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feel like speaking / sharing with someone

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by DrKadambari, Oct 9, 2012.

  1. freddycat

    freddycat Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: feel like speaking / sharing with someone, i have only you folks

    DRK,

    It's time you extend your circle of friends. Like, going out to watch movies in theater, making a saloon visits together, shopping, lunches etc. Mostly, finding kids of same age group as yours would help.
     
  2. sarajara

    sarajara Gold IL'ite

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    Re: feel like speaking / sharing with someone, i have only you folks

    DR. Kadambari,


    Your husband is just facing a low esteem time.. he feels that he has done some mistake and feels inferior to his brother.

    from my point of view.. the assurance of his ability and strength should come first from the family.
    He needs some counselling and that needs to come from you only.

    1. Talk to him and ensure that he has not done any thing irresponsible to get in to this state.
    2. The planning for the family has to be done by both of you so that you can spot where the extra expense happens.
    3. list out the ways in which he had been a responsible husband and a father.
    4.Tell him that you are always proud to have him as your husband( note: this is the most important of all your words at this juncture as it would give him the mental strength and assurance of his own abilities)
    5. Talk in a promising way that you both can always work out to come out of this situation and plan for a better future.
    6. lastly make a point, not harsh, but strong that sitting alone and worrying would not bring any solution but only worsen the path further and with all ideas at hand you both can work out your ways to success.


    I am sure repeated talks on this and trying to make him engage in qualitytime with family ( you , him and the kid) would definitely help him to come out of this shell he had carved around himself.

    All The BesT!
     
  3. DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

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    Re: feel like speaking / sharing with someone, i have only you folks

    Thank you all for you words.

    I am trying to do activities on my own with kiddoo.... going unplanned randomly to park or shopping and having some quick snack / dinner... i started to do... never done in these many years of wedding.

    I can do this only on wkends... weekdays i dont have access to cars, he returns late in the evenings..

    I stopped contributing half of my pay to house expenses and saving. how much ever money is there, allas he spends out so if he does not have this still the boat will sail so from last month i am keeping it aside. This is to hv some initial payment to buy a car if i get an office job.
     
  4. veronica123

    veronica123 Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: feel like speaking / sharing with someone, i have only you folks

    Dear DRK,

    I can totally understand how you feel...I am in the same situation,except that my Inlaws are with me;) and I have access to the car...But rest all is the same,same old sulking from DH and hurtful comments from MIL and tortuous weekend visits from SIL and list does not end...

    I opened a thread to understand the "Ignore" policy,though I try my best there,I am not able to yet,their hurtful comments/acts keeps lingering in my heads..These days i am even scread of weekends..lol..

    Thanks.
     
  5. malarun

    malarun Gold IL'ite

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    Re: feel like speaking / sharing with someone, i have only you folks

    Hi Dr.K
    I just wish to say you are not alone in this world and you have company and that is me...
    He is caring and talks wiht me when he has issues but he most of the time goes to his shell...
    I am not able to write an elaborate reply as I loaded with work in office and I am renovitng my house and house shifting. Will try to reply with two weeks :D


    Thanks
    Malar
     

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