balancing act between parents and wife/kids will not and does not work.

Aamrapali

 

:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl

:bonk:bonk:bonk:bonk

Dear 12adityas - your narrow minded view really cracked me up :coffee

Dear sandwitched - Let your wife and mil handle their relationship themselves - unless something happens between them in front of you !!

Till then just stand firm in front of your wife's emotional blackmail (yes, thats what it is!!!) and continue talking to your family, just dont tell her to talk... if you wanted to inform them about vacations or ask advices from them etc, go ahead, but you be the channel of communication, dont force them to speak to each other, dont tell them about each other !!

Once the baby is born, and she settles down, you can ask her problem and listen carefully with an open mind - and come to a compromise