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Do you and hubby go out without the kids

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Oct 9, 2012.

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  1. Oct 9, 2012 #11
    Visasri

    Visasri Platinum IL'ite

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    My DD is only 4 months old, I am still with parents. She is on formula feed so my DH takes me out to temples and shopping places nearby, of course to shop for her things. But last week I had to buy chain for her and had to take some cash and left her with mom as usual. The LO did not even look at me till night and never made sounds at me but was quite normal with my mom, dad and bro and even her dad. It was me she was angry at
     
    Visasri, Oct 9, 2012
    Visasri, Oct 9, 2012
    #11
    1 person likes this.
  2. Oct 9, 2012 #12
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Maybe I should add maids to the question: If you have young kids, and no family/relatives nearby and no reliable maid, do you go out often without kids.

    It does make sense for husband and wife to spend some time regularly just with each other, so they have a strong bond, relationship and marriage and that will help deal with life's monotony, chores and if any big challenges come along.

    If parents/in-laws or some family live nearby or there is a very reliable (live-in) maid, the scenario is different. It is easier to step out. If a babysitter needs to be hired, kids made ready for her to babysit, give her instructions etc like we see in the movies, then after all that one would just stay home due to being drained. IMO :)

    Maybe if there are friends living nearby who have kids of similar age, we can swap babysitting with them. But, I found in my friends circle, not many were interested in the idea.

    It is my guess that as Indians we are very wired to being parents. The idea of taking time out for ourselves when kids are very young seems alien.

    Once of twice, on our anniv. or some special day, if we were visiting family or they were visiting us, people just pushed us out the door, and said go watch a movie, have dinner .... we went, but didn't enjoy it.

    What works for us is meeting when kids are in school. Or even better, late Saturday afternoon, and both kids are at their friends' places, we are home alone... and each has a sofa to lie down on and nap. phone switched off. :)
     
    Rihana, Oct 9, 2012
    Rihana, Oct 9, 2012
    #12
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  3. Oct 9, 2012 #13
    justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Been through phases where we had no family/nanny/maids to help..heres what worked for us...
    workday lunches (when kids are in school)-reschedule meetings to leave urself free from 11.30 -1.30 atleast a few times a month. Sometimes we go to a rest...but mostly we do a take out..sit in a near by park and have a small picnic and talk . We have been doing this for many many years now.
     
    justanothergirl, Oct 9, 2012
    justanothergirl, Oct 9, 2012
    #13
  4. Oct 9, 2012 #14
    apaasn

    apaasn Gold IL'ite

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    Yes we do. My kid goes to a play school on Fridays. And DH works from home on Fridays, so Friday afternoons me and Dh go for a movie, play tennis,go get pedi-mani,go bowling,sometimes if he has too much work we just stay at home and catch up on tv shows.
    Dh suggested a baby sitter and we tried it twice but I just couldn't proceed with it.not only was I guilty but it felt like we are a family now and we can't just leave one member at home with a sitter especially since my kid loves being outside the house!
     
    apaasn, Oct 9, 2012
    apaasn, Oct 9, 2012
    #14
  5. Oct 9, 2012 #15
    OneLifeToLive

    OneLifeToLive New IL'ite

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    Lately , my hubby and I have been going out for lunch alone . He takes a longer lunch break and we go out . I personally like having this time alone with my husband .

    This summer, my husband and I went out without the kids for the very first time . The kids spent the night at the Boys and Girls Club which conducted the sleepover . It was a large group of kids with many adults watching them. They had many activities that kept them busy like an evening swim session, crafts, movies, dinner and other games. We dropped them off at around 6p.m. and picked them up at 7:30 a.m. the next day .
    My husband and I met another couple ( whose kids were also at the sleepover) for dinner , some time at a dance and then almost an hour at the beach .
    My older one is almost 9 and for us it was a "grown up" night out after more than 10 years. I personally am not comfortable leaving my kids with just one person (babysitter) watching them all night . I prefer larger groups of kids and grown ups - just makes me feel better if there are more adults watching them.
    The kids LOVED it and are already asking when they can do it again .
     
    OneLifeToLive, Oct 9, 2012
    OneLifeToLive, Oct 9, 2012
    #15
  6. Oct 9, 2012 #16
    SaleemaRex

    SaleemaRex Gold IL'ite

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    When the kids were younger we usually take them along with us (unless we had any of our parents over). For occasions like formal dinner, work outing, party, etc we used to leave the kids with babysitters.

    Now that the kids are older, we go out without them more often!
     
    SaleemaRex, Oct 9, 2012
    SaleemaRex, Oct 9, 2012
    #16
  7. Oct 10, 2012 #17
    Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

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    Whats the poitn in writing "no offense" ...when you are gogin to say things anyway... based on assumptions.

    With family/frends people feel safer ...that ijj the reason.
     
    Naksh, Oct 10, 2012
    Naksh, Oct 10, 2012
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  8. Oct 10, 2012 #18
    freddycat

    freddycat Platinum IL'ite

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    Rihana,

    Do you and hubby go out without the kids?

    Nope, We never did, our life revolved around the him.
     
    freddycat, Oct 10, 2012
    freddycat, Oct 10, 2012
    #18
  9. Oct 10, 2012 #19
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I thought I answered it earlier. We settled for meeting in the weekdays when they are in school. Few times, visiting relatives forced us to go out for a movie or dinner saying they'll take care of kids, we went, but didn't enjoy much. So, no, we don't go out without the kids much. But, now, kids are beginning to have sleepovers or whole day outings with friends, so we are getting more kid-free time.
     
    Rihana, Oct 10, 2012
    Rihana, Oct 10, 2012
    #19
  10. Oct 10, 2012 #20
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    No offence taken. But, it is not always about the money, at least for us. Why should babysitter cost more than actual food? We could go to an upscale place and spend more than we spend on babysitter.

    A hassle for one is a cakewalk for another :) For me, getting the kids and house ready for another person to be in-charge for 3-4 hours is a hassle. And, in my area, teenage or college kids from the neighborhood do not babysit, as they all have rich parents. :) So, have to find a reliable babysitter from craigslist etc, as no referrals from friends, and colleagues live far away for us to use their references.

    Like another poster said, I prefer a group setting where we can drop off kids rather than a lone adult taking care of them at home.
     
    Rihana, Oct 10, 2012
    Rihana, Oct 10, 2012
    #20
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