need to vent!!

@psych - if your DH wants to call his father for 5 days,then make sure he is responsible for the financial stuff for him..because coming for 5 days to america from india is insane even when money is in excess...you dont be bothered about this FIL trip...he can come and go on husbands financial reserves..let hm bear the loss and realize it himself..cant do anything for such people..they have to be burnt more than once to become shy in the long run..

as for your dad,let him keep his schedule as is and make it very clear that he is NOT going to leave in 5 days whatever stupid reasons mite arise, as he is planning on spending time with both brother and you..once he lands if possible set him up at your brothers place for 5 days and then get him over to your place.

for your SIL'S marriage,just keep out of it as it involves lying..even if things were honest enough,it would not have been recommended to get involved in SIL's matters especially those pertaining to marriage...but out of good will one is getting involved then atleast the grounds should be honest enough!

 

i think you had mentioned that your dad was cooking for everyone last time including your in-laws,without them pitching in at all..plus your dad being handicaped..its too much of a favour your dad is doing for in laws..so this is one reason, its better he stays there,without having to serve in-laws...its not his responsibility..try to manage cooking for 5 days and just ignore the taunts from FIL...its better than having your dad do the cooking and later having pented emotions for this.

next is its better to keep both set of parents away from each other..if you meddle up, the odds of your dad having a good time there will be jeopardized,and in turn it can affect your married life as time goes by...it will be like a competition in-laws will have of how much the son is doing to their own parents and his in-laws..obviously what son does to in-laws wont be digested easily by the sons parents.

for a comfortable stay better to keep both set of parents segregated.

 

Well if he is coming only for 5 days don't create a fuss. Your dad can stay at your bro's place. Please do not let your dad cook. It is very tiring for them at their age. Ask your husband to pitch in.

 

hi

i think you need to be very clear to FIL, that you have already planned your father's visit, maybe after a while we can think about bringing both ILs together to US. Travelling to US for 5 days.. is really weird, cause travelling itself takes 20 hours!!!! i think you need to say cut and dry, FIL will take you to US later.

 

visiting US for 5 days... seriously sounds ridiculous. Your husband should drop a hint to his parents that this is financially bad decision. Not you, your husband. If you let them do this one time, they will expect that its okay to do again. because it was convenient for them and you didn't say you had any problem managing.

Your husband can easily convey that tickets are expensive on short notice.. And the expenses are too much for a week's visit. Plus, it would be too strainful for him to travel both ways, deal with jetlag etc.

Ask your husband to explain softly that he would rather reschedule it to some other time because dad I want to spend some time with you and the week you are here I will be working full week ( since, out of vacation time, I used it all up for India). Please plan it so that atleast we get to spend some time together. And of-course, tickets are too expensive for such a short duration and that too on short notice..

Your Fil may mind and get angry for little while, but truth of the matter is that idea to visit US for a week unless its a business trip is ridiculous. At his age, traveling itself is difficult, and he wnats to do 2-way travel in a week. Explain it to your husband how it will be too tiring for him and you both will be busy and not available enough to take care of him in that condition. Also mention if he has any medical condition and that it might play up in case its too strainful for him.