Parents that didn't teach you life skills

Loving2011 · Jun 25, 2012

I don't like to ues the word "It's your fault" or "You are to blame", because it just makes the other person feel worse. There are other ways to help the person propel forward. I've noticed that some people from toxic and dysfunctional families tend to blame themselves when the reality is is that they're acting and living based on what they know.

If you came from a healthy and happy family that gave you the opportunity to flourish, then yes-Perhaps you failed to take the opportunity to better yourself. If we look at someone like Jaycee Dugard, we can blame her abducter/rapist for sheltering her and her children, and not letting them see the outside world. I wouldn't tell Jaycee "It's your fault and your own inadequacies for not leaving him and calling the cops."

I use Jaycee Dugard as an example, because her story of being helpless and a prisoner is how a lot of people feel. The people who need the help the most don't have the voice to reach out or the tools to leave their situation.

MaintainCool · Jun 26, 2012

As Foundlove said Cooking,cleaning,etc can be learned in 6 month,but what about being diplomatic,sugary sweet works,manipulating people,making them work for you,playing with words ,

these things run in the blood,its very hard to learn them.

Raks · Jun 28, 2012

yep,cooking etc are easily learned.Even being street smart is ingrained.But becoming "Worldy wise" ,thats something your parents can help you with. Even after becoming an adult,I was never able to judge people for what they are or make decisions and stand by them.I can still never understand when people are taking a dig or being sarcastic,I just reply sincerely or gape at them.I can never give it back to them.
Now,I'm a parent,so I see things from a different perspective.If my child had exhibited the same behavioral issues I had as a child(unbearably shy,easily bullied,no ambition,no drive),as a parent,I would be doing something about it and making sure my child gained her self-confidence back and made her believe that she can do it all,and do it well. Nothing like that happened to me...Now my complexes have grown with me and its so difficult to get out of the rut!

positivegal · Jun 28, 2012

I am with you all, Unfortunately my parents didn't get worldly knowledge from their parents and with time being they couldn't learn anything other than being innocent..I carry the same thing..I was sucha naive and inocent girl..Now, really hate those tags..I started to learn being wise only after being shattered by my ex.

Loving2011 · Jul 2, 2012

Well, our parents also did the best they can with what they knew. It's possible that they themselves didn't know how to teach us valuable life skills, such as being assertive or knowing how to NOT put up with bullying.

How can an Indian beggar teach his child English when he or she doesn't know himself?

The solution would be to find another mentor or helpful person that's willing to show you the ropes. If you want to be the best, you learn from the best. If we look hard enough, I'm sure there are nice people out there that are willing to help us out.