baby distancing from me

Shilpa Pratheep · Nov 28, 2012

I am stay at home mom who does every thing for baby including cooking,feeding putting her to bath and sleep, taking her to garden etc. Of late she seem to be ignoring me. She prefers her grandparents and dad over me.While playing too if any of them leaves she will call for them, but when I leave she does not bother.
Now she is gone to extent of asking me to leave her sight while I call her to feed or play.She stays with me when none of them are there.
I feel really hurt cos I love her so much and feel rejected.
Has any one faced such situation?

vjbunny · Nov 28, 2012

Hi Shilpa
Hugs dear Yes I have read some posts with same issue... dont worry the baby is still young will learn to attach to you... ... Since you are busy with chores I think baby gets all attention from others while you work so... try to spend more time with her and play with her

Padmash · Nov 28, 2012

Shilpa dont worry dear.. Man y baby do like this and many mother's face this.. Don't blame anyone.. It is good she is attached to everyone.. She is attached to you too but she may be enjoying with them more. When we do all the household work we can't play with the kid that time, then kids get attached to other members in the family.. this is actually a good sign.. Dont feel rejected, if you feel really worse the do one thing.. Try to spend some more time with your baby alone.. means completely alone and hug her, play with her, make her laugh.. do it few times.. she will find you more interesting than others.. but dont think about this more.. as you u have many people at home then kid cant run to everyone equally..

ranjoose · Dec 2, 2012

Shilpa,

Don't stress yourself about this. Since she sees you throughout the day, she just needs a change. My son used to do it when he was little and does it even now sometimes. He is 3. But when I leave him and go out, he starts asking his dad for me till i come back and as soon as I come back he hugs me so tight.

I guess kids take us moms for granted knowing that we will do everything for them without expecting anything. But they sure miss us when we are not around. You will feel it soon.. So don,t worry

Shilpa Pratheep · Dec 2, 2012

Thanks for all your reply.
I feel as ranjoose said, DD is getting too much of me, thats why I have left her free and dont force her to do anythng. Hope things improve.

Nitha J · Dec 14, 2012

Shilpa;
House-work will never end; but the kids grow fast...you know childhood memories are often the most cherished memories.

It is hard to find time particularly for stay at home mom. If you are working ; then one would have a schedule as they have to get out of house. So; I would say that you organise your time a little(that is if you are not doing it) For example; like not entering kitchen till 10.30 AM to 11.30 AM as that time is dedicated for your kid (not to bathe the kid or feed the kid); just to play with the kid or to sing with the kid or read to her or do crafts with her or run around with her.
Likewise pick an hour in the evening like 5 PM to 6 PM; that is again a mom-kid time; take her to park or go for a walk or go to vegetable shopping or to temple. When you go with her; just don't hold her hands and walk silently. Talk to her ;encourage her to pick the vegetables; teach her the names of the vegetables or do the things that will make the trip always enjoyable; and that she looks for that special hour with you.

You know we parents also take our kids for granted. Just because we brought them to this world or we feed them on time; put nice dress on them; does not ensure that the kids will love us. Bonding with kids is an important thing.
We always prioritize our chores ; wash clothes before 9; grind batter before 10; make lunch; feed the kid and put them to bed; then think about dinner; then prepare the dinner. While we do all this; we are automatically putting our kids "emotional needs" behind; not because we love them any less; we love them the most in the world; but still not show it on face value. What the kid sees is that the mother is always prioritizing the work; and is no-fun; while the grandparents have all the time in the world to entertain them. Make a conscious effort to change it; you need not give all your time just ensure that the time you spend with her; is just to talk or play with her. always remember; It is the quality not the quantity that matters and the kids will always love their mother; unless the mother's are horribly bad)

Best wishes
Nitha

Shilpa Pratheep · Dec 19, 2012

Nitha J said: ↑

Shilpa;
House-work will never end; but the kids grow fast...you know childhood memories are often the most cherished memories.

It is hard to find time particularly for stay at home mom. If you are working ; then one would have a schedule as they have to get out of house. So; I would say that you organise your time a little(that is if you are not doing it) For example; like not entering kitchen till 10.30 AM to 11.30 AM as that time is dedicated for your kid (not to bathe the kid or feed the kid); just to play with the kid or to sing with the kid or read to her or do crafts with her or run around with her.
Likewise pick an hour in the evening like 5 PM to 6 PM; that is again a mom-kid time; take her to park or go for a walk or go to vegetable shopping or to temple. When you go with her; just don't hold her hands and walk silently. Talk to her ;encourage her to pick the vegetables; teach her the names of the vegetables or do the things that will make the trip always enjoyable; and that she looks for that special hour with you.

You know we parents also take our kids for granted. Just because we brought them to this world or we feed them on time; put nice dress on them; does not ensure that the kids will love us. Bonding with kids is an important thing.
We always prioritize our chores ; wash clothes before 9; grind batter before 10; make lunch; feed the kid and put them to bed; then think about dinner; then prepare the dinner. While we do all this; we are automatically putting our kids "emotional needs" behind; not because we love them any less; we love them the most in the world; but still not show it on face value. What the kid sees is that the mother is always prioritizing the work; and is no-fun; while the grandparents have all the time in the world to entertain them. Make a conscious effort to change it; you need not give all your time just ensure that the time you spend with her; is just to talk or play with her. always remember; It is the quality not the quantity that matters and the kids will always love their mother; unless the mother's are horribly bad)

Best wishes
Nitha
Click to expand...

Thanks Nita for the reply.
I feel I spend quality time with baby.
I do all the household chores while she is asleep.
The only thing I do while she is awake is cooking.
We spend 2 hrs every in evening alone in park n library.
before sleep we have 1 hr of time exclusively where no one is allowed in room when we enact stories give massage and sing songs together.

I feel the problem is grand parents give every thing with out saying no .
Like junk food, letting her play in balcony even on cold days etc.
Also I am the one who does things she doesnt like. Like taking her to doc , giving her head bath, giving her syrup etc.
When i ask them do these task they simply back off saying we cant see the baby crying, you do it as you arer mother.