Domestic violence

Sadly India is filled with psychopaths!! a man hitting a woman is totally unacceptable and the woman not wanting to leave her abusive husband in the name of love sounds even more sad ( or even stupid) !! Remember when someone goes though an abusive behavior, physical or mental, they tend to loose confidence in themselves. In this case, where he has hit her so badly that scars seem to appear, she must have really lost it! Advice her to tell her parents and take the steps to move out... No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. Just help her gain her confidence and ask her to move out! This guy is clearly a psychopath, showing all his power on a woman!! He is just manipulating her, saying he loves her and all..Now who in their right mind would hurt someone so badly if they love them... This guy clearly wants to use her like a slave!! when she doesnt obeys, he over powers her with his physical power!! she is much better of alone!!

though this seems like the right thing to do, i wouldnt suggest this either! God knows what that psycho might do next!! Just give her enough confidence to move away from him... this relationship is not going to work and he is definitely not going to change...

 

I am not quite sure how your friend reached out to you. I hope you remain in touch with her. In any case, she should have some contact information for help. Try: Women's refuges - Shelter England
There have been some very high-profile domestic violence & honor killing cases in the UK recently, involving South Asian families. The authorities have been "sensitized". Were your friend to seek help, I am certain she would get it.

'I can still see the horror that made me flee Pakistan - in the haunted eyes of girls raised HERE': Nadira Naipaul exposes arranged marriages and honour killings in the UK | Mail Online
Shafilea Ahmed murder: UK urged to act against 'honour' crimes | UK news | guardian.co.uk

I hope you both have other common friends in the UK who can help. Tell her that she needs ensure her safety and put some distance between herself and the current situation before she is able to think clearly about her husband / marriage & long-term options.

Of course I am not trying to be lurid here - I am simply trying to point out that help is close at hand and it is up to her to find it. She will not be ignored as long as she can find the strength to walk out. The efforts to isolate her, the visible injuries and quitting her job - these do not bode well.

 

Her husband might be having some psychological problem and making him what he is doing.

Its better she speaks this to her parents, no parents would digest to know that their girl is getting abused. Let her not give a bigger shock. Irrespective of what her dad's health is she has to tell them.
Keeping it secret will just not help here. Stress on this.

And baby OMG, i dont know what to say.

People saying education teaches people being bold.. thats utter bull****.

 

as shocking as it sounds, your friend's story is not that uncommon. a LOT of it has to do with upbringing and conditioning. homely, huh? there is a subliminal message that essentially teaches you to not value yourself, that the honor and family name in society is of far greater importance than self-respect and happiness, that no matter how educated you are, without a man around you cannot measure your own self-worth.

she is in a dire situation. pregnant, physically, mentally and emotionally abused. cut off from the outside world. without a job. without family support. i think it's very hard to know the mind-set of woman who stays on in a DV situation. for outsiders, it's hard to fathom how extremely corrosive DV can be to a woman's self-esteem, courage and confidence. it makes no difference whether you are educated or not, rich or poor, working or not working, it's like existing in quicksand.

i hope, for her and the baby's sake, she can remove this piece of scum from their lives and move on to a safer, secure and better future. please make sure to keep in touch with her and offer her support.

 

In the USA, you can call the police and have a situation investigated. Seems that should be the same in the UK. OP, why don't you just call the police in her city and have them find out her situation. I am very concerned that he is going through stages of isolation that may end up with him imprisoning her.

 

she has to discuss with his husband then of course she has to tell every thing to her parents as well as her in-laws..i my opinion she has to call police for her safety..and police will give advise to his husband..he will never try to beat her..think this will work..or husband and wife both has to go for marriage counselor..domestic violence is crime..her husband try to manipulate her by saying i love you..if you really love some one you will not hurt them..

 

Dear OP,
Sorry to be rude but why inform/call the guy's bro and parents? Do you think they will help her and call their son insane , psychopath? :spin
No doubt they will tell your pal to tolerate and be a good wife.:bonk
If you really want to help her contact her family , her friends not her BIL ans PILs.
Her father will survive the news trust me.Its only in films that a person gets heart attacks after a phone call.
Tell her to go home to her parents for delivery.
No one will raise an eyebrow and she will be saved from the daily dose of slaps.:hide:

 

She has to stand for herself and get rid of this marriage. Get her couseling --if she needs courage to get out of this abuse. Immediately help her get out of that home and such slavery, that's the best you could do as a friend and a well wisher.

 

You have called HIS family members??????? In what way do you think they will help her? I am not sure if you have helped your friend with this.
If she wants to abort the baby or not is her decision. But she should get away from this maniac as soon as possible!
A pregant lady should avoid any kind of unnecessary stress. Being around him is too dangerous for her and
the unborn child! I would say she needs HER family and friends, people who truely care about her right now!