Lost Identity

Dear Mals

That's a very nice story...! You are really very talented...!

-Gayathri.

 

Wonderful Mals! Hats-off to you! You had me completely immersed in the story. I even have a face in mind for Viji, Rajesh and Neeta now! Such a realistic narration.

Now, for the actual message in your story. We needed it, we loved it and we got inspired by it! We could not have received a better gift on this day.

I have always believed that to gain love we should not have to lose ourselves. To me, and I am sure to most women, this sense of self is our lifeline. If we lose it, we are dead. Having said that, how many of us can keep this perspective and not give-in to unreasonable demands from society and sometimes from home? Like you said, we have to keep a thorough check on ourselves to not succumb to the pressures.

I agree with dear Chithra (Chitvish) that the older generation was expected to make themselves “one” with the new family so much so that their individual self was not evident even a bit. And that’s why we have such great admiration for you dear Chithra! To come from a state of being just "one" after marriage, you have reached a state where both the individual and the “one” personalities successfully co-exist! Not just co-exist, but both personalities excel - hats-off to you!

Although such extreme expectations like the ones from the previous generation are probably not there today, I do feel that the expectation has not completely gone away. It has probably taken a different form, may be a more severe form even. Today, women are expected to be deft at both home and at work. Husbands would love their wife to be dutiful and a little “take a back seat” types at home but appreciate her take charge and leadership attitude at work that makes her a successful professional. They love her confidence at work and in a social setting, but that same confidence when exhibited at home is sometimes looked at as “thinking too high of herself”. These are a few examples of how women are expected to perform and excel on many fronts some of which are so contradictory to each other. And the list goes on increasing with the passing of each year.

Of course, this has brought us women a tremendous sense of achievement and confidence to name a few positives. But the fact that it has increased the expectation from us still holds true.

And that’s why Mals, your story holds so much more importance to all of us here. It is an eye-opener of sorts. To me, it gives two very important messages. One, to realize that we must tune ourselves very closely to the changing needs of the ones we love and wish to be loved by, and, proactively work on being that lovable person. Second and probably the more important message, we must do this makeover for ourselves first and then for someone else.

A lengthy FB, but your lovely and inspiring story forced me to indulge! Thoroughly enjoyed reading your story!

SS

 

Dear Malspie,

Lovely story and a very neat style of narration! I enjoyed it a lot, more so since it sounds so real, ....many of us go through these stages. Some of us realize like Viji and take control of ourselves. But many don't have this inner fire to analyse and take charge of their lives!
But felt glad to see the story ended and Viji working hard to get back her Lost identity! A very apt story , like all the others have already said, for Woman's Day! Bow
Great job, keep them coming!

 

Hi Mals:

Lovely narration. An apt one for Woman's day as well.

I just hope that there will be a time when we don't have to have a special day to celebrate womanhood and remind everyone around about it. But until such time, if it helps towards the larger good of womankind - Happy Woman's day!

Sindhu

 

Hi Mal,

Really a lovely story. Sometimes we completely loose the touch with our true self. As a result of this, we get cranky and all the relationship goes out of [FONT=&quot]rhythm[/FONT].

We so much ignore everyone and feel proud for our scarifies. However, what we really need is to be ourselves first or 'Discover our true self' as you suggested.

Thanks for your gentle reminder.

Cheers
Parul