mommy of 2 month and 2 yr old....need help

gsb · Jul 8, 2012

Hello Ladies,
I really need some specific kind of suggestion, advices or plans regarding my situation.

I have one 2 yr old daughter and another just 2 months old daughter. I want to know, if anyone in my kind of situation....how did you run errands around home. My main concern is feeding my both girls.

when I feed my LO, older one tries to snatch boppy pillow:drowning:drowning. When I'm feeding my older one, LO starts crying. How did you manage with your shower and other daily activites. The main problem is that I cannnot leave my LO alone for a minute because my 2 yr old wants to play with her all the time. Both of them don't understand anything.

So please you all experienced ladies, I need some practical advices, ideas and daily routine plan from you all.

Thanks all for your valuable time to read and reply.

vjbunny · Jul 8, 2012

Hi GSB
I think you need to teach your toddler (2year iold) to play with her infant (2month old) sibling under your guidance this will allow her to love her sibling else will result in her thinking of infant as usurper of her right to love and pampering from her parents will eventually lead to rivalry feelings...

On other points let us wait till some experienced mom guides you..

sashacurios · Jul 8, 2012

my sis has similar situation... one very important thing you need to do is you should never leave the elder one alone with lil one without your guidance, always keep an eye on the elder one beause she is at such a age where she can run into somethings harmful if you take your eyes off her! Also she doesnt know anything so she doesnt know what to and not to do with the LO... there also you need to always watch the kids when they are together... make her play with the LO and encourage her to do... but never leave the kids alone together until she is old enough to know the difference. At such a situation its always better to have another help around the house(like you mom,mil ) who can keep an eye on the elder one, when you take care of LO.

gsb · Jul 8, 2012

@sasha: I think that you got my problem very well. My olderone wants to play with her all the time and LO is too little to understand that! That's thing, my mom is here but now she is leaving next week....

you all experienced ladies, I really need some experienced suggestions....I'm eagerly waiting.

MiaSen · Jul 8, 2012

Hi,
I have experienced what you are going through. I had similar situation, but mine were born 2years and 3 months apart. I knew it would be very stressful, so went to India for delivery, stayed there for some time and when I came back, this is how i managed.
1. Get up a little early in the morning. Take bath and have some food when your hubby is around so that he can look after the kids.
2. It will be practically impossible to get your chores done when both of them are awake. I hired a maid or baby sitter who could help me with my 2nd one. So i used to make my son sleep and then cook lunch. So you could hire someone for help at least for couple of hours, so that they can handle your kids and you can finish your work or vice versa.
3. Try to put the eldest child in a day care (say for half days) - which will be beneficial for her as she is already 2years and will get to be around kids. You too will get some free time.
It is a hard time basically because you can never trust and leave both of them alone even for a minute - you have to be very careful.
Think well and do what suits you. These are the two options I had. Though it was pricey, we had to do it, as I needed some peace of mind.
One of a friend used to leave her daughter with her neighbour who is indian and also was willing to take care of her. I felt that she was too lucky to have someone like that, because generally such people are hard to find.
Hang on - This will pass fast as they grow up together and you can relax after a couple of years.
Hugs and wishes...

gsb · Jul 8, 2012

Thanks a lot MS for your reply.
I have already started waking up early and finish half of the chores.
But I am totally confused between two options 1. nanny 2. daycare

the thing is if I hire a nanny then I don't have to go out to drop and pick up the older one from day care. The place where I live, gets very cold during winter. so it is really big hassle to bundle up the little one and get ready for drop off and pick up. My hubby is the only earning member, so we can afford half day of day care not full day. Also I am not working right now because I never want to put my kids at daycare from very small age.

If I go for nanny option, then my older one doesn't get the company of kids of her age. Before my second kid, we used to go to different mommy and me classes. So she was not bored at home all the time and got company of her age.

There is a lot of things going on in my mind right now.....:confused2:

Ladies, please keep pouring your suggestions

MiaSen · Jul 9, 2012

I agree that daycare option is costly, but think - for how long are you going to do this? Hardly a year or two till you take up some job?
We have been living on single salary for 3 years now and the country i live in is one of the most expensive places in the world. We have been sending our kids to daycare - elder one for 4 days and the younger one was going for 2 days. I made sure not to keep both of them at home on the same day.
I had sometime to do laundry, shopping and some ME time. DH used to drop my DD and I used to drop my DS. Picking up is a big issue, but I can handle it for an hour when I had a stress free day.
For us - hubby had hectic schedule then and I am not good at looking after babies all day waiting for hubby to come back. Our peace of mind was more important to us.
We decided to put aside financial worries. For the last 2 years our savings was almost nil, but now we are back on track as one goes to school and other goes to day care for few days a week. Life is easy now. I KNOW - its not possible for everyone, but am just giving you another angle to think about this.

One more thing - putting kids in daycare early is not something wrong. I spoiled my son keeping him with me all time. So I sent my daughter from 7months. I can see how different they are. There are lots of positives for kids when they go to daycare - again it depends on the kind of daycare you get. We are lucky to have one such.

Decide what works better for you.
My Best wishes...

gsb · Jul 9, 2012

Thanks a lot MS for your suggestions! We can afford sending one daughter to daycare but it's just that I'm worried about the future. When we have to put both of them in daycare! But then I realized that let's just think about present, not future.

But I'm still confused about nanny and daycare option:spin

I guess you are the only one on IL with such kind of experience! pls you all experience ladies, I really need help.