Drama at wedding.... Sorry for long post..

Friends,
Sharing this incident with you happened a few months befor when went back
Home India for sis wedding...Since then relations with mil are so strained that it has affected my relations with Dh too. So sorry fr long post but jus want to make my heart light.

My sis while working overseas met her life partner ( earlier childhood frnd)
N all in family excited for the d day of wedding were all set to celebrate.
Me n kids too flew down to India to help for wedding preparations a week b4 wedding.
Mom had already invited everyone in list incl my mil personally gifting with special saree. She invited guests which my parents n Sis thought were close. However from the day my hubby landed my mil started sending msgs thr him asking for wedding cards to invite guests from my in law side.
My parents were bit furious with this intervention ignored it so did I as all the preparations as per invitee list n budget was already set.

A day before wedding for one function as invited she came at parents home along with uninvited relative. Since the house was full of guests n ppl from sis' groom side started pouring in there was space shortage . Amongst them there was one handicapped and two elderly ladies in their 80s. To give them space I requested my mil to shift to other room for some time and after making space called her n the guest again...
She was perfectly ok with it that time. Once function was over however she conveyed thr Dh next day the wedding day that I insulted her n the guest. I was totally dressed n decked up all excited for wedding n hearing this tears rolled down my eyes. my mind was clear with no intentions on insulting...my parents n some relatives who witnessed knew the fact. I immediately called her to apologize for misunderstanding n pleaded her to come but she gave excuses that she is unwell n can't come. My parents too tried to convince her but she said FIL will be thr to attend. I was shocked to see my Fil reached with some uninvited guests...n felt embarrassed in front of my parents. I was fed of giving excuses to all guess came over answering why MIL didn't come n gossiping spread all over place by the end of the day spoiling my n my parents mood. My Dh was too upset but was acting helpless as he didn't want to hurt his mom' feeling...I felt her behavior so Immature that I totally avoided the topic discussing with her or anyone except Dh .

On top that she conveyed MSG again Dh to attend wedding of some distant family frnd with her as now she was perfectly fine in a day. Of course I was so angry that I gave excuse sweetly that I m too tired due to wedding previous day n with guests still at home.
Anyways I tried to 4get the memories while left India after few days,
But cant 4get how badly my parents are hurt that they hv even declared that
They will nt invite her for any family functions as god knows due to which reasons her ego will hurt n will spoil their mood their events
While Dh with his silent treatment giving all guilt feeling to me. I
Feel totally trapped n can see sour relations betn parents n in laws.

 

Thanks DRK feeling better reading your post. Guess we think alike.
Uninvited guests bothered me may be coz I don't go anywhere as uninvited guest
Nor I take anyone with me who is nt invited. So was wondering how can my own family member can do.
Also even it's sis wedding it was budget of my retired parents who even when I offered financial help didn't take a single penny from me out of self respect. N during wedding I overheard discussion between parents n helping family friends that guest count at lunch counter increased than expected including obvious pinpointing at guests came with Fil...that hurt me more...

 

Yes Monita, guess living abroad I forgot how Indian mindset works in weddings.
Instead of enjoying and celebrating joy helping each other in such events - people try to pull each other and pamper their egos expecting royal treatment .
Just being a Indian male's mother itself grants a lifetime of pride that all from girl' side has to take care of their ego leaving their joys aside . Thankfully I could see the diff in throughout functions n even after that how understanding My sis ' in laws were as they were treating the events as our event and making atmosphere friendly n light without any demands or expectations during wedding unlike during my wedding. In fact they were joking that we want to see you all happy as you will have enough brief that we are taking your daughter ( my sis) away from you as our own daughter.

 

Thanks SowmyaRam,
me Not at all hurt with the interrogation
All I can say is it was not my children' s wedding arranged by me n Dh where she has all Say n importance .
It was event arranged by my parents and had full right whom to invite n whom to not. Yes the uninvited guests were relatives I knew from MilS side of course with whom my parents n sis were not knowing.
Yes in anger my parents have said they will not invite her which I kno they can never do in reality but as formality not as before as imp family member whom they want to attend out of love n respect

Mil conveyed her hurt feeling thr Dh overtly she is behaving with me as if nothing has happened.
So me too was conveyed my clarification thr Dh which she had got.
Btw if any thing wrong hurting her ego is done by me with intention or not why the punishment to
My parents who did nothing in fact were introducing her with me personally with the new family. Well I guess her expectations are some more.. N now thet really don't care abt it as they had enough of it during n even after my wedding