Toddler problem

Dear Nagagoklu,

Even i was feeling the same with my 2.2 yr old DD...till she was 1.8 yrs old she never missed me ...nor would she ask for me ....btw i am working mother. So once i am back from office she would give me a smile and get back to her work .. ..i used to feel so bad ....

But now a days ....she comes to me as soon as i reach home ..and sticks to me all the while ...even when i am sick ...
Even my In laws come home she used to go to them and was not asking for me ...but now she only needs me ..and we have to convince her to go and talk to them ...

so dont worry .....this shall pass soon...in a way you will get some me time ...and let them also enjoy playing with their gradson ..

 

hi nagagokul
this is a phase coming in every child. Some days ago my son is also behaving in the similar fashion. now everything seems to be in correct order.
I feel very happy when my son loves his grand father and mother. this is nothing like they are stealing your son.
there is nothing to be insecure about it.

 

Hi,
I feel as moms, we tend to be taken from granted, isn't that right?! Maybe, in a way, it is good for the kid if he feels that you will always be around and therefore do not need to be given special attention by him! I understand that it would make you depressed that you are not considered when others are around, but consider this: he sees you everyday at all times, whereas he gets little chance to interact with the others. Is it very surprising that he would choose to spend the small amount of time he has with them? After all, when they are not there, doesn't he come to you again? Why not utilize the time you gain when your parents and husband are around by doing things for yourself which you probably do not get a chance to do when you are with your son? Pursue your hobbies or put your feet up and take a much-needed rest! I believe that you are lucky to be able get a chance to do those things!

 

When his grand parents visit, they give their full attention to him and he likes it.

You have mentioned that you do all the work at home. So you are probably busy working all the time. Staying at home and doing chores does not mean that you are spending time with him.

He is a child he cannot understand the work you do FOR him. He can only understand the time you play WITH him.

Also notice how his grandma interacts with him and you can see what he likes.

Hire maids and get help. Free yourself from excess kitchen and household work (do them when is at school or napping) and when he is back from school, spend time playing, singing , coloring etc etc with him. At this age, the toddler who now has a lot of energy needs a lot of activities and they will get bored so easily too. So keep introducing variety of activities to him. You will enjoy it too and he will become a happy smart kid too.

Cheer up. All the best.

 

I know it seems that he does not care for you now, but believe me, no one can replace you in his eyes! Just remember that and don't be stressed out too much. Kids of that age do not have the emotional capacity to understand all that now. How about giving him some extra pampering when his grandma leaves?! One thing, does he cry and look for her after she has left? I'm betting he does not!

 

Hi Bigalittlemom
Welcome to IL

I agree with you

 

Hi Naga
I see a kid in you.Just think in your kid's point.Kids always want to be in secured and happy environment.Your kid get this from there family members.Just think how do you feel when your kid is so attached to your mother.You wont think in the same way.One thing i understand either you won't like your MIL(or MIL way of thinking) or you have over possessiveness in your kid.Leave the kid in their own way afterall they are so close to your family members.
If you feel he is not doing his daily routine properly.You have to speak to him slowly an explain him,it sounds so silly but this generation kids understand (or either instruct your mil to help him out),Don't be so hard to the kiddo, then he won't come near you.It takes sometime to make him understand but he will definitely understand one day.Don't worry.

One thing i understand from you is,you love your kid unconditionally.That's why it's making you post this thread .Just think he is 2.5 not 25 years...Enjoy your life ya don't worry or waste your time on this.When you read your post after 1 years(or even getting sudden gyan) you might be smiling on it for posting petty things.

 

Dear NagaGokul,
Let me share you my story to make you understand...
I am a working mom and my DD happily waves bye to me and spends her day with my ILs...for the past 2 weeks,she is going for her nursery...she behaves well and my mil has no complaints about her(except on her food intake)..infact my DD calls her "amma" UNTIL I COME BACK FROM OFFICE...after that my DD literally brushes off my MIL FIL or whomsoever is available at home..she doesnt even care much even if my hubby comes back from office...she sticks and only sticks onto me...weekend,she is like super glued to me..so you see,this is exactly the same situation at your place...my mil fil take very good care of my DD,inspite of that,DD behaves this way...
but i am sure she would have been like this if i was not working...
just because i am not at home during weekdays,she tries to utilise me to the fullest when i am at home...
you know what over the weekedays,many times,even after i come back from office,she refuses to come from my neighbour's place...sometimes she asks me to accompany her to their place..few days she even comes home by 10PM ,just before hitting the bed(has dinner in my neighbour's place)...atleast you are a SAH mother,think about my case..i felt bad but then i understood that this is how she likes and enjoys...so i am just leaving her and continuing my work at home after office...
but she sticks onto me over the weekends..she wont even go to the neighbour's house..very very rare over the wekeends...i literally have to push her to go and play at my neighbour's house...
so i feel she very well understands the difference between weekdays and weekends...

you see the kids always have special love towards their mother..its nothing like they dont like you or utilise you for their needs...its just that they want to spend some time with the people(the people whom the kid loves) who were not around during the morning time...it happens and be strong to accept it...

infact i feel sad when my DD brushes off my MIL when i am at home..she wont even allow mil to do the basic help for her..she would say that she ll get things from amma...and the moment i enter the house,DD will not call my mil as amma...when she calls and mil answers ,DD replies saying "you are paati...i called amma"...see..:bonk

so please dont worry..it happens...let him enjoy...give the baby work to your MIL FIL or DH who ever is your kid attached at that time...
my friends/realtives who have small kids say the same..i mean the baby sticks to the dad from the moment dad returns from office...and never turns towards the mother ..
Few among those mothers are just like you who have left their high paid jobs just to take care of their LO..

SO stay calm and dont stress your mind by thinking of all these..Its just a passing phase
be happy that your kid sticks well to his grandparents...many kids are lacking that in today's world..you can even join their fun if you want..orUse that time for yourself